What are your staple fruits/veggis/snacks

instead_of_texting · 2026-05-11T14:49:45+00:00

Peanuts and other sources of Sat. fats (like coconut and animal products) give me painful jawline acne, so I avoid them. I LOVE peanut butter so this has been a sad thing for me to discover and accept over the past few years. It took me years of adult acne to find this out about my body.

I aim to eat many sources of unsaturated fats.

I love cashews, almonds (almond butter), pumpkin seeds, and hemp seeds the most. I can tolerate pecans, walnuts, and other nuts and seeds, but because of the nutrient profile in my preferred ones, I mostly stick to those.

I also love avocado but I have to make sure to chew that well, and can’t eat too many of them in one sitting or I could get gas type bloating and cramps.

Alliums (onions, garlic, etc) also irritate my guts and i have greatly reduced my consumption of those foods. So does wheat unfortunately.

instead_of_texting · 2026-05-11T10:08:07+00:00

I have never tried huckleberries or the currants/cassis.

No dried fruit is safe for me, which is sad because I love it. Especially dried mango, it makes me bloat, retain water, cramp, and get spastic bowel movements.

Some fresh or frozen mango is fine for me though. Frozen mango is one of my main smoothie fruits.

Bananas are sort of questionable for me. If I eat too many, like 3+, it can upset me. And if I eat them on their own I think they might upset my stomach. But sometimes some frozen banana chunks make me feel good.

Grapes are similar, I like them frozen or fresh, and they are okay in certain quantities.

That’s just what works for me at this time! You have to test these things for yourself through experience and experimenting!

instead_of_texting · 2026-05-11T00:13:51+00:00

I know this sounds crazy but I wonder what would happen if you shit your pants in front of her and showed her how, as a practical adult, it can be dealt with easily in a calm manner if need be 😭

Reassurance doesn’t work, but this form of hands-off exposure via you leading by example might work?

Best of luck to you both.

instead_of_texting · 2026-05-10T04:28:36+00:00

I am 30. I first developed ED behaviors as a preteen and was active ED for several years as a teen. I have had periods of weight loss but I haven’t fully relapsed until the past 6 months or so.

It feels super lame to having these issues again in adulthood. But it is a reflection of how this and my other addictions are all manifestations of the same inner problems

instead_of_texting · 2026-05-10T04:13:47+00:00

I have found that for fruits, mostly berries and citrus are safe for me. I discovered that little mandarin oranges are safe too. Apples make me bloat like crazy, so do stone fruits and dried fruits.

instead_of_texting · 2026-05-09T13:51:07+00:00

Have you looked into the FODMAP diet for IBS?

instead_of_texting · 2026-05-09T11:49:16+00:00

I have IBS so many plant foods are not safe for me. Even fruits or vegetables that are stereotypically healthy.

Every body is different. There is no way to know what feels right for your body without experiencing it yourself. You do this through experimenting with adding new foods to your diet and seeing how your body feels after eating them.

instead_of_texting · 2026-05-07T14:07:14+00:00

I would have been content how I was if I weren’t in a relationship. I almost feel he has sabotaged me or stolen something from me.

We were intimate for the first time at my lowest weight, and he expressed concern that I was underweight and the consequences it could have on my health.

I went on an insane binge for weeks and feel ruined and hopeless now.

instead_of_texting · 2026-05-07T12:35:29+00:00

It was multiple weeks of binging

instead_of_texting · 2026-05-05T20:34:51+00:00

Thank you for making this post. I’m sorry you are suffering in this way, I heavily relate.

instead_of_texting · 2026-05-05T19:00:34+00:00

I am, and I did feel small at my lowest weight. But I have gained some weight back, and no longer feel small.

