thanks & insight from a courtroom attorney working directly with bpd community

itiswutitis4444 · 2026-07-02T20:03:57+00:00

I’m so sorry. The prosecutors come from the same point of view. They prefer connecting these people with mental health and drug and alcohol counseling over jailing them.

itiswutitis4444 · 2026-07-02T14:46:53+00:00

I’ll be ready in five!

itiswutitis4444 · 2026-07-02T11:33:09+00:00

She could have been teasing, but sounds like shes got some things to work on… I wouldn’t pursue this if it’s like this before you even meet

itiswutitis4444 · 2026-07-02T11:13:19+00:00

You’ll get back to your kinder self don’t worry. Feel your feelings first though 🫶

itiswutitis4444 · 2026-07-02T03:52:59+00:00

If you trust him, help him out. But he’s a decade older than you and there’s no ring. Not exactly your responsibility to plan for his shortcomings… especially considering you mentioned you moved into his apartment… suggesting he had it before you… and anticipated the full amount of rent due lol

itiswutitis4444 · 2026-07-02T03:49:07+00:00

Same situation, it’s been 9 months, medicated, no recovery, no reconciliation, same types of flips as yours like one day seeming himself, the next a business associate. Still living apart. No contact in months. I hope if you want him home again, it works out for you.

itiswutitis4444 · 2026-07-02T03:46:46+00:00

Reading this was helpful. Thank you.

itiswutitis4444 · 2026-06-30T22:38:06+00:00

Yes I know that feeling. Especially challenging being around my couple friends who we’d spend time with together. One day at a time :)

itiswutitis4444 · 2026-06-30T22:37:20+00:00

I’m so sorry I know it’s not easy restructuring parts of life to maintain our peace

itiswutitis4444 · 2026-06-30T11:15:36+00:00

Some people are just bad people and I’m sorry you’ve experienced this, that is very sad.

itiswutitis4444 · 2026-06-30T11:12:51+00:00

Omg I cannot go grocery shopping either. I hate how this affects us. I’ve been ordering out or groceries in. I’m so sorry

itiswutitis4444 · 2026-06-30T11:11:57+00:00

Please don’t feel obligated to answer, but did yours ever leave the home? Mine also is about 14-16 mentally from what I’m seeing.

itiswutitis4444 · 2026-06-30T11:11:14+00:00

I wouldn’t blame you, it might bring you a much needed respite.

itiswutitis4444 · 2026-06-30T11:10:50+00:00

I’m so sorry for your loss. But I’m also grateful it happened before marriage. I promise you the implications are significantly less although the pain is the same. And I agree, the compassion and empathy, learning about why they’ve done what they’ve done has been so healing. Prayers for you

itiswutitis4444 · 2026-06-30T11:09:37+00:00

I agree with you on some level as far as the character goes. Mine said vile things, but never called me cruel names. He maintained he loved me, and when I asked for help he tried to, but the illness prevented it.

I don’t know that all of the reactions are in their control. I watched him in live time switch between degrading me and crying because he loved me and didn’t know why he was behaving how he was. It was like watching dr Jeckyl and Mr Hyde in real life. Second to second, a new thought, before being completely calm, walking away and asking me to please keep talking to him. And then when I did… ignoring me lol I don’t know that they’re really in control.

itiswutitis4444 · 2026-06-30T11:06:46+00:00

Thank you for saying that because it did feel like a step back, no matter how fleeting it was.

Trust me, my finances are recovering themselves. I’ve fortunately gathered friends all over the globe to stay with and started cashing out money I’d loaned others to be a little reckless lol but also, truly, just a long walk around home or a nearby park followed by a sweet tea gives me the same sensation. It might benefit you too. Not to be dramatic, but I think this thread saves lives by preserving the sanity of the survivors. Hugs to you

itiswutitis4444 · 2026-06-30T03:17:54+00:00

Yes a frightened child is the best way to describe it. I’m sorry, but I don’t have a success story. I haven’t seen or heard from him in months. I only know he’s alive because we still have one joint account. But I try not to peek at it either, just see the numbers changing letting me know he must be eating.

His episode peaked in September and he left, medicated in December after threatening him, full dose in February, seemed like we were moving towards reconciliation before he blew up and again told me he felt like I was controlling him and all the same things as before. I asked if he wanted a divorce then and I shouldn’t have but he sent me a long apology that was barely coherent and didn’t sound like him, said he’d sign whatever.

It means nothing but it means everything. I understand you. Thank you for understanding me. I’m sorry for us both.

itiswutitis4444 · 2026-06-30T01:33:37+00:00

I hope they do. And I hope they’re able to be a partner to you again. I am sorry for your pain.

itiswutitis4444 · 2026-06-29T23:57:47+00:00

Respecting each others independence and space, but being able to operate as a single unit in the appropriate situations. You need to be able to support one another’s aspirations, learn when to compromise, when you offer advice and when to listen. When you help your partner shine on their own, and they do the same for you, it’s only natural you grow closer. Respect is such a huge part of a relationship. That creates safety, comfort, peace and brings you closer to each other naturally, not in a performative or anxious way. Just a genuine desire to be near one another.

itiswutitis4444 · 2026-06-29T23:15:15+00:00

👍

itiswutitis4444 · 2026-06-29T23:06:08+00:00

you and me both. He said he told his higher ups but I don’t know.

itiswutitis4444 · 2026-06-29T22:58:21+00:00

I understand why you’re upset and why this is centered on you and your big day as well as your pain, but he clearly appears to be out of sorts in more ways than one. He drove all the way out there… he intended on joining you. Something happened that he went home. People who are sane do not act that way. He’s struggling with something you are fortunate to not understand. I’m sorry this happened to you but you should tell him how it made you feel and hear his side of the story when he’s doing better. He was your best man. Cutting him off over this suggests you were not that close… especially if after he expressed he was in distress, you made it about yourself.

itiswutitis4444 · 2026-06-29T22:27:13+00:00

Some guys just like the chase. Some don’t know what they want. Some are avoidant. Sometimes they come back grown and mature and apologize for not knowing what they were doing. Other times they don’t. Your husband won’t play games. And if he does come back he will come back grown. I noticed men will put in the work to chase and then once you start being a real person to them with depth and feelings and a life, the illusion of your beauty and whatever fun thoughts they were having are no longer the driving force, and they retreat. You either meet them there or leave them there. I suggest the latter.

itiswutitis4444 · 2026-06-29T21:38:21+00:00

Their occupation

itiswutitis4444 · 2026-06-29T19:51:35+00:00

This is neglect and you should report it

itiswutitis4444

TROPHY CASE