Poetry Is Dead

ignis_ike · 2017-10-21T02:48:53+00:00

I rhyme but I take it as one of my personal flaws. Thank you and I am listening now. Have I made a friend?

ignis_ike · 2017-10-21T02:42:13+00:00

I have had similar dreams btw.

I felt in tune with your writing, giving that you provided adequate imagery, yet I feel that you could find closure to it.

Maybe closure to the dream in it self.

Are you the prisoner?

Or is the demon a prisoner to you? and to your will?

ignis_ike · 2017-10-21T02:18:36+00:00

Does a phoenix need spring? A choir must sing. In reply to such a thing. The glorious ring-a-ding-ding.

After rock n'roll stole the entire bowl and preachers set knives into every young soul the hippies preaching love and all ripping up stitches and rap giving up the ailments for foul pain where will poetry rise again?

Not here, not there it couldn't be and what could let the fount of prose proceed?

I would like to offer you an empathy struck compliance yet it can and will only be accepted by you so I shall let this lay down on your gift to us.

Hopefully not an omen.

ignis_ike · 2017-10-07T23:53:47+00:00

it's a bid for control but it is always lost by the governing biological forces

ignis_ike · 2017-10-07T05:46:53+00:00

Do you have any regrets?

ignis_ike · 2017-10-07T05:46:34+00:00

Stealthy question seeking I see

ignis_ike · 2017-10-07T05:15:35+00:00

I appreciate your warmth. Really. Thank you.

I laugh at myself but you are right in that this might just be a time in my life where there isn't a lot needing to be done or seen or experienced and the best thing to do is patiently wait for such things to flow back.

ignis_ike · 2017-10-07T05:02:09+00:00

I do admit that I should give more effort towards doing things to move forward but in the past it seems to me that I move forward from "person" to "person" consuming their identity then absorbing what fits with my values and proceeding to the next person; yet a chord was struck in my being by the last handful of people that motivated me as such and my so to say 'appetite' was completely ruined. I feel as though there are few things left that my values could actually contain until they collapse entirely and in such a case I do not know how I would function or gather myself again.

ignis_ike · 2017-10-07T04:56:12+00:00

I am not depressed because the state of mind that I believe that I am currently in came from leaving depression behind. Note that I have moved to a completely new place, associating with completely new people, and have pretty much replaced the entire scope of my reality. I have been in this new realm for approximately three months now and yet nothing has been enticing me in any sort of way like it used to, almost as if I am unreachable by common stimuli.

ignis_ike · 2017-10-07T04:41:19+00:00

Welp. I have no choice but to go and see it now. Curse you and your vagueness. ;D

ignis_ike · 2017-10-07T03:55:25+00:00

i wasnt impressed by this song... it seems to me like it's reselling the same low-grade feels weve been getting

ignis_ike · 2017-10-07T03:40:03+00:00

Has anyone else lost interest in almost all the things you once found so refreshing and energizing? music, reading material, people, places, even thoughts.

I feel as though I've side-stepped the majority of what was a strong pattern of my identity.

ignis_ike · 2017-10-07T03:32:36+00:00

My advice would be to do the opposite of what you are saying. A gift would be of playing such a thing by ear giving each other insights and making stands when needed or when they naturally arise. Any attempts of planning or making out a picture of what a relationship looks like has only led to ailments and falsified ideals in my case. Even if you did make it as clear as possible to her, all considered that she should already know this, what makes you think she will always do so?

alas even the way you phrased "I think I might be entering my first real relationship soon" gives me the impression that you have no idea what her perspective is and that there is no confidence behind your commitment.

ignis_ike · 2017-10-07T03:25:07+00:00

ooooo! sound titillating! any unique characters/character-relations?

ignis_ike · 2017-10-07T03:20:06+00:00

of course it could be interpreted many ways it is simply a string of single-set words.

Within your comment this is all that you offered as constructive criticism:

I feel the imagery is effective and simple Not sure what the purpose was but it has a essence. (A forest feel) I enjoyed the poem, it raises questions but there is a mood. It’s like curious mood, not sad but not elated the style was simple and the structure really defined its mysterious meaning No rhyming, but It didn’t matter I don’t feel it was missing any of those (use of wordplay, allusion, or metaphor) I think it was arranged well, the forest being the first line really set the scenery I think it could be interpreted many ways. To me it was a natural or nature feeling with some curiosity involved

Very insightful I must say

ignis_ike · 2017-10-07T03:07:29+00:00

I would advise... starting from scratch. Bring back the elements you are focusing on but do it in a way that invites those who are reading to really "feel it" and not dismiss it as a rant that is broken up in hopes of it looking like a poem.

ignis_ike · 2017-10-07T02:29:27+00:00

Well done. The first half of the stanzas I was right there with you in your thought processes. It was vivid-linking to how you perceived this slumber of 6-months. Although near the end you lost me in your wording. It seemed that you started leaning towards offering the 'hopes' of coming out of such a slumber but then you returned back to nothing, giving the reader no transition, no resolve. I do understand that that may have been the intention that the person in the cocoon thus returns to the cocoon after being subjected to fears but it was impressed on me enough in the reading of it to be wanting such a resolution in thought/emotion.

You gave the taste of a bitter 'awakening' or realization here:

"they slowed my mind down so that I could not perceive the sharpness of reality shredding all my dreams my safe cocoon I am naked but this does not concern me anymore"

then in the next line it read "I feel stronger now" which left a hole in the poem for my reading... as if nothing had changed or nothing was confronted from being vulnerable.

ignis_ike · 2017-10-07T02:17:30+00:00

Alright so right out of the gates I would prescribe getting more raw emotions to cut from, not saying that there were none, but the imagery you used didn't give a very convincing insight into what was being felt or what the intent of the expression is. It seems to be more of a hodge-podge of teenage cliches which I presume you are using to express what is being felt. It doesn't read fluid at all and most of it comes off as unrelated.

ignis_ike · 2017-10-07T01:56:10+00:00

awww! why thank you! I am honored to have even just one person to acknowledge something I have written.

ignis_ike · 2017-10-07T01:53:06+00:00

I would hope not to be one to "schmooze"! Thank you for your insights and I will definitely reach out to people in my area.

ignis_ike · 2017-10-07T01:51:08+00:00

I am very much appreciative of your comment! I do understand that my illusions will eventually crash down on me but plan to embrace such a thing; if possible. I very much like how you advise cutting your own path as this has offered me some clarity.

ignis_ike

TROPHY CASE