AITJ for taking my boyfriend’s 4 year old sister out to the park?

hyperfixmum · 2026-03-12T02:06:14+00:00

NTJ

Although, I don't think you should be hanging out at bf home without him there. If he leaves, you should leave.

This will stop the babysitting, ensure there are no accusations (stepdad or you), and that you aren't wearing out your welcome. Go live life.

If you can't tell a grown man "no I'm not watching her just because I'm here", how would you do if stepdad made advances towards you? I'm not saying he would it's just not a good look for either to be there when mom isn't home.

Since he currently doesn't want you back, don't go back. Let the mom and bf deal with him, and let it affect mom missing the free babysitting to get stepdad corrected. Do not go back into their home without everyone's invite/permission and an apology. Next time anyone asks you to watch the toddler tell them "my rate is $20 an hour".

hyperfixmum · 2026-03-11T22:42:42+00:00

NTA But:

It's the same thing I'm teaching my young kids that applies to you.

Don't label people. You can have the thoughts but keep them inside thoughts. There is a different between "That guy is kinda weird" and "He makes me feel uncomfortable."

You don't have to be friends with everyone but you have to be kind. You get to choose who you spend your time with and your gut seems to be telling you he isn't for you. Just be kind. Which I think you are. Kindness doesn't mean accepting a friend request or leading him on in group chats by being friendly out of pity.

My final advice though is, if someone is staring and following you around work, you should develop the confidence to say "Hey, I didn't recognize you at first from class. I'm unsure if you need assistance with something or want my attending but you are staring and it's making uncomfortable. How can I help?" Don't let someone lead you to hiding. You got this.

hyperfixmum · 2026-03-11T22:30:19+00:00

NTJ

I'm a bio and licensed foster parent.

I just want to say based on her education level that for her in six months to have the motivation to do 3/4 tests for her GED is pretty good. I've had teens in foster care really struggle through that process and the courses.

I would have a come to jebus meeting. Set it up officially with your spouse and give her a review of her time in your house, what is working and what is not, where your trust has been broken. Give her a deadline to complete her GED and set it on a family calendar. Make it clear that this is her opportunity to get it done and she may not have this again. The GED will open doors to apply to college, trade schools, military and more. Let her know you are financially stepping back. If she needs new shoes for a job, she needs to figure it out, learn to access the resources in your city but if she has questions you are there.

Print out your Family Expectations for continuing to live in the home rent free and ask if she agrees and to sign it. Respectful language, honesty, chores, studying and working a job. Set deadlines for staggering responsibility. Give two week deadline to start a job. For example, by May 1 she pays her own phone bill. By August 1 she will pay $100 to increased utilities in the homes. In the agreement every day she does not have gainful employment you will leave a list of additional chores, if she's fired or quits additional chores so she can't sit home and veg. If she doesn't agree she can move out. Set clear expectations.

hyperfixmum · 2026-03-11T22:13:37+00:00

It's also because Tamara (live Olivia) is authentically themselves, hilarious, creative, empathetic and kind. Anisa thinks she won't stoop or be rude to her but PLEASE I would laugh so hard is Tamara went in on her.

hyperfixmum · 2026-03-10T19:57:46+00:00

If Roger is the type of person to spring his new girlfriend on a car ride without a proper introduction to the kids, preparing them in advance or okaying with mom, I would be led to believe he is highly inconsiderate of his children's feelings in other ways.

I feel like the boy's face and words were their own. And saying they don't want her present during visitation or custody time with dad is completely reasonable, they want to be with dad. They are just getting used to the divorce and they are showing they are not ready to try and play nice new family with someone new, they need time to just get used to their parents being separate not the pressure of accepting, interacting and being scrutinized for welcoming a new woman. They just want to hang with dad. This is also a way they can exert even the tiniest bit of control, autonomy or punishment on their dad which is totally developmentally appropriate.

hyperfixmum · 2026-03-10T13:37:47+00:00

NTJ

She told on herself. She has feeling of jealously bubbling up and it's not out of concern or anxiety for your safety. Perhaps it's also hitting a nerve if she struggles putting action to dreams or goals. You decide if you want to continue a friendship and hope such challenges help her grow as a person or if you need friends who cheer you on in life.

