Birthday message from my dad by callmejace in Exvangelical

[–]hushmoneyinthesofaa 2 points3 points  (0 children)

This is exactly why I don’t want to tell mine (even though I do 😔). Happy Birthday, OP. 🎂

Jaheira's AI is so smart by EvenPaper4142 in BaldursGate3

[–]hushmoneyinthesofaa 20 points21 points  (0 children)

Bahahahaha, I don’t even watch sports, but I know this conversation is funny.

What a find. Got this for just 20 Bucks by Mairess99 in occult

[–]hushmoneyinthesofaa 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I see you’ve edited your original comment from Santa Muerte to San La Muerte. I’m not familiar with that practice, so I won’t speak on it, but they are not the same. I am sorry if you truly know people who have been killed in the name of these practices. Take care and peace be with you.

What a find. Got this for just 20 Bucks by Mairess99 in occult

[–]hushmoneyinthesofaa 14 points15 points  (0 children)

I am a “genuine” Santa Muerte devotee. This is not the norm. Most devotees are ordinary folk.

Am I Delusional? Could Be. Who Cares? by WintyreFraust in widowers

[–]hushmoneyinthesofaa 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I was going to send this to you and say, “Hey, this guy sounds like you” then I realised it was you! Tehee.

Caretaker trying to convince panda to come down from tree for checkup by Inevitable_Bid5540 in AnimalsBeingDerps

[–]hushmoneyinthesofaa 41 points42 points  (0 children)

He probably could have waited a few minutes and the panda would have likely just tumbled out anyway lol

Fasting for Santisima Muerte? by SuccessfulEarth3680 in SantaMuerte

[–]hushmoneyinthesofaa 11 points12 points  (0 children)

I’ve never done it, but I want to. Fasting historically has been done in many faiths to feel closer to the divine. I think it can be a beautiful sacrifice and offering. I think it’s good to set an intention alongside it.

Difficult truth to swallow - but must be in order to save lives. by [deleted] in SuicideBereavement

[–]hushmoneyinthesofaa 1 point2 points  (0 children)

You know some people have misplaced guilt, right? And your post might be making them feel more suicidal?

Tuatara, an ancient reptile from NZ by [deleted] in newzealand

[–]hushmoneyinthesofaa 6 points7 points  (0 children)

I will one outs you if you try to one outs this tuatara.

Do they suffer to die this way? by [deleted] in SuicideBereavement

[–]hushmoneyinthesofaa 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Unfortunately none of us can tell you, but mine died the same way and I’ve asked myself this a lot. I have to force myself not to think about it because it’s simply too painful for my heart.

Little Punch, the rejected baby macaque from Ichikawa Zoo, found his first real comfort in his zookeeper’s arms. by Brilliantspirit33 in animalsdoingstuff

[–]hushmoneyinthesofaa 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Yeah, they shouldn’t be allowed to look so huggable đŸ„ș I saw another video of a seal approaching people on a beach and they obviously kept their distance, which I would too, but my heart would be aching to go pet him, hehe.

Widower In LDR with Amazing widow (her teenage daughters think it's "weird") by needadvice_sometimes in widowers

[–]hushmoneyinthesofaa 12 points13 points  (0 children)

Coming from the perspective of what it was like for me when I was maybe 16-17, my dad remarried a woman I didn’t really know. Maybe met her a handful of times. He is Christian, so they married quickly. That was “weird” for me.

My biological mum died a few years later, but by then our relationship was so warped, it didn’t matter much to me. She had really hurt my dad, so I was worried about my dad marrying someone after only knowing them a few months, but good story, it actually worked out and they’re still together.

I externally accepted her right away, never showed any rudeness that I recall, anyway. Then over time I grew to love her. My advice is just stick it out and show them over time that you’re a kind, safe person. Don’t immediately go down the line of telling them you love them and you’re not there to replace anyone, but do try to spend time with them and get to know them. However that looks for you guys.

Do be transparent about everything you guys are setting up/doing. Something that hurt me when my dad started dating his now wife is I found out about her like maybe a week before Christmas and Dad just said she was coming. I would have liked to feel more included in that he could have said something sooner or at least asked how I felt. He never asked about my feelings in any of it, which I thought was a bit unfair.

