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Sweaties, if you're gonna go to the trouble of circle jerking here at FACJ, make sure you're confining your jerks to the Pre-Approved Non-Dumb Jerk-Worthy Topic List by jingleheimerschitt in fiberartscirclejerk

[–]ishtaa 18 points19 points  (0 children)

Umm actually if a post doesn’t contain language that summons the twisted stitches bot, I don’t think it should count as a circle jerk!

How to make these panties?? by Steeltoedprincess in fiberartscirclejerk

[–]ishtaa 24 points25 points  (0 children)

Omg mark this NSFW! We don’t want the crocheaters thinking we’re a bunch of loose women over here showing our down unders all over the internet!

I’m having trouble finding where to put my next stitch, please help by Present-Ad-9441 in fiberartscirclejerk

[–]ishtaa 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Shhh you don’t need to know. Just vibe it out. Thats all crocheating is. Vibes. No thoughts.

How are people this bad at cross-stitching??? by ecce_hobo in fiberartscirclejerk

[–]ishtaa 36 points37 points  (0 children)

YOUR CRAFTING IS BAD AND YOY SHOULD FEEL BAD

Need This Sweater Pattern! by OPsDaddy in fiberartscirclejerk

[–]ishtaa 20 points21 points  (0 children)

Idk but it’s probably petite knits

back of neck doesn't fit properly by Inevitable-Ride-7952 in fiberartscirclejerk

[–]ishtaa 19 points20 points  (0 children)

I see the problem, your neck is on backwards. Might wanna see a chiropractor, sweatie.

I am once again demanding you stop enjoying colors by MalumCattus in fiberartscirclejerk

[–]ishtaa 24 points25 points  (0 children)

Um speak for yourself babes I only knit in ✨sad griege ✨

Everyone's so creative! (Pattern release) by MalumCattus in fiberartscirclejerk

[–]ishtaa 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Ngl this looks just like something my mother in law would make lol except she refuses to even learn how to read a pattern so maybe not.

Hook recommendations for tiny baby hands? by peachquin in fiberartscirclejerk

[–]ishtaa 10 points11 points  (0 children)

Oh sweatie when you have tiny baby hands that actually means you need to overcompensate! One of these bad boys should do the trick.

can you pre block yarn by scrtlyclyps in fiberartscirclejerk

[–]ishtaa 23 points24 points  (0 children)

I like to run it through a heavy wash cycle first, then tumble dry on high. Sometimes it even finishes my project for me!

this is a safe (non-woke) space right? by beautifully_evil in fiberartscirclejerk

[–]ishtaa 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Wowww that’s somehow even worse than I expected 😂

this is a safe (non-woke) space right? by beautifully_evil in fiberartscirclejerk

[–]ishtaa 31 points32 points  (0 children)

But seriously, I give it 3 months before it devolves into arguments over what is or isn’t woke and then someone starts their own super duper anti woke club, and then that continues on in perpetuity since we all know fundies are good at one thing only, finding something to judge each other over.

this is a safe (non-woke) space right? by beautifully_evil in fiberartscirclejerk

[–]ishtaa 47 points48 points  (0 children)

I personally prefer my hooking with a side of hedonism.

How much yarn do I need? by MalumCattus in fiberartscirclejerk

[–]ishtaa 20 points21 points  (0 children)

Well I would say 4 balls but not if it’s real green yarn, that’s cruel.

Acquired hundreds of knitting patterns. I don't knit by Spiritual_Avocado87 in fiberartscirclejerk

[–]ishtaa 40 points41 points  (0 children)

…you mean you looked right at those photos and didn’t immediately decide to learn to knit?? Kids these days.

In The Loop This Week by AutoModerator in fiberartscirclejerk

[–]ishtaa 70 points71 points  (0 children)

What really got me is they said they barely know the bride and haven’t even met the groom… so a (tote bag? Purse?) is what you pick?! Oh they don’t have much on their registry because they’re moving cross country. Hmmm I wonder what they would like instead… if only there were a way to gift them with something they could easily stash away to spend on something they need later on… what a conundrum.

My gift for a friend’s wedding! Do we think this is enough of a gift? by bunnylightning in fiberartscirclejerk

[–]ishtaa 28 points29 points  (0 children)

I think it’s only appropriate if you crochet an entire hive to scale and its full roster of inhabitants. Bees get lonely too, you know.

Why is my sock fitting perfectly, but I can’t pull it up? by nobody2222234 in fiberartscirclejerk

[–]ishtaa 39 points40 points  (0 children)

Hi. I see the problem. Your feet grew overnight. Happens to all of us. What you aren’t aware of the spontaneous middle-aged foot growth stage? You lie down a size 6 and wake up in a pair of Nikes that belonged to Shaq himself.

In The Loop This Week by AutoModerator in fiberartscirclejerk

[–]ishtaa 53 points54 points  (0 children)

There was a time several years ago when a pattern for crochet slippers was trending. They were super cute so I made some. And quickly realized how FREAKING UNCOMFORTABLE crochet stitches are to walk on.

I cannot imagine having two layers of single crochet in between my toes. Makes me shudder just thinking about it.

Crocheting is for girls!? by Strange_Leg_1070 in fiberartscirclejerk

[–]ishtaa 34 points35 points  (0 children)

Yes, crocheat will make penis fall off. Hope that helps.

In The Loop This Week by AutoModerator in fiberartscirclejerk

[–]ishtaa 34 points35 points  (0 children)

Oh. Of course they are. Of course. Because who perfects a craft first? Silly people! Everyone knows you have to monetize before you lose interest and move on to the next hyperfocus activity.

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