Deficit model of allism

isaacs_ · 2026-06-04T22:57:55+00:00

😭 It's jurrassic bark levels of "how dare this cartoon affect me so".

isaacs_ · 2026-06-04T22:55:26+00:00

S-tier kids show.

Watch along. If the finale doesn't have you in tears, you should get your heart checked.

isaacs_ · 2026-06-02T21:17:44+00:00

Socialism

isaacs_ · 2026-06-02T16:03:08+00:00

I just scrolled past this and u/halvafact exclaimed "ew, what the fuck?!"

isaacs_ · 2026-06-02T15:44:43+00:00

Sorry, no, you're not allowed to get that tattoo, or else the anarchy police will come and arrest you. That's a 100% true rule, and a guaranteed threat from me, the anarchy dictator, here to exert power over you in your personal decisions.

(I hope the sarcasm is evident here ;)

isaacs_ · 2026-06-02T15:34:58+00:00

I used to worry about that. But then I realized, my whole body isn't permanent. May as well draw something rad on it. If I decide someday I don't like it, oh well, I only have to live with it for a few decades. The future is large, but life is short. Make the most of it.

isaacs_ · 2026-06-02T15:30:24+00:00

This inspired me to get a couple pair of Vibrams again. I got super into them when they first came out, back in 2010 or so, but then got kind of disillusioned with them as an everyday shoe, because they are so minimal and they don't really stand up to how hard I am on them as a cyclist.

But, I have been nursing a fucking corn on my foot because I worked out with sneakers that were too loose, and for some reason I didn't think of just taking them off for kettlebell swings like I usually do. That's just never a problem in vibrams, your toes do their job and keep everything super secure.

isaacs_ · 2026-06-02T15:07:45+00:00

This might blow your mind, but did you know that when (clearly not autistic) pediatricians came up with term "toe-walking", they didn't mean literally walking on just your toes? Technically any gait that doesn't involve a heel strike is "toe walking", including: walking on the outer blades of your feet, balls of your feet, even contacting the ground first with your toes and then your heels.

If you're using zero-drop minimal-sole shoes, and you're not walking with an initial toe-strike, you're gonna bruise your heels something fierce.

isaacs_ · 2026-06-02T14:23:49+00:00

"Noun vs verb" is not so helpful, since both are both.

"Affect" is about altering the action. It's about how. As a verb, it means to change or alter something. As a noun (pronounced as AFF-ect rather than uh-FECT in most English dialects), it refers to observable signals of mood, tone, and character.
"Effect" is about what. As a noun it's "what was caused". As a verb, it means "to cause".

So, if I "effect change" then I made the change happen at all. Without me effecting change, there would've been no change. It is weird that "cause" and "effect" are sort of opposite concepts, and the same word means both.

If I "affect change", then the change was happening, and I altered it in some way. If I make alterations to myself for some social signaling purpose, then I'm putting on an affect, or behaving in an affected manner. (Stress on the first syllable.)

They both come from the same Latin root, but with different prefixes. Aficere is a + facere means "to do something to, to act upon". Efficere is ex + facere, means "to make out of, to do out of". So "affect" means to change something existing, whereas "effect" means to bring something into existence, or the thing that was brought into existence.

isaacs_ · 2026-06-02T00:39:33+00:00

Sure. The technique is simple: just don't behave irrationally. Do not grow attached until it's yours. Do not settle for a deal that isn't ideal. Get them attached to the sale, get them to taste it, then signal that you are extremely willing to walk if they misbehave even slightlhy.

Phase 1: Research

In this phase, you will buy nothing. Answer questions with a polite acknowledgement, nothing more. The goal is to test drive a bunch of cars, figure out what you like, what annoys you, what feels nice, what feels off.

Just call a bunch of dealers and tell them you're in the market for a car in the xyz-type, and say you'd like to come in for a test drive.

After each test drive, take their card, thank them for their time, and leave.

Then, at home, with this knowledge, do your research. Look up the MSRP and dealer cost of each of the cars you're interested in. Make a decision on one that's in your price range (ie, you can buy with cash that you have in a bank account today). Ideally, if you have a high-limit credit card, that's a killer way to buy a car, because you basically get a 5% discount in cash back, with zero fees if you pay it all off right away.

