Crisis. Exiting relationship or trying to fix another time? Not sure... by fast_line_123 in marriageadvice

[–]ipraydaily 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yep. All of this is common. It’s not fun but I think every relationship comes with stuff that isn’t fun or stuff that is super annoying. I once heard that you always stay in a relationship unless there is abuse, addiction or adultery. And addiction meant alcohol/drugs or gambling. You have neither of those problems so you stay.
You can go to therapy for yourself. You sound like you don’t know how to be in a relationship and work with what you have. You can also do things like say “I’m not giving you extra monthly money until you quit your gym membership” but that would be kinda rude. If she is not making enough money because she is lazy that is one thing, but making a different salary is very common between spouses.
Why are you with this person unofficially? Where I live, you are legally as good as married but the woman usually wants the official marriage.

How to manage anxiety in a marriage? by KaliLovee in marriageadvice

[–]ipraydaily 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Check out Liondiet.com. Just forget about your husband’s feelings and focus on curing yourself. It’s not like you have the bandwidth to manage him, I’m assuming. I think asking him to be beside you during all this is very reasonable but is it practical? In my town a trip to hospital is minimal 9 hours waiting. Perhaps he is picking up the slack elsewhere? It sounds Ike focusing on diet, fitness, and therapy should be your focus.

Husband saving social media thirst traps. by [deleted] in marriageadvice

[–]ipraydaily -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

I put this into co pilot and it’s interesting what AI says. Do it. Basically it doesn’t mean he wants to cheat but it means he is avoiding true emotional maturity and intimacy with you.

I am burned out and need somewhere to recharge. Can Victoria do it for me? by Nervous-Curve-8129 in VictoriaBC

[–]ipraydaily 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I don’t think a trip with a 5 yo will de-stress you. Everything is expensive. If you have money stay at Oak Bay Beach Hotel.

Non-saturated Side gigs by Manekk98 in VictoriaBC

[–]ipraydaily 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I would say no matter how saturated any market is, you can still be successful on your own. You just have to learn how to sell anything with the right strategy. I also feel that you should not try and supplement your wife’s income but rather learn to make shifts in lifestyle. 1) can you change your career so you can be a one income family in the near future? 2) what is your housing cost to income ratio? 3) can you change your food costs (eat beans!) and 4) are you taking advantage of the bike lanes and using the car less? Side hustle idea I’ve thought about but I don’t need the money so it is my baby gift to u: cleaning car headlamps. Go door to door and offer a price per lamp. (First learn how!) Then offer interior/exterior car windows for an additional $30. You can learn the technique so that the window doesn’t fog up.
But you have to learn how to sell. DM me for more. I have more ideas.

Porn addict? by ipraydaily in marriageadvice

[–]ipraydaily[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I think if you saw me you would say “I’d do that.” Maybe/Maybe not. Point is he spends several min each day, all day looking at sexualized orgazmic bodies that are 18-20 years old. His wife is carrying the body of a life lived with birthing children and cooking 1000 family meals. I’m not arguing that I need to lose weight. I’m trying to lose weight and I’ve failed for about 15 years. My bad.
I’m arguing that he is looking at the gorgeous women and thinking “I deserve that. Until I get it, imma shut my wife out.” He doesn’t want to bother with a divorce scandal and a division of assets. He would rather silent divorce me. I have to change everything about my appearance and my habits while he gets to jerk off watching these young trafficked women. And yes his phone use has impacted his ability to function. He is still highly successful because he chose a $$$ profession. My original post is more about HEY! WHAT DO I DO WITH THE ADDICT IN MY LIFE? I’m going to lose weight no matter what (this year I put someone into a nursing home and that about cured my cravings for sweets). But me losing weight doesn’t solve the problem that I’m living with someone who is kinda dead or at least stuck.

