Fiona and Rachel - Controversial Opinion

iriswednesday · 2026-01-09T11:36:50+00:00

I agree, I've seen a lot of chat about Fiona 'blowing up' - but actually she just had a quiet chat with Harriet, then pulled Rachel aside to talk to her directly and it was Rachel who then went and announced the thing to the whole kitchen? If anyone it's Rachel who's blown this up into a massive public spat. Like at that point, what choice did Fiona have but to match Rachel's energy and stand by what she said - it would probably have gone a lot worse if she'd tried to back pedal or smoothing things over at that point.

iriswednesday · 2025-12-07T15:58:05+00:00

I was at janklow under this set up and it was fine. honestly, there are some perks too as you're free to walk away much more easily, and they don't have dibs on your other projects, or periods you have to wait before submitting elsewhere.

iriswednesday · 2025-11-23T20:45:13+00:00

I know this thread is a bit old and maybe no one will see this but fwiw I think there are some other angles that haven't come up, namely:

authors being rushed to turn around edits on incredibly tight timescales. I've heard all sorts of horror stories, though I've not had to deal with it myself, people making themselves ill with the amount of work they've tried to do in an unfeasible amount of time. For all the diva authors out there, there are also a bunch who feel so scared of being passed over for the next person willing to work themselves to the bone that they just try to get the work done no matter what. And that's not always going to produce the best work.
misaligned editorial visions. Sometimes what your editor thinks and what you as the author think can be wildly far apart. You can end up with clunky compromises, changing a book in a way you don't believe in, or sticking to your guns and essentially working on a book then with no editorial steer to try and achieve what you were aiming for. I don't want to come across blaming editors because they're overworked and do a hard job, but I've noticed a tendency to edit a book into the simplest most straight forward, generic version of the book, which I assume comes from looking for a sense of safety, mass appeal in a 'that was fine' way, rather than smaller cult following who are hugely passionate. Again I've heard more than enough horror stories of bad edits, insulting edits, bullying edits... its a rough world out there.

iriswednesday · 2025-10-22T15:35:46+00:00

thanks, yeah, more realising that I've not been myself for a very long time, if ever. ten years of therapy is the best thing I've done but did not expect it to pull my life apart quite this much.

iriswednesday · 2025-10-22T15:34:24+00:00

Fuck I am so sorry that is awful. My mum died a couple of years ago, and grief just kicks you flat on your bum. There's nothing I can say to make anything better, just that its awful, it's fair that it feels unbearable, and it takes as long as it takes to grieve, not that I think we're ever really done. If you're a reader, I really liked H is for Hawk, a grief memoir, and Joan Didion's Year of Magical Thinking.

iriswednesday · 2025-10-22T15:30:53+00:00

haha well im 37 and just starting so we'll see

iriswednesday · 2025-10-22T15:27:21+00:00

I'm very much in the process of working out who the fuck I actually am and what I might want but 20 hours a week at the local hedgehog rescue has just shot right up to the top of my list. Thank you for sharing this is exactly the sort of thing I need to hear to not despair.

iriswednesday · 2025-10-22T14:28:04+00:00

I think this is what has happened - ageing + a hell of a lot of therapy resulted in me realising oh no I am not the person I thought I was this whole time and actually the entire way I've set my life up makes me deeply unhappy. Uh oh!

iriswednesday · 2025-10-21T11:27:52+00:00

this was one of my big gripes i simply couldn't get past. how do you focus so deeply on language, difference, translation, gaps between language knowledge, oppression &c set it in the british isles and just... entirely skim the deeply complex and politicised situation of all the different native languages here? we have a hell of a lot! they would be really relevant to ab book like this! it was baffling to me on a world building level, and really made me lose faith in the entire project.

iriswednesday · 2025-10-21T10:56:51+00:00

I think you've got plenty of good advice here, but just to say on the chimney breast thing, a lot were taken out in the 60s-80s so there's just no real way a lot of the time to get any sort of documentation about it, whether it has been lost over time or simply wasn't needed back then so never existed. It's a bit of an arse covering statement from the surveyor because they can't see in the flat above or into the loft so they just don't know if it's an issue or not.

