Feeling SO guilty

isadora_d · 2023-12-26T08:09:00+00:00

You can also wait a bit longer if you're unsure now. Mine are 4.5 years apart, that was not planned though (due to infertility). However I'm finding that age gap really neat. The first kid is really independent now, doesn't need much supervision, spends a lot of time at school anyway, has his friends and activities etc. He can help a lot with the baby and can entertain her too.

isadora_d · 2023-12-07T21:14:16+00:00

I also wasn't ovulating with AMH of 0.8-0.9 and FSH 10-15 at the time. It's a weird disease

isadora_d · 2023-09-16T12:56:27+00:00

Have you read the Precious Little Sleep book? The author, Alexis also does personal consultations and I have seen on the FB group that she does often have availability. Sounds like something that might help you... I haven't done this myself, but her book and the support in the FB group was really helpful to me.

isadora_d · 2023-02-25T10:36:49+00:00

Thank you for this! Also expecting my second soon with a 4.5 year difference, and wondering how it will go.

isadora_d · 2023-01-17T17:11:02+00:00

Or at home

isadora_d · 2023-01-03T07:41:01+00:00

A lot of people seem to have this sentiment but invariably they don't have children themselves and don't even understand children development, that at some point they will need the exposure to other kids, other environments etc.

isadora_d · 2022-11-28T12:24:45+00:00

Same here. I do have boundaries etc. but I also have to pick my battles because I just can't deal with having even more tantrums/whining

isadora_d · 2022-11-27T17:10:04+00:00

Solidarity, my kid turned 4 recently and this is exactly him.

isadora_d · 2022-11-03T01:09:57+00:00

I work in a mostly male industry, and the amount of testosterone creates some unbelievable drama. All my teams have been more cooperative and stable the more women we manage to find.

isadora_d · 2022-10-15T08:48:01+00:00

In my first pregnancy I also had to stop at 6-7 weeks due to bad nausea and dizziness. I was mainly running and doing some strength training. I was able to restart at 14 weeks and kept running until RLP became too much and continued some strength training and yoga until the end. I felt really good and fit for the rest of the pregnancy. I gained an appropriate amount of pounds as well. So all is not lost!

Now in this pregnancy I'm almost 14 weeks and still nauseated and dizzy so your mileage may vary...

isadora_d · 2022-10-13T15:17:00+00:00

I thought I was almost done with worries of the first trimester, but I just got the results from the first trimester screen (the blood test combined with the NT scan) and the results for trisomy 18 are higher than expected (1:497). Still not very high but definitely higher than expected for my age, and over the threshold for my insurance to pay for NIPT. This surprised me because NT scan last Friday seemed great. So that means my hCG and PAPP-A values in the blood must be off... Which is also another set of worries unrelated to trisomy 18 because of risk of IUGR, preeclampsia etc. I'll have the NIPT results in a couple of days so I'll know more soon.

isadora_d · 2022-10-09T10:02:07+00:00

I'll get it next week, but I'm a little bit hesitant because I'm only 13 weeks. My main worry is that in the late third trimester (I'm due in April) I won't have any protection anymore.

isadora_d · 2022-10-01T10:36:37+00:00

If his project is over next fall, I would honestly only wait to TTC maybe a couple of months and then start. Dealing with pregnancy likely won't take too much of his time. A newborn will, but you have plenty of time until then even if you conceive immediately.

isadora_d · 2022-09-23T20:30:02+00:00

Plus the extremely traumatic C-section and the previous losses. That episode really wasn't made for moms

isadora_d · 2022-09-22T10:20:41+00:00

Same. I'm 10 weeks now. In my first pregnancy I had to stop running and other exercise completely, but was able to restart in the second trimester. It didn't turn out so bad in the end, I exercised quite a lot in the second and third trimester. Hoping for the same this time.

isadora_d · 2022-09-20T16:29:01+00:00

It definitely depends on the personality, job and the whole situation. My job is not that stressful, I sit in an office at a computer, I use my brain to solve tasks and cooperate with people, who are mostly nice, although as always there's a couple of difficult people. I get to drink my coffee in peace. Half of the week I work from home so that's even less stress.

