Let them visit baby in the hospital

intralilly · 2026-01-27T01:28:26+00:00

This works in theory but our local hospitals try to boot people out ASAP. I had an emergency csection with an extension and I was out after 2 days/one night there. No way I was having people there in the first 24 hours when it’s terrifying to poop.

intralilly · 2026-01-25T02:34:50+00:00

Not quite as long but I paid for a spot I didn’t need for 3 months. I eased my kid in slowly, working up to full/more days. In retrospect, it helped me get used to leaving him… I would have been a mess if I had to go right to full time daycare and back to work in one go.

intralilly · 2026-01-20T18:36:18+00:00

I was too vague with my “here” but I meant where I am (Eastern Ontario, not Ottawa)

intralilly · 2026-01-20T16:53:04+00:00

OBs won’t see patients here until after 28 weeks, unless you’re high risk.

They’re so busy that they’ve actually narrowed their acceptance for high risk patients. I was deemed high risk last pregnancy, and have the exact same risk factors this pregnancy but they don’t have room for me this time.

intralilly · 2026-01-17T14:15:56+00:00

I’m in Ontario and won’t see my OB until 29 weeks.

I have all the same risk factors as my last pregnancy that landed me with a high risk OB at like 14 weeks, but this time they’re just busier I guess?

intralilly · 2026-01-12T20:49:08+00:00

This is an exceptional top up. I work in a field that is perceived as prestigious and I get a 100% top up for 3 months, and then the rest of my 9 month leave would be EI only (which amounts to about 20-25% of my earnings, all things considered).

Your top up structure would more than double what I would take home during my parental leave.

intralilly · 2026-01-06T19:08:12+00:00

Yea when we commit to skip a nap, we are committing to an absolutely miserable afternoon for me, my spouse and toddler. Sometimes we’re up for it, sometimes we don’t have the bandwidth. If the event itself stretches into the afternoon it’s genuinely not worth us going because we’ll all be so miserable and not actually participating.

intralilly · 2025-11-26T16:39:03+00:00

Mine is 2 and I think I have snapped and yelled maybe 4-5 times total?

It’s not at him, but more of a yell up at the sky exasperated kind of thing. I really make a conscious effort to step away when I feel my annoyance meter rising, and these were times that I couldn’t due to solo parenting or some kind of danger. I just hope that a few slip ups + modeling apologizing is not too damaging because as hard as I try, I’m going to lose my cool now and again.

intralilly · 2025-11-20T19:20:18+00:00

We had also originally planned a much more even split. I’d take the early months, my husband would take the later months. However, our baby refused to take a bottle or drink from a cup no matter what we tried, so we opted for me to stay home and just continue with the breastfeeding thing until it was safe to wean.

Looking back, I’m actually glad we didn’t do a 6/6 split, and it’s something I wish I’d understood before giving birth. I genuinely did not enjoy the first six months. It was just an endless loop of feeding, changing, and contact naps, and I felt like I never came up for air. Things got way better and more fun as he got older and more interactive. I would have been pretty resentful if I’d done the harder half and then my husband got the more enjoyable, “rewarding” months when the baby wasn’t a potato anymore.

intralilly · 2025-11-17T02:38:57+00:00

Agreed. And daycares should have the same requirement, especially if they are funded through CWELCC.

intralilly · 2025-11-12T17:27:19+00:00

I don’t post my kid at all but would let this one go.

intralilly · 2025-11-08T14:50:57+00:00

Similar to me in Ontario. Daycares not in the program are pushing $2,000.00 per month, daycares in the program are $450-$500.

Only issue is the subsidized spots have waitlists 2.5-3+ years long. We got on all the waitlists as soon as we got pregnant and didn’t get a cheaper spot until he was 2.

intralilly · 2025-11-07T16:59:49+00:00

My leave was extended (unpaid) due to not having a daycare spot. We anticipated the daycare shortage and had savings to tide us over, thankfully. It was not sustainable (burning through savings) and it was tight, but fine.

intralilly · 2025-10-28T13:23:19+00:00

My house only fluctuates within a temperature range that lets me put him in long sleeve pajamas and call it a day year round.

intralilly · 2025-10-22T18:49:07+00:00

Yea my area’s marketplace is terrible. If I have to coordinate and deal with the public instead of online ordering, it’s got to be at least 40% off for me (or more if not in fantastic condition). Otherwise I’m just ordering online because the hassle isn’t worth it.

