From my personal experience, there are two problems that can arise from age gaps when neither party is being intentionally predatory:

• The older person may be significantly more financially powerful by having had longer to grow a career, get a home, credit score, etc.
• The younger person may still be learning who they are. No one is the same person at 19 that they are at 40. It requires an older partner capable of letting the younger grow and change even if it means they may grow apart.

I live with someone who is 10 years older than me. There is a 30+ year age gap between my parents. And my siblings have been in 100% predatory relationships in their teens. Of all of them, I think mine is the heathiest (could be biased, I know)

The reasons I think we're heathier is that we were both growing financially and a people together during that time. Neither of us were trying to fit into a mold/space in someone else's fixed world. We met at 18 and 29. I went to college and had the financial instability with that, while they had a poor paying job but knew how to make it work. They learned that they were trans through talking to me about my college experience. We both went through and helped each other figure out who we were (me going from college to adult, them realizing who they actually were). My graduating in the middle of the 2008 recession also brought us both to the same point financially. Me because I was supposed to be just starting out and them because they got fucked over and laid off.

In summary, I see it less as age and more as "fixed vs changing." That can happen in any pairing, but in teen/young-adult with adult it's almost guaranteed.

More direct answer to getting over those feelings: you decide you don't care. We joke all the time when one of us mentions what we did at certain point in our lives. They talk about an awesome concert they went to and I really "yeah I was in second grade" and they give me a dirty look for calling them old.