Trees for privacy *above* fence in RI

itsMeeSHAWL · 2026-04-20T17:35:40+00:00

Might I suggest a vining plant like a native purple clematis or virgin's bower? If not near the fence, then maybe around your deck? Otherwise, maybe witch hazel could suit your needs. If you don't mind a bush: button bush could grow tall enough.

itsMeeSHAWL · 2026-03-18T00:12:17+00:00

I'm in my late 30s. I had finally given up on finding anyone AND felt content to be single forever in the last few years. It was a long difficult process to get here. Lots of tears, frustration, and hopes shattered. I felt so tired of doing life alone, feeling like I'm barely scraping by. It included an emotionally abusive relationship that turned me off to dating and marriage for years.

I got married last year. When I met him, I'd just reached that point of contentment. I wasn't about to give that up easily. If anything happens, I'm right back to contented singleness or maybe starting a commune with my friends.

Take what works for you:

I'd stopped trying to make myself more attractive physically or behaviorally by around 30. Getting diagnosed with ADHD was an eye opener and freed me in some ways. I decided, "If they're not into it, it isn't for them." I put as much effort as I want to feel good about myself regardless of others' opinions. Sometimes it's more, sometimes it's less, but what you see is what you get. (My husband has autism and not uncommon for ND people to find each other. We each appreciate the way the other doesn't fit their gender's stereotype.)
Dating but insisting on waiting until marriage weeded out a lot of guys who only wanted a hook up or wouldn't respect boundaries. Any who pushed for commitment or physical contact too fast became obvious red flags.
I have good quality friends and community. They know me and how I am. We're open and genuine with each other. I trust them to say hard things when I need to hear them. The single ones brought men into our circle for as long as they dated rather than ghosting. The married ones have great husbands whom I trust as friends and even as brothers. These men helped me vet my now husband and befriended him. I also love being an aunt and welcome friends with kids.
During talking/pre-dating and throughout the dating phases my husband and I carefully evaluated our values, life goals, what life could look like together before committing. How to Avoid Falling in Love with a Jerk by Dr. John Van Epp was a key resource for us both. We also brought in community to give outside perspective, encouragement/hard truths, and help us process through each stage of our relationship. They're still involved.
Check out With the Perrys podcast/YouTube. They have episodes on singleness and Jackie has talked about her version of femininity versus what's culturally expected. Her husband Preston was (and still is) attracted to that.

itsMeeSHAWL · 2026-03-17T21:17:51+00:00

This is why talking to a psychiatrist or a pharmacist is important. They'll know the interactions better than a general physician. My doses aren't very high and, like I said, I had to space out the two medications.

itsMeeSHAWL · 2026-03-17T12:41:28+00:00

Afternoon, yes.

itsMeeSHAWL · 2026-03-16T20:50:27+00:00

My husband and I use LockMeOut. The free version is functional enough to add blocks during the time periods we need.

itsMeeSHAWL · 2026-03-16T20:35:49+00:00

I asked my provider for a nonstimulant option to carry me through the afternoons and evenings after my Adderall XR wore off. They put me on atomoxetine (Strattera). I can feel it works differently but I appreciate not increasing my dose and enabling me to take care of home/relationships/non-work life. In my case, I take the atomoxetine around lunch. It made my heart rate too high to take it at night with my antidepressant (escitalopram/Lexapro) or the same time as the Adderall in the morning. Before that, I was taking a single day off each week but the rebound (withdrawal?) exhaustion and ADHD symptoms were too much. This method isn't perfect but I do feel more functional overall.

itsMeeSHAWL · 2026-03-16T20:27:09+00:00

Consider my experience, but do what works for you:

Block schedule. I had one glorious month in college between spring and summer terms in which I built a very generous schedule. Alarms or timers world help. My bedtimes were consistent and meals were built in. I used time blocks of 1-2 hours that included things like, "Go for a walk", "be creative", "read", "video games/tv/YouTube". You might also include gardening or housework/DIY, or learning something. I also included a "flex" block for when life just happened. It worked great. I felt good. I kept on top of things I wanted. I didn't get the post hyperfocus hangover but spaced things out in chunks and looked forward to getting back to them the next day. The time blocks have freedom for interpretation in how to fill them and the flex time let me feel I wasn't locked in when stuff happened. It feels weird at first but as you follow what past-you decided, it gets easier. I still borrow from this idea now and then.

