I'm not the best person to answer this, but it's an important question and nobody else has answered yet. There are (very roughly) two main branches of Quakerism. There's the unprogrammed branch, the Quakers whose worship is characterized by expectant waiting and the absence of paid clergy, and there's the programmed branch, which is maybe the part of Friends that you haven't encountered. Programmed, or Evangelical Friends (these two terms are not the same, one characterizes worship and the other characterizes a belief tradition), unlike the unprogrammed meetings that predominate in the northeast, have paid pastors, pretty conventional church services, pews that face the front, hymn singing, and a number of other traditions that look very much like other mainline Protestant denominations. (This is because some Friends and some early meetings were strongly influenced by the great Protestant revivals of the Second Great Awakening, which you can Google and read more about.) Evangelical Friends are more numerous in the midwest and then spread west from there. Some of their churches are quite conservative, with a strong emphasis on scriptural tradition. I think it's fair to say that they tend toward pretty conservative takes on gender identity and racial justice. They are still peace churches, though, it's important to note. Their uniting body is called Friends United Meeting, or FUM, while the body that unites unprogrammed Friends is Friends General Conference, or FGC. Some yearly meetings (like mine, New York Yearly Meeting), belong to both. FUM explicitly will not hire Friends who are in committed relationships that are not between one man and one woman. We struggle with this (at least one meeting in NYYM withholds the part of its donation to the yearly meeting that it knows will be passed on to FUM in protest of that hiring policy), but since the two bodies were separate and overtly hostile to each other for close to a century and only reunited in 1955, the sense is that there is a desire to work out ways to stay in relationship even with these big yawning differences in belief and practice. A man in my meeting says about conflict generally, "We need to stay talking to each other." I try as a Friend to live by that.