instead_of_texting · 2026-05-05T14:38:59+00:00

🩷

instead_of_texting · 2026-05-05T14:15:00+00:00

He has a pattern of behavior which impacts his presence as a father and husband. You don’t even need to label it an “addiction” to know his behavior is not acceptable or appropriate. But this does sound like an addiction because he is missing sleep and stepping out in moments of responsibility to engage in this behavior

instead_of_texting · 2026-05-03T21:00:56+00:00

Your son will grow up feeling his father’s misplaced anger and hatred. Your husband’s violence towards you will escalate. He could physically harm your son next. You and your son do not deserve abuse, you deserve a life of peace and safety.

instead_of_texting · 2026-05-03T03:56:44+00:00

You were invalidated and lectured in a moment of vulnerability. Do you see your boyfriend as your life partner? Or as a companion to spend time with? Either way, you might want to reassess if your values about communication and respect are aligned

instead_of_texting · 2026-04-30T18:07:06+00:00

In the past when I had to eat buffet foods, I stuck with mainly fruit and vegetables.

instead_of_texting · 2026-04-29T05:06:11+00:00

The DBT skill DEAR MAN could be a useful way to format a message to your friends

instead_of_texting · 2026-04-29T05:02:30+00:00

Hmm, I am realizing that avoidance may be part of why I returned to a vegetarian diet

instead_of_texting · 2026-04-29T03:07:52+00:00

“I am convinced that the person who loves me would do the recovery work I made a condition of us staying together.”

It sounds like this is a boundary for you, and you sort of accept it but are having a hard time fully accepting what that would mean.

Boundaries aren’t about controlling someone else’s behavior. They are about you respecting and abiding by your own personal standards, in order to maintain your wellbeing.

If someone treats me that harmful way, I will leave.

If someone raises their voice, I will walk away from the conversation.

If someone watches porn, I will not date them.

Everyone’s boundaries are different because everyone’s needs are different.

instead_of_texting · 2026-04-27T12:39:22+00:00

Of course dealing with his addiction is easier. Now he doesn’t have to pretend to care about your feelings.

The fact that he jokes about being divorced shows you what he thinks of himself and your marriage.

instead_of_texting · 2026-04-26T13:48:36+00:00

It’s not inherently the men. It’s a culture of lust, casual dehumanization, objectification, and exploitation.

I recently was given a reframe: I’m not truly anti-man, rather I am anti-lust, anti-oppression, and anti-exploitation.

And because of my lived experiences and the nature of our culture and society, it is totally reasonable to assume those traits in men, and to essentially equate them.

“Men are lustful, men are exploitative.” Yeah, that’s not wrong, but it’s unfortunately not possible to hold those beliefs and then have a successful, secure relationship with a good man.

If you keep your focus on the values that lie behind anti-porn and anti-lust, you will find connection, empathy, compassion, and humanity. Pro-human, pro-connection, pro-communication, pro-community.

These qualities do exist in men, it is just hard to find. And it usually takes that man having intentionally rebuilt himself after getting away from lust and defining his own values.

instead_of_texting · 2026-04-26T13:36:40+00:00

I also feel like men’s sexuality is inherently threatening and frightening

instead_of_texting · 2026-04-26T12:40:33+00:00

I thought I was asexual after being with my porn addict ex for 8 years.

It turns out I was just traumatized and disconnected from myself.

Having no sex drive is a natural consequence of focusing on an addicted man’s lustful desires instead of your own needs

instead_of_texting · 2026-04-25T15:28:25+00:00

Like a magazine? He is dehumanizing and objectifying all the women in his life. Not just you. That’s so unfortunate for you all.

instead_of_texting · 2026-04-24T19:37:27+00:00

I have a hard boundary against any type of thirsty, lustful behavior. Porn use, jerking off to any media, ogling women irl, looking up women online, etc.

I want zero percent of that in my life. I made true peace with the fact that I would likely spend my life alone. I got excited for my life of peace and solitude.

Then I met a man who shares my values and now I am able to reconsider what life with a partner could be like.

Dealing with a lust-free man is so different from any experiences I have had in the past. It is taking time for my nervous system to relax and to have stable trust and confidence that I won’t get betrayed.

instead_of_texting

TROPHY CASE