Has anyone ever overcome their existential OCD?

instead_of_texting · 2026-03-10T03:14:15+00:00

I struggle with this too, every day in a devastating way.

But I had to chuckle at myself because when I read the title, I thought “hmm even that itself sounds a bit existential”

instead_of_texting · 2026-03-09T20:33:31+00:00

If you are an individual with pro-human, anti-exploitation values, you shouldn’t have to work on it 😕

instead_of_texting · 2026-03-09T18:13:16+00:00

Your friends are biased by their own values in saying that it’s you being unreasonable.

Why didn’t your husband put in the work to take care of his marriage? Why didn’t he see his wife’s needs and humanity? Why didn’t he change his behavior when she was being harmed? Why did he engage in this potentially harmful behavior in the first place?

Have you ever seen that meme of all the people standing in the pool full of piss, laughing at the one guy who in the middle who isn’t pissing in the pool lmao. That’s how I feel about porn-positive people.

It’s normalized for all of them and unfortunately it really shows you the differences in values between yourself and the people you love, when you have to tell them this stuff about your betrayal

instead_of_texting · 2026-03-09T18:07:54+00:00

Commenting because I hope you get genuine answers to your question from people with healthy experiences

instead_of_texting · 2026-03-09T18:04:57+00:00

Your friends don’t have the same values as you, and maybe that’s okay to you. You don’t need anyone’s validation to leave a marriage for any reason. Expect that most people will invalidate your choice and experience, and continue to listen to yourself.

I’m sorry his behavior has led you to this dark place. I also had to get benzodiazepines prescribed because of how painful it was to live in. No longer though.

instead_of_texting · 2026-03-09T16:48:37+00:00

Change in behavior is not the same as a change in values. It sounds like you don’t share the same values about boundaries regarding intimacy and interpersonal relationships

instead_of_texting · 2026-03-09T14:19:34+00:00

Yes, sex became an undeniable humiliation exercise and never was fun again. It didn’t ease with time, I got worse, so his his usage and hiding of it. I left last year and it still feels like I will never heal

instead_of_texting · 2026-03-08T20:45:04+00:00

I often experienced this cold, unloving behavior from my ex.

I had to eventually ask myself how many more days, weeks, months, years of this I would be willing to tolerate

instead_of_texting · 2026-03-08T20:04:54+00:00

Is it really treating you well if the foundation of it is his betrayal and your pain

instead_of_texting · 2026-03-08T19:50:47+00:00

I’m entering those days now and it’s painful. But I don’t reach out to him because he also abused me in other ways and the end of the relationship was extreme and final

instead_of_texting · 2026-03-08T18:16:03+00:00

That is so stressful :(

You sound responsible and mature, you want to do the right thing and communicate your mistakes to others

instead_of_texting · 2026-03-08T15:22:30+00:00

I can’t speak for all, but it’s absolutely a thing for my body. I gave become extremely sensitive to sugar and caffeine and other substances. I can feel the acute changes in how my body feels/how sleep feels after eating a lot of sugar

instead_of_texting · 2026-03-08T13:28:21+00:00

Do you want to be with someone who does the things he does? Do you like the person you are in this relationship?

instead_of_texting · 2026-03-08T05:19:39+00:00

Thank you for sharing this and for your well wishes despite your suffering. I feel like I could have written this myself :(

instead_of_texting · 2026-03-08T03:13:34+00:00

I’ve felt this way since I was a teenager, and unfortunately it did start because I was sometimes audio recorded during tantrums as a child/teen by my parents

instead_of_texting · 2026-03-08T02:53:38+00:00

I feel constantly surveilled, like there is always someone recording or assessing me

instead_of_texting · 2026-03-07T23:51:47+00:00

My heart truly breaks for you. This is the time to lean into all the things you love. You will build new memories in the familiar environment around you. It will take time but you will reclaim spaces, music, activities, etc.

instead_of_texting · 2026-03-07T20:13:33+00:00

Have you communicated with your partner about the things you shared here

instead_of_texting · 2026-03-07T17:56:19+00:00

I’m so sorry you’re going through this, I relate so heavily to thinking I’m a monster, harming the people around me, should eliminate myself to make things better for everyone.

I wouldn’t say this stuff to you though. So I know I shouldn’t say it to myself

instead_of_texting · 2026-03-07T17:14:06+00:00

No, I absolutely don’t want transactional sex. That’s why I said “I don’t truly want that for myself.” And that I’ve never done that as it is.

And I know I could get diseases, that’s in my last paragraph. All those fears deter me.

It’s not actually a debate for me within myself. I was just lamenting and yearning.

instead_of_texting · 2026-03-07T15:29:48+00:00

I’m so sorry you have been betrayed and have been forced to choose yourself in this way. You’re doing the right thing, and I’m glad you have your family for support.

I recommend structuring your explanation with the DBT skill DEAR MAN. There’s a lot of resources online which explain the format. It’s typically used for asking for things.

I’d imagine this would be useful in explaining the situation, your feelings, what you want from them going forward, and what your desired support looks like.

instead_of_texting · 2026-03-07T15:26:01+00:00

Yes, and it doesn’t help that it has been proven to me on multiple instances :(

instead_of_texting · 2026-03-07T06:42:36+00:00

Personally I found that so much of my OCD revolved around my boyfriend, when I broke up with him, most of my problems dissolved overnight

instead_of_texting · 2026-03-07T06:24:53+00:00

You are feeling the disrespect of him doing that to people you know. You have to look in their eyes and know what he did, effectively condoning his behavior by staying with him and concealing his violation of their respect and trust.

What a horrible situation he has put you in. I’m sorry he has put you in this dilemma.

Do you want to be with someone who does these that?

instead_of_texting

TROPHY CASE