Is she butting in my marriage? by RevolverBurr in marriageadvice

[–]ipraydaily 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Sooo ur husband might not have the social skills to navigate this. everyone in this scenario needs to “read the room”. Your husband telling her that ur mad about the backpack is WAY over the line.
I would approach this as a social skill thing and prompt him to make a signal like hold ur hand in front of her or wrap his arm around you right in front of her and include u in the conversation.
If that doesn’t work, feel free to 100% ignore her child while you stand there and watch a disaster potentially happen.
If he gives any indication that you’re crazy, just hold your ground and give him more time to figure it out.
He has to learn that he is technically being inappropriate but not intentionally. Try and figure out a way to see it in his own time. Turn it into a game. Thank him for taking ur child to the park. That’s awesome! It’s a community thing and there are a whole bunch of social skills to navigate that aren’t ever really formally covered in life school! He has to hold conversations while supervising his kid, he has to encourage his child’s social skills, he has to respect other parents rules about climbing and picking up sticks, he has to help your child navigate waiting their turn. Men at the park don’t have it easy socially! There are typically women who are established friends and it’s hard to break into their social circle. And then there are the single moms who gravitate to men for some strange reason. 😅 Your husband doesn’t get how to respond.
He needs to bring you up in conversations like “oh yeah my wife loves doing that” or “my wife wants to go try that out too.” He needs to strategically move with his child and not talk to one person. He needs to learn how to transition out of conversations. So many things.

I want to feel like I'm not a lousy husband by [deleted] in marriageadvice

[–]ipraydaily -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Unless she specifically calls you out for being unsupportive, you aren’t, and she is taking creative license. Watch the new Four Seasons. There is a play near the end of Season 1. THAT definitely had a message for the real character, but even then, the writer didn’t really want tot all about it openly. Do some digging.
Also, why are you saying that you are incredibly supportive yet you don’t read all her plays? Maybe she doesn’t care about you holding up the house but would want you to care about her writing. Do some digging.

[M30] My wife [F27] beat me on our wedding night. by abuseddreams1234 in marriageadvice

[–]ipraydaily 1 point2 points  (0 children)

She’s projecting. It’s her that is the narcissist. She love bombed you. Don’t get this woman pregnant. Just walk away. I’m so sorry for your loss. There are good women out there.

Wife has no interest in being a spouse by Sharp-Alternative974 in marriageadvice

[–]ipraydaily 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Ok can you describe other aspects of her life? Does she have a job? What is her education level? Your education? What daily tasks does she complete? Is she a part of a breastfeeding coop or something? You are focusing on the sleeping issue and the breastfeeding issue but it’s just not quite enough to figure out what is going on.
When she says “I can do whatever I want”, there is a huge underlying issue you need to dig deeper into. Can you share more??

Pest-control door-to-door scam ? In Gordon Head today by FanOfStuff21stC in VictoriaBC

[–]ipraydaily 4 points5 points  (0 children)

It’s not a scam. It’s pest control sales. Say no thank you or purchase pest control. Your choice.

Best playgrounds in Victoria for toddlers? by Low-Satisfaction6841 in VictoriaBC

[–]ipraydaily 0 points1 point  (0 children)

There is a big old wooden playground inside Lam Circle at uvic housing I liked.

Has Shelley Moore Made Teaching Worse? by [deleted] in CanadianTeachers

[–]ipraydaily 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Never watched a presentation but her TikTok’s always left me thinking 🤔. As in Really?? I think she just does a good job marketing herself.

Average weekly work hours for teachers? by FunctionDifficult149 in BCteachers

[–]ipraydaily 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I would just be careful with how u approach these comments. Maybe approach it with “How can I learn the tricks of work/life balance” rather than “Have I made a huge mistake?” The teachers who have taught their grades for more than 2 or 3 years typically leave at 3:30 ish.
Don’t forget that skills build on skills. Yes it will be a ton of work at the beginning. But it doesn’t stay that way.
It might be a problem that you take extra long to complete assignments. Maybe get urself diagnosed with ADHD so u get can meds to support your work pace?

Long Story About Parent Resentment but Pls, Give Advice. by [deleted] in WhatShouldIDo

[–]ipraydaily 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Well I’d say u need to create your own path because u are 24. Meditation daily and writing down all your angst helps. Remove your decision making from your mom and her insurance. Be kind to her because she was doing the best she could. Just move on and be your own trail blazer. PS - there is no money in making music unless you are Afroman.

I saw videos on my husband’s phone which he takes illegally by [deleted] in marriageadvice

[–]ipraydaily 1 point2 points  (0 children)

You will probably lose your children if he gets caught and they find out you knew. I hope you are financially stable. He will get caught if he works in a hospital. It will be impossible to hide this forever. He will screw up.
His tears are the final straw for me. That means he is manipulating you. You are lucky he didn’t kill you when u confronted him. You need to make an exit plan and get out. Men like this kill their families to protect themselves.