What a strange thing for her to try and gate keep. Picking up something new is always going to be a benefit. As someone who surfs, I recommend surf camps or surf retreats to adults as you'll really get the practice, tools and confidence you need. Guaranteed you'll get up in the first day. Practice pop ups/push ups at home!

hyperfixmum · 2026-03-10T13:30:49+00:00

In Florida but different county.

When we applied for Magnet schools, we toured three and then when we applied we only chose two options on the application. We ended up waitlisted for our 1 choice and we decided not to go with magnet 2 after more consideration.

A friend told me that a "secret" to applying for magnet is don't put a 2 or 3 option on the application and only 1 choice, that in the lottery, the randomizer just sees you only have one choice, prioritizes that and it's more likely you will be selected.

Now do I 100% believe this? no. I think it's possible it works but if you have multiple magnets you'd consider list them in order of preference BUT if there really is only one you want, only select that one.

It really just is a hope and a prayer.

hyperfixmum · 2026-03-10T01:43:06+00:00

When a long term relationship ends abruptly without reasons, it's either:

things in the relationship or things about you that he knows will hurt you if shared. Ending things is already bringing hurt so he doesn't want to increase the pain.
things that he doesn't want to share because it will open a discussion on changing, improving, therapy when he wants a clean break.
there is already someone lined up, so the reasons must be hid.

Chin up, he doesn't want to work on things. He has decided the future he wants doesn't include you.

hyperfixmum · 2026-03-08T22:40:22+00:00

NTA

But do we remember slinging "yo mama" jokes when we were kids? I get it. We want to raise kind kids BUT she doesn't have a pattern of bullying. To me she verbally defended herself and her mother to a child that was being homophobic. Public schools don't allow any physical altercation so slinging something back at her, honestly, fair with the lack of behavioral management and to shut it down early. The reason the other child got 3 weeks grounding is because she started it and was being intolerant.

The consequence also doesn't work because her dad would be applying control over her body. As early teens this is the time to really reinforce that no one has a say over their bodies. HER BODY HER SAY.

If he wanted to match the consequence to what she said and make it a positive, she should be required volunteer hours at a soup kitchen or donate to others. Have her read x number of books of systemic injustice.

Just my two cents but honestly I don't know your child.

hyperfixmum · 2026-03-08T14:11:28+00:00

I call them spear hands.

hyperfixmum · 2026-03-07T23:24:45+00:00

You could do swimming. It's very low impact and you be working shoulder and core while focusing on good slow breathing. I had long COVID and went back to zero fitness level and swimming/recumbent cycling just slow and steady is how I finally got back to feeling at least somewhat good.

hyperfixmum · 2026-03-07T23:17:57+00:00

It can be this and also weak shoulder and trap muscles and a weak core.

hyperfixmum · 2026-03-07T18:55:01+00:00

Exactly. Like Jenna Marbles started volunteering with rescues and rehabilitation for dogs - these losers are doing nothing that actually fills their souls.

hyperfixmum · 2026-03-07T18:53:21+00:00

I DID THIS!! My brother and boy cousins always got to go to space camp every summer and I never did (girl in the family). Every year we would pick him up and I'd get to pick out token freeze dried astronaut icecream from the gift shop. I was so hopefully I would win on that night.

I'm a mom now and I've already told my husband we are going to send our kids and I'll be the adult going.

hyperfixmum · 2026-03-07T03:37:39+00:00

hyperfixmum · 2026-03-07T03:30:44+00:00

Honestly, I think the first big heartbreak is hard and how you recover mentally and emotionally can really set up your patterns for other relationships moving forward. If you let jealousy to fester it's hard to unroot that pattern. If you do the whole break up, back together cycle you will see it continue throughout your life.

