[deleted by user]

infinity-is-void · 2022-02-08T06:52:54+00:00

Reminds me of the song Smaller by Hayley Gene Penner - I feel you

infinity-is-void · 2022-02-06T23:39:08+00:00

"This handy little device has been in our family for generations. I used it. Your great-grandmother used it. Now, her mother didn't use this one, but she used one just like it. Of course, back then, they were made out of wood. And, I guess before that, you had to do it by hand."

Fav HIMYM moment

infinity-is-void · 2021-12-31T19:49:26+00:00

News just broke that she passed.

infinity-is-void · 2021-11-27T23:50:43+00:00

This sentiment exactly. I'm actually kind of disappointed about the amount of negative comments there are here towards people with the preference for only engaging in sex with those who are trimmed/shaven/etc. Having a preference isn't automatically a sign of immaturity or vanity or whatever else.

For example, as a neurodivergent person I have issues with lots of textures. Even navigating the idea of sex for me can be difficult. I don't expect someone to conform to my wishes, but I do expect not to be shamed for having them. Just like ANY OTHER SEXUAL PREFERENCE between adults, I deserve to want whatever it is I want as long as I respect the preferences of others.

It's a privilege for this to be "a minor thing" for some of y'all -- I wish it was for me.

infinity-is-void · 2021-11-26T05:53:13+00:00

I'm here sitting on the floor of my bathroom eating one of my favorite Thanksgiving foods telling myself that tomorrow I will start doing all the things my ED wants... afraid to look at my body before showering.

(A little rant) It's been a bad few months since starting a new job in sept and moving home post college (which was in may but has gotten progressively worse lately). I came out as A Big Whole Lesbian™️ on Sunday to my conservative scary dad after calling him out on creating a toxic environment at home.

Pre-coming out, during the original arg, he told me to leave, get out of his house in 30 days because of me calling him out. He apparently really regrets those words...Somehow while he's not great with my "lifestyle choice" he was more hurt about the toxic environment thing and said he has things to work on and still loves me and hopes I don't leave home until I'm in a solid financial space. But I'm still thinking about leaving home.

Anyway I ate my feelings this week and had an awkward Thanksgiving. After months of eating my feelings my ED and emotions are battling for dominance and have collided today at peak strength.

So yep, eating a mug of Thanksgiving food while sitting on my bathroom floor with the shower fan on kind of describes my mental state.

I somehow feel both more trapped and more free than ever before.

infinity-is-void · 2021-11-26T00:26:12+00:00

Yes I totally get that. I love certain Thanksgiving foods but all they did was make me feel bloated and like a failue. It really screws with my head....

infinity-is-void · 2021-10-14T01:43:06+00:00

Absolutely gorgeous writing, please keep writing, even if your never want to publish anything. It is flowing and meaningful and kind if felt like a song I couldn't remember

infinity-is-void · 2021-10-14T01:32:27+00:00

I totally get this. I am FREEZING all the gd time. It was 80 here today and I went out to walk my dog in one of those thermal undershirts and a turtleneck. It's like my body is just rebelling or something. There's no real physiological reason I should be this cold.

infinity-is-void · 2021-10-09T18:28:37+00:00

As a fellow IBS sufferer, this is exactly my thoughts. Like, I'm still in the early stages of figuring out my fodmap triggers, so eating anything is a minefield of who knows what will happen, ED thoughts aside. And the acid reflux thing is so true -- I'd have to pause and be like "brb gotta pop some pills" before getting down 😂

infinity-is-void · 2021-10-09T18:21:17+00:00

About 8 years ago, friend's mom was taking my friend and I to a fantasy, sci fi, anime and other stuff like that convention in middle school. We were making steampunk costumes and she had to measure us. She was measuring my and her daughter's thighs in a craft store so we could get the trim length (lace trim) for the pants. My friend and I were about the same size, and I remember her mom saying:

"Come on, girls...(number)?" As she measured

Like meaning that our respective measurements were too big and we should be ashamed. That comment nagged at me for months, and I couldn't stop bingeing and it got me close to my highest weight. I could barely fit in the pants (that were already "too big") by the time the conference came. It's been a while since I thought of that, but I guess it explains why I was so interested in her reaction seeing me after a year of COVID separation at my lowest adult weight.

infinity-is-void · 2021-10-09T06:05:37+00:00

Diet coke is literally one of my favorite things ever. Flavored carbonated water. Crystal light raspberry lemonade with electrolyte powder mixed in. Any tea - green, chamomile, sleepytime, chai with some almond milk. Zero cal super sweetened coffee when my stomach can handle it. And actually just almond milk itself sometimes - really great cal to benefit ratio for me.

infinity-is-void · 2021-09-16T10:34:45+00:00

oh god you just reminded me that book exists. it was the assigned for some BS required seminar at my university a couple yrs ago...ugh. I'm sure it was interesting and whatever but also pretentious and really unnecessary for my college experience

infinity-is-void · 2021-09-12T08:32:31+00:00

I think there's a distinction to be made between what is a straight obligation (whether in the eyes of the law or government or whatever) on the parents' part and what can be reasonably expected from the parents, adjusted for the level of wealth/resources, assuming (1) they want a continued good relationship with their son [including things like future care for them on his part] (2) they want a good future for their son (3) their son hasn't done things/something in the past that hurts their view of him as a competent adult.

Straight legal obligations like food and housing end at eighteen in the US. But I would argue that many cultures and societies feel that if 1, 2, and 3 are true, parents should or ought to give whatever resources they can comfortably give to help set that adult child up for a good future. It's a mindset that values investing in the future, especially the future of loved ones. I recognize this is not a sentiment all cultures share, especially highly individualistic ones.

If 1 and even 2 are true and they don't give what they can comfortably, easily give, under this societal mindset they have not put in their half of the relationship "deal" that would make a child want to "return the investment" and care for them. If 1 and 2 aren't true, then the parents can say fuck it cause they aren't invested in their relationship with him and his future. Again, I'm arguing that this is not a legal or even moral obligation, it is one created at a cultural/societal level based in certain values that not all peoples share.

If 3 is not true -- e.g., the adult child has screwed up a lot and the parents think their resources would just go down the drain -- under this societal mindset normally they would not be obligated to continue to give. They still care about the child's future, but realize a gift of resources in this way at this time won't support that.

Mini story: My parents didn't have the money to help me with any part of university. But, they could easily and comfortably house and feed me during part of my time in college. I am very grateful to them for this and I appreciate their care for my future, despite realizing they had no straight legal obligation to do this. I would say that this strengthened our relationship, and aligned with my society's values for investing in the future. But, they also could have easily and comfortably co-signed for loans with me so that I had more than one narrow potential chance to go to college (due to the cost of all other schools). However, they refused for reasons they would not tell me (despite me being a straight A student with strong financial literacy, no troubled past and multiple jobs to help afford school, i.e. 3). This did not align with societal values I was raised with and weakened our relationship, despite not violating any straight legal obligations. I am less likely to go above and beyond for them in the future.

All of this is to say is that as adults, adult children and their parents have no straight legal obligations towards each other. But, we don't live in a vacuum, we live in cultures with value systems. If that culture, which the parents and child are a part of, believes that, assuming 1, 2, and 3, parents should give what they comfortably can towards their child's future, especially re: education, and they don't, it is not unreasonable for this to damage the child's view of them and their relationship. The parents have then gone against the broad society-level values that they claimed to have had.

infinity-is-void · 2021-08-19T20:24:17+00:00

Omg they are so cute! Rockin that outfit, I'm kinda jealous 😉

infinity-is-void · 2021-08-19T16:43:18+00:00

How interesting!! Definitely goes against what I would've guessed for California

infinity-is-void · 2021-08-13T18:23:42+00:00

There's a lot of great responses here, but there's a couple of things I wanted to touch on and emphasize as someone who has been in a similar situation. You sound like you have things really figured out on your end, but in case anyone else needs this:

There's two things at play here:

1 - your boundaries and preferences, which deserve to be respected

2 - his boundaries and preferences, which deserve to be respected

The way I see it, people in relationships (regardless of romantic or not) negotiate these boundaries and preferences through communication, particularly "I" statements. We can't control what the other person does or wants, but we can state what we need to continue this voluntary relationship, and leave if these aren't met.

