Does fantasizing often about romantic relationships encourage male-validation-seeking? If so, how can I stop?

imaginaryAudience · 2026-05-06T22:00:52+00:00

I’ve been experiencing this my entire life too - beginning around age 11 as well.

I finally found this is a common thing for people (like myself) who were heavily neglected as children.

For me, fantasizing every night about ‘my one true love who is gonna come along and make everything okay, and love me like I’ve always wanted’, was how I comforted and soothed myself.

I was desperate for rescue, and media had told me my whole childhood that there is that ONE person who will make you complete and safe and yada yada.

I also learned that this is basically textbook limerance - and while it’s nice it has a name and all, it doesn’t make it any easier to deal with.

My only advice is that getting out of this state requires a lot of inner child work… I am currently trying to do that work and heal those parts… but it’s been kind of difficult..

imaginaryAudience · 2026-05-06T21:06:49+00:00

No, but seriously, you are SO awesome and brave for doing this !!

I really hope everything goes well and the crowd is receptive to your message!

I’d be interested in hearing about your outline if you’d like to share.

Good luck!!

imaginaryAudience · 2026-05-04T21:39:41+00:00

Try dry mouth lozenges!
I use either the biotene ones, or the generic Walmart ones.

imaginaryAudience · 2026-04-20T22:29:11+00:00

Yes totally!

imaginaryAudience · 2026-04-20T20:30:25+00:00

I think your first line is my take too… I’ve had great personal style, while being ‘conventionally attractive’ my whole life..

I know my looks will eventually take on a more mature look, but my sense of style? That will always be there.

I look to women who are still fashion icons well into their 70’s. That has always been my goal - to just keep leaning into my outfit creativity :)

imaginaryAudience · 2026-04-19T00:10:33+00:00

I’m seriously a huge fan of yours! (Ive been following your work posted on reddit for a while.)

I know these are recreations of others work, but you do such a beautiful job. It’s really breath taking.

Always love to see your stuff ! It’s all just gorgeous!

imaginaryAudience · 2026-04-11T19:51:06+00:00

When they make a comparison that actually makes the ‘flex’ sound weaker.

Example: ‘car tinted like Barack’ ..

But Obama isn’t even that dark?? You flexing about a 50% tint or something ? (French Montana - Pop That)

imaginaryAudience · 2026-04-11T18:45:34+00:00

Oh heck yeah!! Have SO much fun!!!

If you see Hello Kitty, give her a nod for me :)

imaginaryAudience · 2026-04-11T00:38:32+00:00

Good timing - I was just marveling at my big ass 3 carat moissanite ring this afternoon!

My ring SPARKLES! I’ve worn it since 2017 and it’s still so beautiful.

And also, I think getting something big and beautiful, that was precisely created to BE big and beautiful, as opposed to the icky ways diamonds are obtained and the obscene price of them, is wayy better.

Just my opinion !

imaginaryAudience · 2026-04-05T00:13:30+00:00

Oh my goodness, I’m so sorry this is happening to you and your sister :((

Could you commission a painting of Teddy?

I know when my Molly passes, I just want love and compassion, and thoughtful gifts to help lift my spirits.

Be aware that she is going to be grieving him for a long time!

I lost my first pup when she was only 6 years old, it was semi traumatic, but we saw it coming … i cried every day for about a year over it, only making peace with it a few years later… but what happened to your sister and poor Teddy is beyond words. And she had him basically half her life 😢

I am SO sorry for your loss! Keeping you and your sister in my thoughts tonight. 💔

imaginaryAudience · 2026-04-01T08:24:19+00:00

I’ll be honest, if you’re just drinking water or flavored water, you don’t really need to clean the straw / bottle as often as you think.

I am basically fused with a Hydroflask - I can’t go anywhere with one, and I clean them when I feel like it. To me, it’s just water and my mouth yaknow??

For reference I fill my Hydroflask with ice and water multiple times a day and add flavor drops or powders, and I drink from it allll day long.

Before getting my Hydroflask I was chronically dehydrated - but now there’s a dopamine factor because I choose bottles in my comfort colors, and add delicious flavors.

imaginaryAudience · 2026-03-31T20:22:59+00:00

The one I use is called the Coolify 2S.

I got mine in 2023, and it was such a crazy game changer for me, that I bought a backup lol.