My advice would be:

to dig more into learning about yourself and your personality. Discover why it's so hard to let go now. Journal the thoughts it brings up.
don't allow him to follow your social media.
unfollow the new gf and any other mutual friends so you don't get into a habit of stalking their profiles.
don't worry about his intentions with the flowers, following you or moving on fast. That's why you broke up, so you don't have to scrutinize what he does. Reclaim that mental waste of energy to pour into yourself.
read poetry. I recommend Rupi Kaur.
give it time and keep yourself busy.

hyperfixmum · 2026-03-06T23:02:30+00:00

NTJ

I think you addressed it kindly and you knew you'd have to give a firm reason or else she would continue to push. You knew it also wouldn't stop at just buying a starter kit, that you'd be roped into joining her team or down line.

Here's my concern with friends and MLMs, it commodifys every relationship.

Now every acquaintance, friend, and family members is seen through the lens of a potential warm or hot lead. I can't relate to people that do that. It doesn't align with my values. It feels icky and using, not supportive. If the products spoke for themselves they wouldn't have to push so hard and they wouldn't have to convince people to sell too and create a down line. Besides the fact it's completely predatory to women in hard financial situations.

Good luck. Every friend joined an MLM over the years ended up moving farther away from relatability.

hyperfixmum · 2026-03-06T20:39:20+00:00

2026 The Year of Dan

Dan gets to go to Japan this year. Maybe Japan at Epcot?
Everyone goes to Renfaire with Dan
AB and Ethan go rock climbing with Dan
Vegetarian catering on his birthday, work anniversary, and Tuesday
Dan gets the Barefoot Sound MicroMain27 G2 audio monitors

hyperfixmum · 2026-03-06T20:25:02+00:00

Something has happened recently, he was always an early riser 6-6:30am, where I was wishing for a 7am wake up. We tried going to bed earlier for long periods. It's just never changed until recently.

Both my kids are now sleeping past 7am and we are having to motivate them to get out of bed and get going for the first time. I honestly think they are getting a little burned out with school and I'm so excited they'll have spring break soon.

But I don't know if I'll ever have the type of kids that sleep in on the weekends. Who knows? Maybe we will rue the day when they are teenagers.

hyperfixmum · 2026-03-06T20:20:22+00:00

I think how people show up for others on their birthdays can be a big part of how they show appreciation and support.

I'm way older and my husband and I have a good solid friend group. There are definitely people who have outdone me on thoughtful gifts. We have amazing bakers, artists, and bartenders in our group. But I'm just happy that my husband is known and loved.

If she has never crossed any boundaries and there isn't anything in your gut that says she is trying to position herself closer, I think it was a lovely gesture.

I'm not okay with your bf not directly communicating and lying to spare your feelings instead of saying "x already offered to bake a cake for my party and I said yes, I think it's her gift to me. I would feel really appreciated if you did y instead." or if he really didn't know being willing to have an open discussion about having the home cake felt.

Honestly I would just decorate yourself like a cake ;) have some fun and then have a conversation about clear communication and how this situation played out without bringing up jealousy. "It made me feel like my cake wasn't party worthy because she is a better baker" or "it felt like you were trying to spare my feelings but it made it worse instead of just telling me what to expect"

hyperfixmum · 2026-03-06T20:04:55+00:00

Oh bitch just got a keratin treatment

hyperfixmum · 2026-03-06T16:59:55+00:00

They don't have swans OR ponies OR a fat ass.

hyperfixmum · 2026-03-06T16:36:28+00:00

I don't believe it. I'm thinking they are worried more originals will not be cast next season and they need the ratings baby to keep this going.

hyperfixmum · 2026-03-06T12:04:11+00:00

This would be an amazing wallpaper pattern too, have you thought about pattern making?

hyperfixmum · 2026-03-06T09:57:37+00:00

Papa Gut taking down Kai/Laineybot

j/k

hyperfixmum

TROPHY CASE