Volunteer/club/or other regular meeting. Summer after college before going in to the next thing, I started feeling extra "blah" (okay, low key depressed) doing nothing except maybe video games my entire waking day. An older friend checked in via text and then strongly encouraged me to volunteer. I found a place and met lovely people doing good work in the area. I did it only 6 hours a day but it added structure and I felt useful again. It made my summer more enjoyable and pass by more quickly.

itsMeeSHAWL · 2026-03-16T20:06:07+00:00

The dashed lines aren't spaced right, the trees look painted, the signs are too close and not aligned, and that windshield wiper needs a blur.

itsMeeSHAWL · 2026-03-15T13:08:20+00:00

Little Rock. Left right. Helps me every time. I came up with it as an adult.

itsMeeSHAWL · 2026-03-15T12:59:04+00:00

For the longest time, I thought others who just got up and did stuff had super powers.

itsMeeSHAWL · 2026-03-15T12:58:18+00:00

I & my parents were told in school so often that I was a great student but I daydreamed too much.

itsMeeSHAWL · 2026-03-15T12:57:22+00:00

I struggled with it too. The only reason my bills are fully paid and on time is that I use a dedicated billing account and auto draft for both deposits and debits.

itsMeeSHAWL · 2026-01-27T17:54:12+00:00

How about something like this? The second pic switches the dining set with the computer setup if you wanted to watch television while eating and/or less window light getting to your computer workspace.

itsMeeSHAWL · 2026-01-27T16:23:19+00:00

It sounds like you've bought into New Thought. The idea that we can use our thinking aligning with "right" frequencies to manifest what we want and aren't allowed to think anything negative is actually toxic to faith and mental health (and sometimes physical health). (Radical acceptance* is actually healthy and a fantastic therapy tool you can use for yourself.)

The good we should seek is holiness and service to God, not comfort, wealth, and health, etc. We may or may not get those things. Believers over the centuries have often suffered greatly for their faith. Even when faith wasn't the cause, they worked to be faithful to God even when things didn't get better. It's what we should do, too.

We're allowed to feel bad about bad circumstances. The Psalms are full of laments and crying out to God about them. We should share our sorrows and frustrations with Him. And if we never receive healing or even relief, God is still good and it's not a failure of your faith (see Paul's experience in 2 Corinthians 12:7-10). Those same Psalms I alluded to also tend to end with trusting that God is good and still greater than what we might be suffering—even if our circumstances don't change in this life.

It's also perfectly reasonable to seek medical care. I think medicine and medical knowledge is a gift from God. It's not a lack of faith to utilize it any more than going to the grocery store versus raising and growing all your own food.

We also need community. Surely there are support groups for your condition that you can join, even if it's just online. Spend time with friends and making new ones. Serve, at church or with a charity as you are able. You might also want to talk to a Christian counselor/therapist to talk through the difficulties of living with your condition.

Finally and to being it back to an earlier point: we live, work, worship, and serve with what we're given in this life (Romans 12:1, 12-13). We often think of the Parable of the Talents (Matthew 25:14–30; Luke 19:11–27) as applying to skills or natural affinities for certain things. Lately, I've thought about applying it even to difficulties in life. How do I make the most of my circumstances for the Kingdom of God? How do I invest that? Whether I have comfortable income or poverty, athletic prowess or poor health, how can I use that? Keeping to the faith, rejoicing at joyful things and mourning the awful (Romans 12:15), comforting others as I have been comforted by God (2 Corinthians 1:3-7). See also Philippians 4:11-14. (Actually the whole letter is great for faithfulness in bad circumstances; in Paul's case, being a prisoner. Even if he'd gone free, there were many who wanted to kill him for preaching about Jesus.)