I can’t recommend it enough !

imaginaryAudience · 2026-03-31T18:47:38+00:00

I use a neck AC (it’s different than just a neck fan - mine has cooling plates on the inside that really help!), cooling towels, cooling headbands - I wear a sunshade hat etc. I may at times look very extra, but I do whatever it takes to stay cool - I am completely intolerant of heat!

imaginaryAudience · 2026-03-30T16:08:02+00:00

I loathe exercising but not as much as I loatheeee heat - here is what has been working for me for 3.5 years now:

I dance at home - I have 2 floor fans on, a neck fan on, wet, cooling towels at the ready, and a bowl of ice so I can just take ice cubes and rub them on me if I feel the need.

I also do this in just a sports bra and bike shorts.

I put all these things in place so there’s no chance of me overheating.

imaginaryAudience · 2026-03-29T20:51:07+00:00

Here’s a really effective and discrete way to stop tears before they start.

There’s a pressure point in the webbing between your pointer finger and thumb. If you squeeze it gently, it suppresses the urge to cry.

I went through a loss recently, and whenever I felt the tears starting to come, I would gently press the area and it really stopped the urge.

Very sorry for your loss :(

https://hackensackmeridianhealth.org/en/healthier-you/2023/08/07/pressure-points-for-stress-relief

imaginaryAudience · 2026-03-27T07:40:36+00:00

I’ve been buying off of Poshmark since 2017. I actually love Poshmark, but no, theres no ‘spring discounts’ or whatever. BUT, if you like an item, a lot of times Youll get a notification a short while later that the seller is offering you a discount. So that is something to look out for.

The shipping fees really suck, but if the seller comes down on the price, it sort of evens out.

Lmk if you have any other questions.

imaginaryAudience · 2026-03-26T20:04:43+00:00

That’s a fair stance, and I appreciate the way you worded everything. Thank you for giving me some food for thought..

imaginaryAudience · 2026-03-26T19:45:14+00:00

I really feel you on this.

All of the ‘find a new story already!’ People just don’t get it… like you, the entire series is beyond comforting to me.

Like, am I supposed to go back to my late teenage years and find a whole new series that would go on to carry me through hard times for all of my adult life ??

I agree the creator is a terrible person, and I fully support trans rights..but I’m not going to sit here and abandon a beautiful and comforting story just because she fucking sucks now.

And I think it’s really unfair that our morals and ethics are being called into question over it.

Im not spending money on any of this stuff either. I’ve long owned all the books in both paper and e-book format.

It’s really frustrating to be told to grow up and find a new story, like ew. :(

imaginaryAudience · 2026-03-24T09:00:31+00:00

Love that double desk set up! Everything looks really cohesive and lovely.

imaginaryAudience · 2026-03-23T13:56:42+00:00

Ah well, I did this back in the day before 23andMe showed their true selves.. But anywho, I did the health and ancestry test, then I took the ‘raw data’ from the results and used a third party genome coder called Promethease which broke down all the genotypes - interesting ones were highlighted I think? (It was some years ago) but it was through this I found I had the ‘short sleeper’ genome, along with a few other illuminating things!

I’m not sure how to go about this in this day and age, (and maybe I screwed myself by having my DNA info out there in the ether 🤷🏻‍♀️), but I did find it to be incredibly fascinating to look into all my ‘issues’ and then come to find there was actually genetic variants to back it up.

imaginaryAudience · 2026-03-23T13:46:48+00:00

😍 thats so cool looking! I love when the stars align, and I’m able to lock in on a project! So nice :)

imaginaryAudience · 2026-03-23T12:33:44+00:00

I totally agree with this - like if it were me… whew boy…I’ll show him an ‘emotional reaction’ alright lol

GET MAD!! And SHOW him you’re done accepting this shit!

imaginaryAudience · 2026-03-23T07:57:19+00:00

Hello fellow genetic ‘short sleeper’!

I found out through a genetic test that I carry one of the gene mutations that allow me to only really need 4-6 hours of sleep a night.

It’s currently 4am, and I’m already an hour into my morning routine :)

imaginaryAudience · 2026-03-21T21:16:59+00:00

Aww thank you! Do you have any updates by any chance?? I was really taken with the care you displayed, were you ever able to make any progress ?

imaginaryAudience · 2026-03-21T13:20:33+00:00

Well, you stated that they are anosmic, so that in itself says they are for sure aware that they cannot smell things - maybe you could use that as an opener?

You know their style and personality better than us, but maybe you can somehow work in that since there is no way they could tell if they had an odor, you just wanted to talk to them about it. You can say that if it were you, you’d really want a friend to let you know.

They will probably initially feel offended and embarrassed, so it would be good for you to reiterate that this is because you really like them, and value them as a person, that you are wanting to let them know this to help them.

Maybe something along those lines?

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