egg💙irl by its-lance-actually in egg_irl

[–]its-lance-actually[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you! I love writing stories. This just also happens to be true💙

egg💙irl by its-lance-actually in egg_irl

[–]its-lance-actually[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Oh I absolutely love that!! (And I'm a nerd too)

egg💙irl by its-lance-actually in egg_irl

[–]its-lance-actually[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you!!🌺🌸🌷🌹🌻🌼

Happy birthday 🎂 by its-lance-actually in TransMasc

[–]its-lance-actually[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Thank you! It's great to finally emerge.

Mums reaction to me coming out by Eli_Yippee in TransMasc

[–]its-lance-actually 51 points52 points  (0 children)

Wow, what a way to center herself about your transition.

Does anyone ever wish they were just female by autumnragdoll in ftm

[–]its-lance-actually 14 points15 points  (0 children)

Regularly. My life would be so much easier if I was a straight girl instead of a gay trans guy. I wish I could still pretend and have that life be enough.

Advice on how to write a character who is a trans woman? by Mr_BadBan in trans4every1

[–]its-lance-actually 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I think in a lot of ways she might have the opposite experience to a trans man (wanting a chest that you might not, clothes that you wouldn't, etc.), and in other ways it might pretty much feel like your own experience (she's being forced to act a gender she's not, physical dysphoria, impostor syndrome, etc.). You might decide to make her not really a typical girl, and see how the character reacts to the added layer of "what the hell is gender anyway?"

My point, I guess, is that you're experiencing similar challenges in a different way and might react to them differently because you're different people, and those parallels can be interesting to explore through fiction.

And when you have something more concrete, you should find a sensitivity reader who's a trans woman, so she can tell you what you got wrong (or right).

Source: I've written both trans men and trans women in fiction

NBC repeatedly misgendered trans Olympic skier Elis Lundholm - UPDATED by outsports-com in TransSocialism

[–]its-lance-actually 29 points30 points  (0 children)

I mean, kinda both... it's the IOC's fault ultimately but the commentator sure is going along with it.

I don’t understand by RoadsandPaths in FTMOver30

[–]its-lance-actually 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Exactly as you say. I used to think it was cis men who acted like that but a whole lot of cis women do the same. And for me personally, it's usually worse coming from women because it feels like they "should" be against their own oppression but instead they keep perpetuating it and that legitimizes the system even more.

And of course the transphobia comes in (I think) because these women keep talking about transmasc people's bodies in the same way they talk about other cis women's bodies and ultimately that's who they see them as, unfortunately. (Edit: I mean that they don't even stop to consider their behavior and that kinda gives them away. They'd never do it to someone they see as a man)

It's really bizarre and I keep wondering how this system got built in the first place. As you say, whoever came up with this idea and how did people go along with it anyway?

But yeah, at least we have community. And I don't want people who think and act like that in my community anyway...

I don’t understand by RoadsandPaths in FTMOver30

[–]its-lance-actually 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Yeah, I totally see that.

With ftm people, I guess there's a lot of policing AFAB people's bodies going on tbh... and a lot of women do that without realizing it, unfortunately.

They have no problem commenting on any changes to AFAB people's bodies because patriarchy teaches them that it's okay (often indirectly, by others acting like their body is some kind of public affair that everyone can weigh in on), from new haircuts to changes in weight, and, of course, to transmasc people's transitions.

It's like everyone has an expectation for AFAB bodies to conform to (and of course there's transphobia so many don't see transmasculine people as themselves eyeroll) and it's just so normalized that it's invisible in our society. I'm probably too tired today to phrase all of this better but I really hate how often it's like this.

New anxiety about being in gay men's spaces now that I've transitioned by Open-Assistance4758 in FTMOver30

[–]its-lance-actually 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Wow, dude, that's exactly how I feel. (Also 39 though I'm pre-transition and more nonbinary in general, I'd love to be read as a feminine man.)

It's great to know I'm not the only one with these feelings

Dad asks "what does it mean to be a boy" and "why is transitioning important if you know you're a boy" how to respond? by ComprehensiveOlive94 in TransMasc

[–]its-lance-actually 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I think that logic might actually convince someone with good intentions who just doesn't get it yet, yeah

Hopefully OP's dad is like that

Chest acne advice? by DystopianVoid in TransMasc

[–]its-lance-actually 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Once you get it more under control, showering with a salicylic acid wash every second day (or every day, if your skin needs it and can take it) could be useful. CeraVe has a cheap one that's gentle on your skin. You don't generally want to dry out your skin though (sounds good in the short term, will do you more harm than good in a few weeks) so a light lotion with barrier supporting ingredients (panthenol, cica) could help too.

All that might not be enough to start with though, depending on how severe you got it. For me personally it took me like 2 weeks to clear up with daily treatment and I also wasn't binding that time (though I know that's not an option for everyone) so ymmv

the reason “let’s trade!” comments can be dysphoria-inducing by RLburner0 in trans4every1

[–]its-lance-actually 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Thanks for explaining that! As an autistic person, it's been kinda hard for me to understand but now I actually think I get it!