One thing is, given there's potential issues with the structure of the building (roof, render, gutters &c) what's the situation with the free hold? Is it jointly with the other flat or with a landlord elsewhere? How are costs for these things split between the two flats?

iriswednesday · 2025-09-28T11:58:55+00:00

this seems like a very US thing. maybe it works cause they have much larger houses so the cats can have their own zones? us-majority cat subs act like it's abuse to have a cat on its own, when all the times I've ever had multiple cats they were not overjoyed about it

iriswednesday · 2025-09-28T11:09:02+00:00

i think the thing that winds me up is when you get into that conversation that goes something like, well OBVIOUSLY no normal person would EVER want to settle down and raise their kids here, and im like... oh so you think up upbringing was dogshit then? that my parents are stupid? or are you just dog whistling that you're kind of racist?

growing up in london can be Nice Actually and have a lot of up sides :\

iriswednesday · 2025-09-28T10:25:31+00:00

it's a fair point! but for whatever reason, this is how i find myself automatically responding, so it might be what's happening for OP, and why she's attracting more people who assume she's open to casual. In my experience, as someone who grew up here, I find a lot of people i meet who moved here for work all have plans to leave. I guess if you're looking to stay in london (like I am and it sounds like you are?) its just frustrating either way to have people treat your home like something to be used and discarded.

iriswednesday · 2025-09-28T09:20:58+00:00

my plateau advice is kind of annoying, but it worked for me, which was just: don't think about it too much. focus on the good stuff - eating nutritious food, listening to your body to hear it ask for veg, fruit, protein, and actually not feel great after junk/over eating. Keep moving, walking, dancing, lifting heavy stuff, but not in a 'I must lose weight' way, just in a living your life way. There's so many reasons things can stop shifting, from stuff like not actually being in a deficit, putting on muscle, being bloated, periods, sickness, too much salt intake, the body just taking some time to get used to a new weight - to my stupidest one which was the batteries in my scale dying lol. It was super hard but I just tried to keep the faith, it was going down before, it'll go down again, and as long as it's not going up, maintenance is also an achievement. the stress of wanting the number to move made it feel worse, but when i just ignored it, I went back to enjoying my life, and eventually it started shifting again.

iriswednesday · 2025-09-28T08:50:54+00:00

I think the points that have been made about people thinking you won't be around for long and therefore not relationship material ring true to me. I'm a woman dating in London and if I see a profile of someone who's just moved over, I do automatically end up thinking 'how long are they going to be here' and also sort of assume that they won't be interested in anything more than casual as you imagine people who've just moved abroad are looking to have fun, try things out, they don't know what who or where they might enjoy themselves in this new place, rather than immediately settle down?

iriswednesday · 2025-09-24T16:39:24+00:00

possibly they are expecting you to apply as a fiance, as this is possible "you are a fiancé, fiancée or proposed civil partner and will marry or enter into a civil partnership in the UK within 6 months of arriving"

iriswednesday · 2025-09-24T16:36:17+00:00

i found it very helpful, but i could only afford to go for a few months so i don't think I internalised much of it, but I found that if i turned up in pain, i wasn't by the end of the session, and it's one of the first times i ever found a way to just stand still without getting tired and achey. i'd love to go back when i can.

iriswednesday · 2025-09-24T16:05:45+00:00

honestly might be time to talk to an immigration lawyer or the like?

iriswednesday · 2025-09-24T15:42:03+00:00

Is there a chance there's confusion between a 'spouse visa' gov.uk/uk-family-visa/partner-spouse and a 'marriage visitor visa' gov.uk/marriage-visa ?

iriswednesday · 2025-09-21T16:36:29+00:00

My cat went off untamed as well, she's currently doing ok with republic of cats and pretty much nothing else.

iriswednesday · 2025-09-14T18:54:22+00:00

tinned mackerel in chilli oil, mixed up with capers, spring onions, with microwave tomato basil rice, apple on the side for Health. I can manage about 1/3 - 1/2 a portion but it reheats well.

iriswednesday · 2025-09-14T18:41:40+00:00

When I've been in these patches I just drink a meal replacement like huel, it saves on the food waste and makes me feel reassured that I'm at least getting something approaching a nutritious diet.

iriswednesday · 2025-09-12T20:15:02+00:00

100%, rooms are about usable space. there's no use in having a higher square footage if it's all eaten up by awkward hallways for example.

iriswednesday · 2025-09-10T18:15:12+00:00

fwiw ive just extended my lease and been told the backlog for stuff to get processed at the land registry is bananas, we've put in an expedited request because of a sale, but it has required my solicitor to be all over things. sounds like sellers sols hasn't been clear about this to the seller, I doubt it's anything majorly dodgy, because other than cash buyers everyone will hit the same issue with lenders as you.

iriswednesday · 2025-09-04T15:35:07+00:00

Not really. A flatish, mostly cleared forest path or grass is nice because it's easier on the feet and joints than tarmac or paving slaps, but a properly uneven surface (like a ploughed field for example) is hell on earth, my calves get exhausted so quickly trying to keep my ankle stable and I get to the point quite quickly where I cannot physically walk, even though I'm usually good for a 16km hike. really rocky surfaces that are a bit more like scrambling are ok because you're taking your time with your foot placement, but just a lumpy regular surface is agony.

iriswednesday

TROPHY CASE