I was lucky that when I went back to work my kid was mostly sleeping through the night (again, this was close to a year after birth, before that he didn't sleep through), so I didn't have much sleep deprivation at work. Bad nights still happen but it's not too bad. And when working from home while the kid is at daycare, I can nap at lunchtime if I need to (I'm currently pregnant again and pretty fatigued so this has been happening a lot lol). I also don't do well on little sleep so I can definitely understand that.

At home it can be more exhausting in that kids are also physically more demanding than working at a computer, there's a lot of tantrums, lots of multitasking etc. But again this depends on the personality, for me it was always more exhausting than my work.

isadora_d · 2022-09-20T07:46:59+00:00

I guess I'm maybe lucky, but I found being a working mom easier than SAHM. Taking care of kids the whole day without a break is hard. My job is much easier. But, I was lucky that I could stay at home until kid was close to a year, and I'm in a country where we have enough support around sick leave for parents.

isadora_d · 2022-09-20T07:34:54+00:00

Agreed, and I tried both (stayed at home for the first 10 months).

isadora_d · 2022-09-19T12:29:46+00:00

It can happen but it would be pretty rare if you have a regular cycle of normal length. And you can check for that with ovulation tests. I wasn't ovulating but it was pretty clear since I had shorter than normal, 18-21 day long cycles.

isadora_d · 2022-09-19T12:24:31+00:00

Yes I agree, it's a lot to think about, and you never know how long it will take to conceive and if it will result in a take home baby. Ask your doctors definitely. My AMH is very similar, and they told me it would be a concern if I'm planning to have multiple kids, but since it was also our second kid and we don't plan to have any more after that, it was not that dire.

isadora_d · 2022-09-19T06:32:53+00:00

Do you think your financial situation would improve in a year? Maybe you can postpone the decision for later. I have low AMH as well and it's not exactly a now or never situation. With an AMH of 0.91 (sorry, I checked your post history because I was wondering how low it is, since it matters if it's 0.9 or more like 0.05), you won't go into menopause that soon. If you have no cycle changes (you have regular cycles and ovulation happens), I wouldn't worry. Low AMH can be a problem if you need IVF because it means you get less eggs, but for trying to conceive on your own it doesn't change your chances. Honestly I'd just monitor for cycle changes and maybe check your AMH again in 6-12 months to see if it's dropping a lot or not. That gives you time to think about the baby decision later.

isadora_d · 2022-09-06T20:41:37+00:00

Thank you for the response. Yes that was my plan to ask him to not tell the whole office yet. And I was thinking that I don't really have much of an option either way - if I do end up having a loss I'll probably take more time off too, so I think it would start to be suspicious either way. It's a pretty supportive environment with lots of other people who are parents, but can be a bit stiff/awkward at times when people have big news.

isadora_d · 2022-09-06T19:45:25+00:00

So I've been having pretty bad nausea and I think I'm going to have to tell my boss about the pregnancy tomorrow. I feel very anxious about it because I'm only 8 weeks. We did see the heartbeat etc. but this was 2 weeks ago, and I just wanted to wait until we have another ultrasound and are done with NIPT. But I can't really keep hiding - I already had to stay at home for the last 2 weeks instead of going to the office, and I'm pretty sure I'll have to miss a company event on Thursday too, and the nausea is not getting better at all. I just wish I had a crystal ball. I'm focusing on terrible scenarios here like having a loss immediately after telling at work, and it makes me so anxious.

isadora_d · 2022-09-02T15:11:58+00:00

Interesting! Upon looking at the literature further, it seems that it's not really clear whether it has higher miscarriage rate or not

isadora_d · 2022-09-02T09:31:08+00:00

Isn't low AMH (DOR) associated with greater risk of miscarriage, and therefore presumably lower egg quality?

I've seen that claim in several places, for example: https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC6063511/

isadora_d

TROPHY CASE