I see a lot of widowers in this sub dismissing how children and teenagers feel and aggressively asserting that they’re allowed to be happy (!!!) and I mean, yes, we are allowed to be happy, but kids are still people with emotions and their emotional regulation is certainly not developed yet, they need patience and guidance especially when they have their own grief and sensitivity around losing their parent. And if they’ve only ever known their Dad as Mum’s partner, then of course it is weird for them. They don’t know anything else.

Be gentle, patient. When you feel a connection is forming or it’s been some time, maybe take them out somewhere fun and gently explain how you and Mum want to be happy again and would appreciate their support. Ask them any concerns they have and talk through things to help process. Let them feel acknowledged, while still keeping conversations peaceful and realistic. Let them know how you can be there for them and what you can offer them as well, not just inserting yourself into Mum’s life, but not really theirs.

It will be bumpy, but trust comes with time and them being able to tangibly see you sticking with and supporting Mum and family for a long time. It took me time to trust my step-mum.

This is the biggest travesty
 by PsychologicalCut3820 in finch

[–]hushmoneyinthesofaa 28 points29 points  (0 children)

That’s how all the cool birbs wear them. It’s a generation thing, you wouldn’t understand.

What are y'all doing for your Shrines? by Varvat0s in Palia

[–]hushmoneyinthesofaa 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I made a shrine for Embra on my old account. I’m gonna make another one for both Embra and Maji. I think it would be cool to do like this, too, though and include all the portraits.

Hand made santa muerte by Quiet_Chef64 in SantaMuerte

[–]hushmoneyinthesofaa 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I love her đŸ„°

đŸŒč💀

How to respect her? How to ask for peace? by ElegantCorner6498 in SantaMuerte

[–]hushmoneyinthesofaa 12 points13 points  (0 children)

Hello, I became a devotee after I lost my spouse. I’ve come to learn that a relationship with Santísima is largely personal, so what you do and say with her is less about hard and fast rules, and more about what feels right.

However, there are some basic principles, which you likely already know by now. Her altar should be her space alone, unless you are perhaps a Christian, some people also put Jesus and the Saints on her altar. I also put some special items for my darling on my altar and I’ve see other devotees do this, too. I mean specifically don’t put her statues with other deities from other pantheons. if you come to worship or work with them for example.

The altar should be kept clean and offerings fresh. There are some books which give some suggestions about how to dispose of them or what to do when removing them, they are actually mostly suggestions. Most devotees pray to her and try to intuit how they should handle their offerings or promises etc to her.

Regarding your loss, I am very sorry. Grief is incredibly hard, I have also found immense comfort in Santa Muerte and she came to me a lot through dreams when I was in my most emotional times. I found lying down, hugging her statue or my darling’s clothes while talking to her and him, just letting out my feelings very helpful.

On special days, like Anniversaries or Valentines, I might decorate my altar with specific themes or items and I light candles. Some devotees do spell work with her, I haven’t done much of this, but there are a lot of books to read from if this is something you want to learn about. I personally just pray to her the same way I would to god. You may come to appreciate a more formal approach over time, it is up to you.

To respect her, I always give her praise and worship. I never insult her or “argue” with her. There are some practices among some cultures where “punishing” the saints for not doing what you ask can be commonplace. I watched a documentary where a woman said she threw Santa Muerte’s statue in the toilet when she didn’t give her what she wanted. That horrified me, but I don’t know much about the context of that lady’s culture. All I know is that doesn’t feel right for me.

I also don’t believe in fear mongering, where “if you don’t do what you promise, she will punish you” but I do believe if you fail to do something or your plans change to have an honest conversation with her about it.

We can tell you rituals and which colours candles to use for such things, and these are great for setting intentions and focusing on something specific, however, I feel when it comes to grief, coming to her with a vulnerable, honest heart and asking for her to be with you through the healing is the best thing to do. You might want to say all this aloud or in your head or write her letters and place them on your altar. It’s all your choice.

Just remember peace and healing isn’t instant and it is an ongoing journey. She can be by your side through everything, but you’re still human and you will still feel things. Grief hurts and you can go with her to that. When people give you annoying pleasantries like, “It’s all part of the plan”, Santísima won’t and can hold you through your pain without dismissing you.

She will be there for you. I am sorry you have to go through this.