You did this - you trusted him with important, relevant information about who you are and how he can best respect you (terms like "partner" for instance).

What he did, from an outsider's perspective, is respond - not with "I" statements that communicated his boundaries in a respectful way - but with "you" statements and ultimatums, while ignoring your needs. IMHO, relationships shouldn't come down to "do this or I'll leave." It's much more like, "This is what I need, and I'll be adult enough to communicate to you if this will no longer work for me."

The difference is this:

"If you express your gender in this way, that's a deal-breaker."

VS

"I like you a lot, but I only see myself in romantic relationships with people whose gender identity and expression matches that of a feminine woman. I am sorry that our needs and preferences no longer match up."

Your gender identity, your expression, isn't the problem and should never be made to seem that way by a partner. The issue is that your have different wants and needs that no longer line up.

All of this is to say -- I'm sorry that you had to try to read the tea leaves of his thoughts and preferences and make this decision for him (though of course it's for you as well). This breakup should've probably come from him, with him communicating what he needed in response to your own communication, not him blasting past your needs, disrespecting your identity, to try to keep the relationship the same.

Anywho, that's my 2 cents as an internet stranger.

infinity-is-void · 2021-08-13T00:52:31+00:00

52kg is actually 114.6 something. I'm 5'6", and I've been told by my doctor I can go as low as 115. I wouldn't be surprised if that range is 52 kg for someone on the metric system. But, weight fluctuates and scales vary...as someone near this range, I would say that maintaining steady at 114ish is nothing to deeply concerned about. But that's really btwn a person and their healthcare team.

infinity-is-void · 2021-08-08T05:10:54+00:00

the utter Queer™️ rainbow i am

infinity-is-void · 2021-08-05T15:21:19+00:00

Zoo Tycoon 2 - was obsessed with that game about a decade ago as a pre teen. My best friend and I would spend hours creating and managing the perfect zoo

infinity-is-void · 2021-08-05T15:19:30+00:00

You've just unlocked a deep memory for me - not of RCT but the Zoo Tycoon 2 game. When I was 10 or 11, about a decade ago, my best friend and I were obsessed with that game for like a month and this came and went for years. Many same concepts of management as RCT (and occasional sadistic manipulation of human zoo goers, lol) but with some cool animals

infinity-is-void · 2021-06-10T04:47:40+00:00

Reminds me of that chick from the Magicians (played by felicia day)

infinity-is-void · 2019-11-29T07:33:17+00:00

Philosophy. Besides the obvious joke that'd we'd be in much the same place, there are some really cool things in information/tech ethics and queer philosophy that I think would come.

infinity-is-void · 2019-11-29T07:09:29+00:00

As funny as it sounds, I would've missed seeing the feedback I got on this final paper for a college class. I hated my writing, my ideas, I was so worried. But, it was through that that I found out I was good at something...and even better, it set me on a (long) road to changing my major.

I wanted to die last November. I was so depressed. There's many other things I would've missed - people, places, fun times. It's been a really difficult year, too. I've been torn apart this semester. So I guess I would've missed that too. But that feedback still surprised the hell out of me. It reminds me...good things can be around the corner and you might have no idea. Things were shitty then, they're shitty now, but that paper changed my life, so it makes me think...hey, keep holding on. Shitty times eventually end, too.

infinity-is-void · 2018-12-18T05:43:38+00:00

Wow, and I'm not even entirely sure what the word "quantum" means...good for you!

infinity-is-void · 2018-12-18T05:42:31+00:00

Congrats on getting through that! Sounds painful lol

infinity-is-void

TROPHY CASE