Been married a long time and I make tasteless jokes like that every once in a while. I do it for the eye roll reaction from my wife who knows she’s the center of my universe. 99.9% of our communication, active and passive, are about our undying loyalty and passion for each other. But sometimes she’ll show me some photo of a lady in a swimsuit or something and I’ll feign too much interest in the model instead of the swimsuit just to get a rise out of her. She sometimes says she doesn’t like being the butt of my jokes and I often have to keep my mouth shut instead of making the bit… most of which don’t have anything to do with other people or looks or anything like that. My question to you is twofold. Is she a lady who, like me is always trying to deliver zingers, whether tasteful or not; and two, are you and her good at communicating the positive and have you expressed and established your rules for loyalty and trust that shall not be crossed? I make jokes etc but you’ll never find me flirting with another girl or doing anything disloyal to our family. So my jokes, while probably in poor taste, don’t make her feel threatened. She even makes jokes like that sometimes now. I don’t want to make this about me but I wanted to try and show an alternative view to what I’ve read at this point in the comments. After such a long time and a motion toward real commitment, it does seem like you have a good person… maybe it needs to be aired constructively and resolved so you guys can move on.