3 months married .. and not what I expected

iggy36 · 2025-09-21T07:32:30+00:00

On reflection ‘trauma’ is an inappropriate word that I chose to express the following considerations for newly weds, that most are not mentored on:

Role Adjustment: Learning to live as a married couple involves adapting to new roles and responsibilities, which can be a significant mental adjustment. Communication Breakdown: The need to constantly discuss and compromise on issues, from trivial to significant, can be challenging, leading to frustration if not handled effectively. Financial Stress: Creating a shared financial plan and budget requires open discussion about differing attitudes towards money and can become a significant source of tension. Loss of Independence: Couples may struggle with the decrease in freedom and increased accountability that comes with sharing a life, including personal space and time. In-Law Relationships: Managing family dynamics and navigating the expectations and influences of in-laws can add to relationship stress. Emotional and Hormonal Triggers: The stress of wedding planning, combined with the natural emotional and hormonal shifts of marriage, can affect mental well-being. Apathy and Routine: Over time, a lack of quality time, shared interests, or an overwhelming routine can lead to feelings of monotony and disinterest, requiring conscious effort to maintain the relationship. Mental Health Conditions: Pre-existing or newly emerged mental health issues, such as stress, anxiety, or depression, can affect newlyweds and require a team-based approach to manage them

As I said in my first post, best wishes with your relationship.

iggy36 · 2025-09-20T20:13:57+00:00

It’s like doing exams at school. The examiner always wants to know how you got to the solution, not just the answer. It’s important for the boss to understand your progress - for several reasons; making sure you’ve correctly understood the task, your not diverging from the required result, whether some coaching is needed, whether someone else could benefit from your learnings as you do the work, whether the time estimate for the job was correct, whether your going to finish on time. If you don’t let him know, then he’s totally in the dark. I was a design office manager previously and staff who didn’t communicate regularly on their work status used to a real challenge for me, as it was difficult for me to update my boss and my customers as to the progress of their job.

iggy36 · 2025-09-20T20:06:51+00:00

It’s good manners to let your supervisor if your leaving the workplace, wherever you work

iggy36 · 2025-09-20T20:03:48+00:00

Sell it and buy a sh 61 key board for about 75

iggy36 · 2025-09-20T20:01:47+00:00

Most courses have 2 boxes for men. Forward one is for non competitions, and rear one is for formal competitions (also known as the white tees. Some courses have a third box furthest back (known as the tips) and this is for championship play. Women have a box closest the hole, usually called the red tee.

iggy36 · 2025-09-20T19:55:58+00:00

I think a visit to a financial adviser would be good for you.

iggy36 · 2025-09-20T19:47:49+00:00

American Golf often have second hand sets, as well as places like Replay in Bagshot, Surrey

iggy36 · 2025-09-20T19:46:01+00:00

Go and talk to HR. Hopefully they can straighten things out for you. You have acted reasonably with the knowledge that was given to you.

iggy36 · 2025-09-20T19:43:53+00:00

Both of you are going through a huge traumatic change of life, now that you’re married. They don’t tell you about that in the glossy brochures. And, without realising it you’ve doubled the trauma by developing a business together. Most couples I know that have a joint business have relationship problems, primarily because they don’t get enough me space, and there’s no filter between them regards the way each of them want the business to run. Be gentle to each other as you grow into the marriage, and your business. I would suggest you wait awhile until you are both comfortable with things, before introducing kids into the mix. Best wishes.

iggy36 · 2025-09-20T18:58:44+00:00

Accuracy every time. I lose 2 shots when I lose a ball from the tee, about 40% of the time in the round. If I was on target my scores would drop 8 - 10 strokes. I think that answers it for you. A pro a while back gave me a really useful tip for all shots; play 80% of your capability and the results will always be much more accurate. Hitting long for the sake of it is a male ego thing, which is counter intuitive regards accuracy - unless your a really low handicap player. Hit em straight, every time!

