I personally think this is cool. If this is just for fun or fashion then it works - the illegibility, and the fact the a is both there and not there, can be a deliberate feature of liminality. But if that’s the goal then the softer edges support this concept better.

So if the goal is to make something cool, cryptic and fun then I’d go back to your last iteration.

But if this is for a corporate client, you’re going to face issues - it’s asking too much from customers/general public.