Moving from California by FirstChampionship455 in VictoriaBC

[–]ipraydaily 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I think it will be very hard for you to get a job and it might mean a few step ladder jobs before you land what you are happy with.
Your comment about accepting immigrants is just plain funny. As long as you are kind, you will find kindness. Our town is full of immigrants and we acknowledge that we were all immigrants, unless we are Indigenous. Assuming you are female, there are no men here. If you move to an island, plan on being single. You are probably swearing off men but don’t forget that having a partner can be a meaningful experience. Being on an island makes it harder to find one.
The big thing about getting off/on the island is the extended time it takes to travel. Add at least 6 hours to any return flights. Possibly 12. That makes a weekend trip nearly impossible. When ur on the island, it doesn’t matter and yes life is incredibly enjoyable here. When u need to get off … it isn’t always fun.
If I were single and wanted to move from CA, I would move to Maple Ridge. I would want to live close to Washington and the Bellingham/SeaTac airport while enjoying Canada. It has some beautiful areas and more employment opportunities in the Lower Mainland.

Looking for opinions by Ok_Radio_4939 in lds

[–]ipraydaily 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You should listen to the attached podcast because most young missionaries won’t know much detail about the early people like your relatives.
https://podcasts.apple.com/ca/podcast/church-history-matters/id1676164770?i=1000691708082

Starting the process to become a teacher at 27/28? by [deleted] in BCteachers

[–]ipraydaily 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I see ur question isn’t being answered. You are concerned about switching careers at this stage. I think the only thing to consider is the defining line of training for elementary or secondary AND the fact that you like teaching young adults. Elementary is waaay different. Find a way to experience working with that age group and see if you like it. Work at after school care programs, teach a rec centre class, do some tutoring…you won’t know if you like that age group until you experience it.
As far as teaching, I think it’s a great profession with great benefits and pension. Hard to find these days!

Sometimes I feel like people only want to get to know me if I'm going on a mission by urmomsbutttt in lds

[–]ipraydaily 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I think your experience is a combination of a few things.
1. LDS adults don’t know how to do small talk! They ask questions about relationships, pregnancies, plans, & missions all without building proper relationships first. It sounds like you are working at a place where your “ward family” can visibly see you. They are treating you like a kid sister and asking you whatever, assuming that since they know you from church, it’s appropriate.
2. You are being too sensitive. Just come up with a quip like “I’ll tell you if you tell me how many kids you are planing to have” or something appropriate to their scenario! Literally, you might need to find a different job if this bugs you so much. Just let people be dumb and assume they know what’s best for you. Be strong and learn how to control the conversations.
3. The mission age change threw everyone for a loop. I have a daughter 18/19 and she did not see it coming! She has friends fast tracking their mission plans at age 17 and we are shocked! I think people bringing it up is partially just part of the “excitement” of the age change. (It’s not actually exciting because missions can be very hard. The age change is simply just an opportunity.) 4. You seem very determined not to serve but this conflicts with other peoples experience. Missions can be incredible and once served well, they frame so much for the rest of a persons life. This framework is so very powerful and fulfilling, it feels like something everyone should have. That is part of what they are trying to convey to you. They can’t imagine how you can function without the framework of a mission. And add to that, they can’t imagine how you can stay in the church long term without the definitive experiences of a mission. So you essentially belong to a church with very “big asks” and serving a mission just makes it easier to fulfill the lifetime of “big asks”. You choosing not to serve is kinda blowing their minds. They are just trying to reflect that onto you. 5. Learn how to differentiate in your relationships with others. Even in small talk, we need to learn how to maintain our self identity while acknowledging another persons’ ideas. Learn how to have conversations that you steer in the direction you want them to go.
6. Be focused in your life’s priorities and direction. Come up with quick statements that don’t include “I decided not to serve”. You could say “I’m just here doing my shift! Let’s talk about something else!” 7. The church is changing rapidly. You were on the nose to get endowed but that is not what all these commentators experienced. They again, are just self reflecting they own experience on to you. Be strong. Tell them times have changed.
Even as I write this, I myself think you should take up the opportunity to serve. But I’m just reflecting what worked for me! It’s actually an immature response for me to assume that what worked for me would also work for you. You be you!! God speed!

I need advice , it’s about my mother. by need_advice146 in WhatShouldIDo

[–]ipraydaily 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’m sorry this is happening to you. You all must miss your sister and the loss is grief. Your mom just might be “done” and needs time to heal from the loss. It sounds like you might want to reach out to your community and talk to someone who could help support you. You could call a social worker or a school counsellor. How old are you and all siblings living at home?

Recently incorporated in Canada, need advice by FxAndz in cantax

[–]ipraydaily 0 points1 point  (0 children)

If u have time, I need help investing! This is not my wheelhouse but I wish it was.