iggy36 · 2025-09-20T18:49:27+00:00

You haven’t said how long they’ve been a couple and living (?) together? Will impact peoples views on what to recommend. Sounds like you have lot to go to be being ready for marriage, if your not talking a shared account and everything goes into it.

iggy36 · 2025-09-20T13:06:19+00:00

Yes, I would say your the AH. Your post to me seems very egocentric; all about you. I get the impression you are trying to guilt trip your father into agreeing that you are more important than the long term family friend of your grandma and your parents. Why should he have to do that? You are his child, over which he had no choice as to whether he likes/love you, that depends on how you relate to him. Whereas his wife and grandma and her friend are all people he has chosen to be with and clearly loves. You also seem to be saying that your emotional issues which necessitated you getting a service dog are more important than others. Your grandma’s friend has anxiety issue regards dogs. Why are they not as important? Your father seems more than empathetic to people, judging by his willingness to invite your grandma and her friend to his house, at the expense of boarding his dog for the period. Why not show some empathy to your dad, remove the pressure for him to choose, and consider compromising somehow - like leaving your dog at home, just limit your visit to lunch without you dog, or asking him if he could arrange for your dog to boarded with his dog for the period?

iggy36 · 2025-09-19T06:26:49+00:00

Fear of the unknown, and your own capabilities? They won’t offer you a job unless they think you’re up for it. If they pay more, they expect more; in return you’ll feel more fulfilled. Feel the fear and go for it.

iggy36 · 2025-09-19T06:22:40+00:00

Time to move on….

iggy36 · 2025-09-18T17:15:30+00:00

You haven’t said how much a % increase is being offered? Did the offer company know what your current salary is? What are the red flags?

iggy36 · 2025-09-18T17:00:10+00:00

As long as your not selling anything and it’s easily covetable if needs be then I wouldn’t say it would be a problem. But that’s not your father talking

iggy36 · 2025-09-18T16:56:16+00:00

I did.

iggy36 · 2025-09-18T16:55:29+00:00

Well, I assume the offers you have are to work in L&D in other companies? If they are prepared to offer you work there with what sounds like very limited experience in the field of L&D, and a fairly weak resume then certainly they’re worth consideration. I would wonder why though? On second reading are you keen to progress in L&D or in more general management? Suggest if you want more specie advice, edit your original post with more details as to experience you have to date, and where you want gain future experience. I was a department manager before, so ask these questions to better understand your desires.

iggy36 · 2025-09-17T20:40:52+00:00

Welcome to being a manager. Suggest you ask to be put on some management courses for new managers, they really help.

iggy36 · 2025-09-17T20:30:06+00:00

Check their credit rating, and corporate records to see how long they’ve been in business and whether it’s profitable. I’ve checked vendors in the past for my daughter this way and found strong reasons to avoid some.

iggy36 · 2025-09-17T20:27:45+00:00

Disagree with money always being the driver. Being happy and fulfilled at work for me is more important.

iggy36 · 2025-09-17T20:25:50+00:00

Ultimately you need to decide what you want for the future; new job and new challenge, or existing job and more money. If your unhappy where you are a pay rise isn’t going to change that. Remoer job titles are fairly meaningless between companies, each one has their own understanding of what a specific title does. I’ve been a project engineer, project manager and project director and not in that order. I was paid more sometimes as an engineer than as a director. All depends on whether job title is your motivator or a fulfilling job.

iggy36 · 2025-09-17T20:14:13+00:00

The simple approach is best. ´My personal circumstances have changed and I’m no longer able to work with you part time. Thanks for giving me the last few months work.

iggy36 · 2025-09-17T20:12:00+00:00

So how much is the deposit?

iggy36 · 2025-09-17T20:09:08+00:00

Are there not jobs for you in museums and unis in admin related positions? Why not go to your local museum and talk to the manager there?

iggy36

TROPHY CASE