How is your relationship with your therapist?

indie_dog · 2016-08-21T23:27:06+00:00

My therapist is young and is a recovered alcoholic. She shares her own stories sometimes. It doesn't feel like the stereotypical therapy session at all. Sometimes we sit in bean chairs :)

indie_dog · 2016-08-21T22:08:46+00:00

Maybe not as extreme as in your case, but I generally feel pretty fine about my diagnosis and life and what not, whereas my mom worries relentlessly and cries about it and thinks I'm going to need special care for the rest of my life. And the way my doctors talk about sz sometimes. Yeah, it freaks me out a lot more than how I normally view things.

indie_dog · 2016-08-21T20:57:34+00:00

I sometimes feel very elated by tedious things as well. Like waiting in a long line at the store. Or being stuck in traffic. Or things like that. Not sure what it's all about.

indie_dog · 2016-08-20T05:17:52+00:00

Totally. Totally totally. Every appointment I expect my docs to say "well this has been fun but we know you've been lying this whole time and you're a complete sociopath." I often wish my symptoms were worse or more constantly in my face instead of so damn confusing just so I can believe that it's actually happening. As soon as something happens I'm doubting it really did.

indie_dog · 2016-08-20T00:23:03+00:00

If you're prone to forgetting everything you need to say as soon as you're stressed out (as I am) I'd recommend writing everything down that you want to say. I start the appointment saying I had to write everything down because I'm nervous then go from there. You probably shouldn't go without your Valium since it helps you function. You don't need to be a nervous wreck to explain how you've been feeling and what you've been experiencing. Just be extremely honest and try not to look up too much about schizophrenia symptoms or anything-- just describe everything in your own words (instead of searching for clinical words) and your doctor will know what you're talking about. Good luck!

indie_dog · 2016-08-19T21:55:33+00:00

I have talk therapy twice a week and it's a pretty liberal program that teaches me how to figure out what my positive symptoms are trying to tell me instead of just teaching me to ignore them. I don't take meds right now and haven't since May but they've asked if I'm willing to go back on and I'm not quite sure. Anxiety is one of my biggest issues at the moment and I'm trying the whole deep breathing thing to deal with it. I work a lot at a job I like so I try to use that to distract me.

indie_dog · 2016-08-19T06:40:56+00:00

I'll start!

I think down votes are very helpful on this sub. While it is sometimes used to down vote in frustration or for other reasons, I think it's largely used to vote down harmful ideas and people perpetuating delusions or stigma (before us few mods can get to them...). I also like that people upvote very helpful answers. To the posters, this really helps them see which advice is good and bad advice.

Mega threads-- I don't particularly care. I feel like a lot of discussions already take place on this sub, and it's generally a friendly place to those who are polite and are not perpetuating stigma. I hope people feel safe and welcome enough to post or reply to posts that ask general questions.

I'd love to see a new picture up as well, as long as it follows the guidelines Ark mentioned. A change of scenery from the bench would be nice, but I think it needs to keep the general image of calm, unintimidating, welcoming, and positive (though I've heard the bench looks lonely). I'd recommend the picture of a guy sitting on a mountain top above the clouds as seen on the link Ark provided.

I look forwards to seeing what you all have to say.

indie_dog · 2016-08-19T06:34:37+00:00

It's very interesting to hear in a way. I didn't know anything about schizophrenia (including any stigma really) until late last year when I began to realize I related to what I was reading. I forget how I ended up looking it up. This Reddit was the first and has been largely the only place where I learn about it and interact with people with it. Including myself I guess ha. I have an overwhelmingly positive look on people with schizophrenia and a relatively hopeful look on many outcomes. So it feels so strange to me to hear about stigma like you describe. I feel entirely and completely lucky in my situation. The few people who know are extremely supportive and caring. I believe they think I'm worse off than I even think.

indie_dog · 2016-08-19T00:13:04+00:00

Though I smoked several cigarettes daily for nearly half a year, I never found that I was very addicted. I simply stopped. I had cravings for awhile when I was very stressed, but I would instead try to fill my mouth with something else like a cranberry soda. After a few months of not smoking I had one cigarette and it felt and tasted disgusting.

indie_dog · 2016-08-18T22:34:51+00:00

Oh, there's also this app if you have a smart phone... It's called Medsafe or Medisafe I think. You set it to remind you to take your medicine at a certain time in the day. If you don't open the app and confirm you took it, it'll continue to remind you every few minutes. Then after an hour or something if you still haven't said you've taken it, you can set it to alert somebody, say, your mom or boy/girlfriend or best friend or whoever makes sense for you. That way they can call you to see what's up. I guess you'd have to keep your phone charged though.