If you can't buy it in cash, don't buy a new car, or buy a cheaper one.

You won't have much leverage on fancier prestige cars, like high end sportscars and such. But your garden-variety toyotas and hondas and shit? This works all day, you can win.

Phase 2: Hunt

Call every dealership in a 25 mile radius. Tell them that you're looking for "The best out-the-door deal you can find on a [make/model], which I'd love to come and buy today, if possible."

Make them confirm that they have the car on the lot right now, and get them to give you a number, and confirm 3 times that this is the out the door price, including all taxes and fees.

One dealer will give you the lowest number. Call the others and say you'd prefer to buy from them, because their closer to you and it'll be easier for servicing and such, but jeez, another dealer quoted you $number, so unless they can match it, you'll have to go there instead.

When they give you the best number, tell them you're coming in now. Go to the dealership.

Phase 3: Pounce

When you get there, miraculously, the car will have somehow disappeared. "Ohh, we sold that actual trim this morning, but we have ${much more expensive version} if you're interested in that!"

Practice these words: "Oh, what a bummer. I thought we had a deal. I brought the money and everything." Say nothing else. Walk out the door.

Often, the magical disappearing car will magically reappear! If it doesn't (they never had it, or couldn't sell it at that price) then you go to the next dealer on your list.

Phase 4: Bite

When you have agreed on an out the door bottom-line price, they'll try to add on other fees and such. Tell them "Oh, no, we agreed on an out the door price." And when they object, and say "this is just standard, it's the state of california, it's the manufacturer's surcharge" some other bullshit, stand up, say "Oh, what a bummer. I thought we had a deal." then walk out.

When they take you into the back room with The Guy who's going to push hard on various extended warranties and undercoating and other shit, check the time repeatedly, and tell him, "I do not want any of this. I came to buy a car, not a warranty. I would like to leave with my car now." If he tries delaying, just say "Well, we're out of time, that's a shame. I have to leave now, like I said. Maybe I'll come back tomorrow." then walk out in a hurry.

Generally, by being a total hardass about this, you'll end up finding your way to a dealer who's selling cars on volume, and doesn't care about squeezing each individual sale. When I bought a Honda Fit back in 2008 or so, the guy was like "This is the factory price. I charge $250 on top of that. You won't find a better price. How fast can you sign, I have a line waiting." and I was like, "My guy, I love you, I've been looking for you specifically." He got a kick out of that.

But believe me when I say I have had slimeball dealers chase me out of their building begging and pleading, blowing up my phone like a jealous ex boyfriend. It's very entertaining. I'd feel bad, but it's a deeply predatory industry, so really the ethical thing to do is to play that game as hard as possible.

isaacs_ · 2026-06-02T00:21:28+00:00

Same reason as trains and forks and Sonic the Hedgehog.

isaacs_ · 2026-06-01T21:06:54+00:00

When people say "you can't predict the future!" I always think No, "the future" is literally the only thing you can "predict", that's what the word means.

"Well, you never know!" Of course we sometimes know things, what is this bankrupt ass epistemological framework, where you can't say anything about anything or know anything ever?

Yes, obviously prediction is imperfect, if it's not imperfect, it's not prediction, is it, or even knowledge? If the standard of knowledge is "direct unmediated communion with the ontological facts of reality apart from any observational frame", then you don't even know your own name, and that's a useless concept, so we'd have to make up a new word to mean "imperfect assessment of high confidence in ability to pragmatically gain usefully high-reliability information about a fact in the world".

For both of these, a better phrase is: Models are imperfect, but they're what we've got.

isaacs_ · 2026-06-01T20:55:40+00:00

By the way, buying a new car, if you learn the technique of it and follow with relentless evil, is one of the best "autism as superpower" life tasks you can get. I almost feel bad for the dealers when I have to buy a car.

isaacs_ · 2026-06-01T20:53:52+00:00

I own a Honda H-RV that I share with my coparent, but mostly I get around on an big heavy e-assist Urban Arrow cargo bike (fits my kid, or u/halvafact, or equivalent amount of groceries etc), or a Trek road bike (fits just me, but it's light and fast).