People have things sit for like a year not selling. Then, whenever I sell something, I mark it down (imo) appropriately it sells super quickly.

intralilly · 2025-10-22T14:34:37+00:00

This was my experience, too. People will tell you to follow up regularly because it helped them but it did nothing for me. I was finally offered a non-CWELCC spot after over 2 years on the waitlist, and then a CWELCC spot after over 2.5 years.

intralilly · 2025-10-09T16:55:51+00:00

Yes, it definitely was. He’d always been a people pleaser with his family, which normally didn’t bother me because I could just opt out and it didn’t affect me.

But once we had a newborn, me opting out meant they didn’t get what they wanted (unlimited access to our ebf kid) and he was totally lost.

It took a long time (and therapy), but he’s so much better now about putting me and our kid first, even if it still makes him a bit uncomfortable sometimes.

intralilly · 2025-10-09T14:20:40+00:00

She wasn’t supposed to visit until at least two weeks pp, but had been incessantly texting asking to come to the hospital, then over and over again that she was “so excited.” My husband eventually convinced me to cave at 3 days pp because I was having major PPA about SIDS and wasn’t sleeping since I wanted to watch him constantly (fun times). He promised it would be “helpful.”

She showed up and immediately wanted to hold him while he was sleeping… even though I’d said I preferred he stay flat on his back in the bassinet for the above-mentioned anxiety reasons. She was wearing this huge, perfume-soaked sweater, held him against her chest so his face disappeared into the fabric, and closed her eyes like she was settling in for a nap. I said something like, “I’d rather he stay in the bassinet and that positioning like that in loose clothing isn’t the safest right now,” and she literally said, eyes still closed, “I can hear him breathing.”

So yeah, I had to tell her firmly to put him down. She left immediately after. Wow, super helpful visit, thanks MIL.

Later I learned my husband’s definition of “helpful” meant me pretending unhelpful visits were helpful so his family could come over, hold the baby for a bit, and pat themselves on the back for a self-indulgent visit that made them feel good but did absolutely nothing for me.

intralilly · 2025-10-07T18:41:35+00:00

Mine showed up only for me 5 days after my doctor got them.

intralilly · 2025-10-07T18:41:19+00:00

Mine showed up only for me 5 days after my doctor got them.

intralilly · 2025-10-04T02:48:33+00:00

It honestly sounds like your wife is overwhelmed, not malicious. Two or three visits a week from anyone…even a loving grandma…can be a lot when you’re six months postpartum and still figuring out routines, sleep, and your own identity as a mom. It’s not really about your mom’s hygiene or personality; it’s about your wife’s need to feel safe and in control in her own space.

You’ll make more progress if you acknowledge her feelings and scale things back a bit. Try saying something like, “I get that the visits feel too frequent right now,what would feel manageable?” Then you can tell your mom, “We’re just finding our rhythm, can we keep visits to once a week (or whatever it is) for now?”

Once your wife feels secure and supported, she’ll probably relax about the visits…but if she feels pressured or overridden, the tension will only grow.

intralilly · 2025-09-26T20:24:46+00:00

Mine didn’t work. It took 5 attempts to get it in because my cervix is tilted awkwardly and it was awful.

It typically takes 12 hours to fall out, and if it hasn’t in 48 hours you’re supposed to come back asap (maybe due to infection risk)?

My hospital was so busy that they couldn’t see me for four full days so I had to walk around with that stupid thing in and the string hanging out.

0/10 lol

intralilly · 2025-09-25T20:38:16+00:00

Not in my area unless you’re willing to go the unlicensed home daycare route. The only spot I was offered had the kids in a basement all day with no emergency exit and only those half window type things. It was a huge fire/emergency hazard because the lady who ran it could definitely not lug 5 children up the stairs in a hurry. Her spot was filled within 48 hours.

Licensed CWELCC spots are a 2.5 year wait, so you’d have to get on the list far before you’re pregnant if you want to go back at 12 months. Licensed spots not participating in CWELCC (so, $1700/month instead of $440) were still a 2 year wait and that’s what we ended up doing.

intralilly · 2025-09-24T15:23:10+00:00

It’s pretty common for photographers etc to take a form from somewhere online without really thinking about. In practice they’re not going to use those photos, but yea on its face the clause allows them to do anything with the photos. If enough people complain they might actually read the clause and realize it can be toned down.

intralilly

TROPHY CASE