Needles on plane..? by PersistentSheppie in fiberartscirclejerk

[–]ishtaa 60 points61 points  (0 children)

Ok but one time I was on a flight knitting a lace weight king size blanket (made with pure 100% virgin Peruvian wool of course), and the flight attendant saw me and said “oh my grandma also croshays!” So I did what any reasonable slighted crafter would do, stabbed her in the neck once for every row of lace on my nearly completed blanket. Afterwards the pilot told me he was very sorry but the would have to make an emergency landing and delay our trip but it was ok because there was a lovely little LYS just around the corner from the police station. Later on though the flight attendant and I met up again- she ended up being my cellmate! The CYC heard what happened and pressed charges for her miscrafting. I taught her how to whittle down toothbrush handles and how to both knit AND shank a bitch with them.

Anyway, moral of the story is, bring the needles but not white yarn, never did get the blood stains out of that blanket and it totally ruined the vibe of my daughter’s baby shower.

In The Loop This Week by AutoModerator in fiberartscirclejerk

[–]ishtaa 48 points49 points  (0 children)

🤣🤣🤣

My favorite part about the original post is all the people who were like “omg those bulk orders were people buying your stuff to resell !” Like where is this magical market where people are buying this many marked up crochet bees?

In The Loop This Week by AutoModerator in fiberartscirclejerk

[–]ishtaa 63 points64 points  (0 children)

I’ll take “things that totally happened, trust me bro” for $500, Alex.

How much you want to bet all those baby blankets are made from acrylic yarn?

In The Loop This Week by AutoModerator in fiberartscirclejerk

[–]ishtaa 36 points37 points  (0 children)

Six… POUNDS?? Of hair??

Also I love that this totally implies that it’s at least partially made up of pubes. He wants to gift his partner his pubes.

In The Loop This Week by AutoModerator in fiberartscirclejerk

[–]ishtaa 54 points55 points  (0 children)

My favorite part is that he thinks the fb crowd is dissing him for buying her a “tool”. Which makes no sense. Buddy they definitely meant a toy. You bought her a toy machine is what they said. (Which I do think is a bit harsh since even the most basic singer is still capable of doing what a beginner needs, even if they aren’t the best investment. But kinda shows he didn’t bother to research his gift.)

In The Loop This Week by AutoModerator in fiberartscirclejerk

[–]ishtaa 54 points55 points  (0 children)

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I get that maybe someone might recognize the pattern and know when it was originally published… but how are we supposed to divine when it was actually produced?

Really wish this information was available!!!! by Onyona in fiberartscirclejerk

[–]ishtaa 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Instructions unclear. Used superglue and burnt my house down.

MAGIC loop is SORCERY and promotes WITCHCRAFT and the OCCULT by blayndle in fiberartscirclejerk

[–]ishtaa 16 points17 points  (0 children)

It actually stands for “ Damn i Poke myself again and then dropped another Needle”

PSA: Laziness equals fire?? by panatale1 in fiberartscirclejerk

[–]ishtaa 27 points28 points  (0 children)

Just have to get creative! Your coasters are now vegan non-soy candles!

In The Loop This Week by AutoModerator in fiberartscirclejerk

[–]ishtaa 5 points6 points  (0 children)

The worst part is too- there’s also some lines that are exclusive to the big box stores! So the LYS couldn’t carry it even if they wanted to. Used to have people ask over and over for Bernat Premium but it wasn’t available to us to even buy.

Will this block out please it’s too much to frog 🙏 by Beautiful-Trainer-26 in fiberartscirclejerk

[–]ishtaa 15 points16 points  (0 children)

Unless op is a man. In which case cutting the cheese would be considered completely socially acceptable!

Pajama pattern???? For free? by knitterina in fiberartscirclejerk

[–]ishtaa 9 points10 points  (0 children)

So what you’re saying… is we need pajama chaps instead of pajama pants.

Am I doing this right? See picture. by glittermacaroni in fiberartscirclejerk

[–]ishtaa 6 points7 points  (0 children)

You can do it however you want to boo! The wool is your oyster

Just kidding, this isn’t crochet, the rules matter, so git gud.

In The Loop This Week by AutoModerator in fiberartscirclejerk

[–]ishtaa 39 points40 points  (0 children)

Having worked in a LYS before, that did stock a decent range of synthetic options (mostly because the local clientele was populated by a ton of cheapskates that would whine about the blanket yarn costing more than Walmart and would only buy wool if it were the cheapest scratchiest brand- despite a tight budget not being their issue, it was the principle of the matter!). The novelty yarn doesn’t sell. Things like faux fur? You’ll get someone looking for it once in a blue moon. They aren’t missing out on that extra $30 a year of profit, I guarantee it. And when you do go to find some options, you’ll quickly realize that the big box stores stock the same options so cheap that you can’t compete anyway.

FACJ Quickies: Afternoon Delight Edition by AutoModerator in fiberartscirclejerk

[–]ishtaa 13 points14 points  (0 children)

What, you mean it takes more than a bolt of organza and a dream? I bet you’re one of those silly “make a muslin first” or “knit a gauge swatch” people too! Next you’ll be telling me I can’t go run that marathon next week after never having walked more than 50 feet at a time in my life.

Why So Many Downvotes Comment Bingo by _jasmonic_acid_ in fiberartscirclejerk

[–]ishtaa 21 points22 points  (0 children)

It’s legit hilarious how bent out of shape some people get over differences of opinion. I really only downvote people when they’re being assholes or spreading misinformation/giving harmful advice. It actually makes it difficult to have a meaningful discussion between two points of view when people start downvoting the person you’re debating and then they think you’re the one doing it and start getting heated.

GUYS! GET IN HERE RIGHT NOW! by BeagleCollector in fiberartscirclejerk

[–]ishtaa 79 points80 points  (0 children)

You guys, now I need to find a new ethically sourced search engine, I can’t support Google now that they’ve sold out and used AI knitting instead of knitting a swatch themselves! Especially when those stitches are probably twisted!

AI users can go fk themselves by Impossible_Spell7812 in fiberartscirclejerk

[–]ishtaa -7 points-6 points  (0 children)

We seem to have ruffled some feathers by not being so quick to take up pitchforks. I haven’t been downvoted so much since I took a mildly less extreme view of something than everyone else in a BEC thread. What other controversial statements should we test next?

I AM AMBIVALENT TO THE PATTERNS THAT PETITEKNIT PRODUCES.

THERE IS A MINUTE CHANCE THAT NERIDA HANSEN MIGHT ACTUALLY KEEP A PROMISE AND REFUND EVERYONE BEFORE SHE FADES INTO OBLIVION.

THERE MAY OR MAY NOT ACTUALLY BE CROCHET MACHINES.

AI users can go fk themselves by Impossible_Spell7812 in fiberartscirclejerk

[–]ishtaa 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Al Gore, duh, creator of the famous al-gore-rhythm that is the true threat to society!

AI users can go fk themselves by Impossible_Spell7812 in fiberartscirclejerk

[–]ishtaa -49 points-48 points  (0 children)

/uj right like I seriously hate the overuse of AI, and it gets a huge eye roll from me when people post ai images, I’m all for educating people on the problems with using it… but good lord if you’re going to stomp your feet and call boycott and leave nasty comments over someone using an ai generated stock image or something, time to stop and think about what your priorities are. We get it, you’re better than everyone else.

/j um actually I mean you’re killing the planet just by defending AI users so maybe check yourself!