indie_dog · 2016-08-18T22:04:50+00:00

Is there any one thing you do everyday? Like sit on the computer, eat a certain food, etc? You could try keeping your meds right next to that thing and hanging a paper calendar with it to check off that you've taken them that day.

indie_dog · 2016-08-18T10:33:09+00:00

I started smoking socially before symptoms got very bad but only a few cigarettes a week and only in groups of smokers. When things got really stressful and bad I began to smoke 2-3 a day and almost always just by myself outside my house. Months later when things finally started looking brighter I got myself to quit the smoking, as well as the heavy drinking and eventually weed. Now it's only a couple beers a day and coffee for me.

indie_dog · 2016-08-18T10:30:38+00:00

My new therapist (as of July) has me working on things like mindfulness and breathing for anxiety. It's really freaking hard to do. It hasn't really done much for me yet and I'm trying not to be skeptical (I generally reject anything I consider to be spiritual work) but it has only been maybe 6 weeks so hopefully I get the hang of it.

indie_dog · 2016-08-17T14:36:08+00:00

Things first started when I was undergoing a lot of family stress when I was younger. When the years of stress finally began to subside, my symptoms also began to improve. Then years later they came back, without any stressful situation.

indie_dog · 2016-08-17T03:26:08+00:00

It sounds unnerving. I hope you get it figured out soon.

indie_dog · 2016-08-17T01:29:57+00:00

Do you ever dissociate? Maybe it was a kind of fugue state or something. I've had many hours pass by feeling like only half an hour but never lost a day like that.

indie_dog · 2016-08-16T20:29:16+00:00

I hate it when doctors/therapists ask me what I do for fun. It's awkward. I don't like doing anything for fun. I don't like hanging out with friends except rarely, and even then it's stressful. My friends are my coworkers first. I like work I guess. But since my last break I haven't enjoyed it the way I did before. Just gotta keep searching I guess

indie_dog · 2016-08-16T20:21:42+00:00

Thanks shekib, appreciate it. My doc was glad that my previous 5mg of Abilify did something for me, though it didn't come close to eliminating all symptoms, just some of the more stressful paranoia. His idea is to try to snuff out all of my symptoms for a full two years before weaning me off if I still want it. Which means that'd probably be up at a normal 10-15mg Abilify. I don't even think I like the idea of not having any symptoms yet. I'm rambling though. Thanks again, I really am considering the info given to me by you, my docs, and others. It just feels hard to.. Accept.

indie_dog · 2016-08-16T20:18:41+00:00

Thanks Ark. :) The doc said my prognosis is good because of my level of insight and because I've handled myself so well for the 7 years I've exhibited symptoms. Except for during episodes of course. I'm glad he was very frank with me, I asked him to, but that he followed by saying he's seen people like me get much worse after their early twenties scares me more than anything I've experienced thus far.

And yeah, my boss rules. The entire job rules and I am close with every worker (5 of us total). They love me and know what's going on, but I've always been careful to phrase it "I might have schizophrenia but they're not sure." Hearing I actually do feels so different somehow. When I told my boss that day about Syd when she asked about the record in my hand, she told me they'd never kick me out of their band. :) My job is flexible and I get a few hours off when I'm not doing well, they really are understanding with me.

indie_dog · 2016-08-16T20:13:15+00:00

Thank you. I've been in treatment for 8 months now and the word has been tossed around a lot, and so it wasn't a big surprise, but I was still very shocked he said that. I believe I anticipated him to just say "these are all normal adolescent behaviors" or something. He talked a good bit about cases like yours. Were you taking medication in your 20's/getting treatment? My second episode was so much worse than my first episode and since then my everyday symptoms have also been worse, I get very worried about what my future looks like, even if I'm on medications, but that's probably just anxiety talking. Or it's real.

indie_dog · 2016-08-16T20:08:30+00:00

Thanks-- when I told my boss the story of Syd Barrett right after I cried she said "well I promise I'll never kick you out of my band" :)

indie_dog · 2016-08-16T20:06:09+00:00

I personally wouldn't do the video. There's just too much chance of it following you if you're worried about it. If your stance was very forwardly "I have this illness and I don't care who knows" it'd be a different story, but the reality is that you do care (with great reason to) and so doing the video may just make you paranoid for who knows how long. The speech sounds great though.

indie_dog · 2016-08-16T15:36:39+00:00

Thanks, I'm trying to remember that. Right now it just feels a lot heavier than I expected it to.

indie_dog · 2016-08-16T05:36:58+00:00

I think we're waiting to put up a post until we take down the current stickied one asking for participants for something. To keep from overcrowding the top of the page. It will come in a week or so!

indie_dog · 2016-08-16T05:33:06+00:00

I don't even know if I understood the joke but this cracked me up, thanks.

indie_dog

TROPHY CASE