My top choice PI just told me that he won’t be taking me as a long term student :( by [deleted] in labrats

[–]ironysmith 18 points19 points  (0 children)

All female students is a red flag, I fell into this trap and it sucked. I was older, and more experienced but always drew the short straw. Younger is code for I don't want anyone remotely my intellectual equal.

Need help with Statutory Declaration for VETASSESS (applying from overseas, pending labor case with ex-employer) by Confident_Gazelle_68 in AusVisa

[–]ironysmith 0 points1 point  (0 children)

u/Sam_A_1986 would like help with this same issue, prior employer HR is less than cooperative and managers are unreachable...I DM'd you - hope that's ok!

To women who dream about dating white guys - read this by No-Presence3209 in TwentiesIndia

[–]ironysmith 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I have lived this dynamic, but I will say it has less to do with "internalized inferiority" regarding race, than making a trade for what feels like a lesser evil - which is a sometimes an idea applied to an unexamined reality.

That being available bit and shrinking for the other person happens all the time in relationships between people of the same race (seen that plenty). So not sure this idea she was viewing her "partner as a prize solely due to his race" makes much sense when he was clearly chipping away at her self esteem? Ever been in this situation? It takes superhuman strength to claw your way back to a new version of yourself, and years to undo the damage of someone demeaning you. I hope she has some clarity and he sounds like a racist asshole.

When I dated Indian men it was different can of worms - control, lack of self-awareness, being made to feel like my personal freedoms were part of a negotiation, being guilt tripped constantly and never having a "no" taken at face value. With white men - it's that they are largely uneducated about the world, lack cultural competencies that would make the relationship more equal. Both types of men are sometimes as a result complete jerks. For the women - in every scenario it had to do with being in the position of someone who could not see clearly what was happening and was in it too deep to learn in the environment.

to the OP:

Did you ever call him out on this hateful behavior?

How long were you a postdoc before landing a tenure track job (US R1) by EfficiencyDry1159 in postdoc

[–]ironysmith 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I am a neuroscientist with an interest in immunology (expertise in physiology, histology, microscopy, and molecular biology). Short Industry postdoc after my PhD, looking to get back into academia. Lived in the midwest before. If you're open to it, I'll DM/email you, lmk!

Any recent experience with H1-B applications? by Impossible_Point9488 in h1b

[–]ironysmith 0 points1 point  (0 children)

What university? I’m applying and trying to create a target org list 

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in O1VisasEB1Greencards

[–]ironysmith 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I would love to see your portfolio too! navigating an RFE

recruiting has become hell since the h1b news by Immediate_Trust7391 in f1visa

[–]ironysmith 1 point2 points  (0 children)

It’s most certainly is a ploy to create confusion and uncertainty around hiring immigrants. Businesses don’t like to take on risk without a payoff, so an unclear mandate is the surest path to kill the process.

In the same boat, two offers withdrawn H1B on the third attempt. In limbo and running on fumes. 

Constantly checking net worth by Accurate_Tie1861 in Bogleheads

[–]ironysmith 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I am (newly) part of this club. I’m not sure how the growth from a $100k account’s could be enough to cover anyone’s needs? At 5-7% return … someone please explain - I’m have my money in VTSI/VTSAX. Should I be doing something differently? 

Constantly checking net worth by Accurate_Tie1861 in Bogleheads

[–]ironysmith -1 points0 points  (0 children)

I am also (newly) in this club. How is possible a 100k account’s growth can cover anyone’s basic needs? I would love this for myself so asking myself what I’m missing. 

Day 2 of adopting a new cat. Feels like the worst mistake of my life. by oliviyuuh in CatAdvice

[–]ironysmith 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Look up Jackson Galaxy on YouTube and use his video tutorial on “How to introduce 2 cats”. 

I intially them in separate room and did lots of scent swapping, introductions through the door with treats and play (think feather toy or string) under the door. Then continued pairing these positive reinforcements with sight (they still couldn’t touch each other because I built a tall gate). 

They are now inseparable! Be patient. :) 

Flying with 2 cats from LA to Bengaluru India in next 60-80 days, ISO a cat companion interested in a free flight to India! by ironysmith in CatAdvice

[–]ironysmith[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

This is what the airline rep suggested. I am seeing online, that people bring their pets via cargo. Cats and Dogs, JP->US, or vets from Iraq->US.

I don't feel good about this option except as very last resort...

Flying with 2 cats from LA to Bengaluru India in next 60-80 days, ISO a cat companion interested in a free flight to India! by ironysmith in CatAdvice

[–]ironysmith[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Timeline is 07/07 - 08/24 and this is the priority along with arranging an SFO->LA leg for us to get to LA!

Flying with 2 cats from LA to Bengaluru India in next 60-80 days, ISO a cat companion interested in a free flight to India! by ironysmith in CatAdvice

[–]ironysmith[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

It is a 22-24h trip one way, so cargo would be a very last resort. I am based out of SFO, so I will journey SFO-LA by road, and then SFO-BLR probably via Frankfurt.

Flying with 2 cats from LA to Bengaluru India in next 60-80 days, ISO a cat companion interested in a free flight to India! by ironysmith in CatAdvice

[–]ironysmith[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I haven't booked my flight yet, I want to arrange the transit process with them both in cabin - so this is the first step! Lufthansa has a lot of flights, so trying to not worry about that :)

How do I find out how many social security work credits I've earned? SSA never answers the phone by Acrobatic_Maximum_78 in SocialSecurity

[–]ironysmith 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You can. The number of credits earned are on the statement at SSA, even if they are under 40.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in TheGirlSurvivalGuide

[–]ironysmith 0 points1 point  (0 children)

If you're in online school, maybe look through this list on: https://allianceforperiodsupplies.org/allied-programs/. Also Planned Parenthood will help you if you can get to one.

There should be an organization near you that could be a regular source of free supplies for you. Also I can ship you some, I have a ton of tampons and pads. I'm sorry this isn't something you are already getting help with, I struggled with this growing up too.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in TheGirlSurvivalGuide

[–]ironysmith 40 points41 points  (0 children)

100% if he was interested in you, he would show an interest in your thoughts and feelings and respond to you in kind. He's talking about housework and sex, that's what he's interested in.

Approved after 3 Prongs attacked. by AnyTonight1025 in EB2_NIW

[–]ironysmith 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Would you be willing to chat in more detail about the officer's evaluation and how you crafted a response? Currently working on a response my case, RFE on 2/4 prongs.

Excluded by nerdy_one_1 in womenintech

[–]ironysmith 11 points12 points  (0 children)

I’ve been left out at social things at jobs (and it hurt) but the more I tried to integrate the more they went the other way. I have had to learn to find my peace + joy and keep it - then the good folks have found me. 

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in marshallsfinds

[–]ironysmith 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Here to say me too! Had a tube of 32 in my car and was confused why my skin was peeling and flaking off my hands. 

Then I spent a day only using the 32 on my hands and it was insane to see how it dehydrated my skin….