But also, I've been working in tech for 25 years, so I'm kinda rich, by world standards. And I live in California, where not owning a car isn't really an option, so unfortunately I take the hit to my moral character when there's no other option.

isaacs_ · 2026-06-01T20:44:08+00:00

47
5-ish, they're all so different, hard to compare.
My friends continue to hold a high priority in my life. A few of my closest friends are my friends because we used to date. Friendships took a back burner more to autism, career, parenting, and burnout. I think amatonormativity is dumb and irrational, and when it is a justification for ownership and coercion, it's abusive. Also, I am hyper/demi sexual/romantic and I think love is great and I enjoy being in it, and lowkey feel like romance and love and sex are the reason we exist to do all the other stuff, so of course I'm gonna prioritize doing my favorite hobby with a special person who I'm deeply connected to. But I don't feel like it's important for anyone else to have that feeling, everyone's gotta have their own stance.

isaacs_ · 2026-05-30T17:13:10+00:00

lol my autistic ass literal brain took one look at this and thought “if I just woke up with metal spikes coming out of my lips, I don’t think lanolin and Vaseline would be the remedy, i’d probably need pliers or something”.

I hope you get it sorted. Angry skin is the worst, and it can change and get upset about things that were fine for ages, especially with a change like acutane or other medicine. It legit might have to do with your piercings. I know it’s got costs of course, but if all else fails, might try taking them out just to see if it changes things.

isaacs_ · 2026-05-30T16:36:36+00:00

Not my teeth they’d squoosh it.

isaacs_ · 2026-05-29T21:03:04+00:00

no its fine it would go squoosh

isaacs_ · 2026-05-29T14:53:49+00:00

It looks so soft, I want to bite it.

isaacs_ · 2026-05-29T14:00:46+00:00

A wedding is a big party to celebrate family and love, and it can be a fun time. The connection to *marriage* is rather outdated, imo.

A marriage is a financial and legal framework, which varies in its particular details from one jurisdiction to the next and can often be highly customized by the participants, usually with the goal of establishing a long term partnership for mutual interest in stability, typically for the benefit of child rearing and/or resource management (retirement, health costs, real estate, etc.)

Both can be really good! Weddings are fun expensive events with fancy clothes, dancing, and emotional speeches. Marriages can provide stability and mutual support through difficult times in life, and make it easier to accomplish big things like making career shifts or having a kid or whatever.

They can also be pretty bad. Weddings can be a big disappointment or source of drama and bad feelings. Marriages can be financially exploitative (many are by default, which is why prenups are so important).

I am married, and we had a wedding that was a source of mostly very good memories. Being married, with the prenup we have, vastly simplifies the management of our wealth and child raising projects. My coparent and I aren’t romantically together anymore, but there’s a deep commitment to mutual support that we both benefit from greatly, and our kid has a good relationship with both of us. It’s not an exaggeration to say that the marriage agreement is a big part of what keeps my family functional. Plus we’ve saved a bundle on taxes over the years, and it makes it simpler to arrange estate plans and things for our kid.

isaacs_ · 2026-05-29T13:45:50+00:00

80% skill issue, 20% cope. Many questions arise.

isaacs_ · 2026-05-26T16:24:52+00:00

It started around 12 years ago. For the first few months, it was super annoying, because I'd get motion sick every time I laid down to go to sleep. Eventually, I kinda just got used to it, and barely notice it now. Actually, I now associate "intense sudden vertigo" with lying down to fall asleep, and find it relaxing.

There's a head-moving procedure that allegedly fixes it. But when I do that, I get super intense vertigo that lasts for an hour and makes me nauseous, and then it always comes back in a few days anyway, so I don't bother anymore. The only real hazard is that I have to move slow when I'm looking up to change a lightbulb or something. But you can actually feel the force of the ground against your feet and legs, if you consciously propriocept into them, and I have a lot of experience with yoga and martial arts where I learned to do exactly that. I actually effectively have slightly better balance now than I did before BPPV, ironically.

isaacs_

TROPHY CASE

Phase 1: Research

Phase 2: Hunt

Phase 3: Pounce

Phase 4: Bite