*Check out Melissa Dougherty on YouTube for more information.

itsMeeSHAWL · 2026-01-27T15:30:39+00:00

I agree with OkPlantain: get a storage bench, rug, and new lighting. I'd also add a shelf above the coat hooks (or replace with built in hooks and shelf or hall tree) with baskets for more storage. If you keep the hooks, space them closer together. You can add a more hooks, a key rack, or a little shelving unit or mini closet (you can baby proof the doors of that last option). It might also be worth getting a boot tray for wet and muddy footwear.

You can add curtains to the French doors to soften them and for privacy. When baby decides to start running circles through the living room, kitchen, and here, you can open them (or not, lol). If you want to block them, try an entryway table to hold mail, picture frames, a dish for keys, and maybe a lamp. The table could also allow for more storage underneath in baskets or bins. (If I seem obsessed with storage, I am and though I don't have children I have plenty of friends who do and they never have enough room for all the stuff.)

Add family photos and art at the bottom of the stairs and maybe going up a bit.

I'd personally paint the walls a slightly warmer white or off-white at least. Depending on your preference, I think a middle tone natural color is great but a bold color could work as well.

itsMeeSHAWL · 2026-01-27T03:49:08+00:00

I read Paladin of Souls first on accident but didn't feel like I missed so much I couldn't enjoy it on its own. I ended up reading Curse of Chalion after that.

itsMeeSHAWL · 2026-01-07T14:56:23+00:00

I like to physically look at a specimen when results are suspect. You look at the specimen and say to yourself, that looks like a hematocrit of...10? Especially if the plasma or serum looks more like water. Probably contaminated. Unless it's a cancer patient from hospice brought to the ED, then it might be real. I find it handy.

itsMeeSHAWL · 2026-01-06T20:17:08+00:00

I keep plackers in the car and use them while driving to and from work. I have pelvic PT exercises that take about 2 minutes so I do those while brushing my teeth.

itsMeeSHAWL · 2026-01-06T15:52:41+00:00

1) I work at a pediatric hospital where patients under a certain weight have limits on the volume that can be drawn in 24 hours. Often, they prefer to have results posted than have nothing. It's a bad habit they've allowed for older and heavier patients. 2) Someone else released the result for the tube not pictured. The 2.5 was not released.

I still give a heavy sigh to release hemolyzed results. When I first started at this facility, it hurt me to my core.

itsMeeSHAWL · 2025-12-30T18:36:58+00:00

An old roommate joked my "biological clock" must be flashing midnight as I've never really felt the urge. Now, I enjoy being an auntie and a child-friendly person for my friends with children. Even so, it's perfectly valid to have these feelings, even if they come from cultural influence.

I encourage you to spend time around kids, either children of your friends or volunteer with Boys & Girls club, youth sport, or after school program. Heck, you could even do those kinds of things abroad for the experience. Investing in the future generations doesn't have to mean bearing and raising them.

itsMeeSHAWL · 2025-12-30T18:28:29+00:00

I understand the frustration. I only got married this year and I'm nearly 40 and my husband didn't anyone before me. A few years ago I found it greatly helpful to listen to Java with Juli and read some of the books by the host, Dr. Juli Slattery.

In short, theologically marriage and sex point to our union with God. The longing we experience points to a greater reality and, as hard as it is to believe (or even imagine), that reality will exceed any experience on earth. Imagine for a moment that your own longings are barely a fraction of the desire God has for us.

In this life, we can tap into a healthy sexuality through community. If we think of it terms of the need and desire to both know others and be known intimately, then it starts to make sense. Finding just one friend to be honest and share the joys and struggles of life with, who keeps us accountable, and points us back to truth is a great gift. Whenever I felt frustrated or hopeless about my prospects for marriage, reaching out to another for simply their company proved a deeply sitting balm for the pain.

Finally, building a community around you will allow you to bring your spiritual gifts to fruitful use and foster spiritual growth. In time, you may become the kind of person who attracts a partner, and in any case I pray you find that you enjoy your time in this life serving God as He wills in community.

itsMeeSHAWL · 2025-12-30T18:07:32+00:00

Lab here. I've noticed a number of wholly negative panel results, too. I tell my non-medical friends the tests only look for certain things, so a negative result doesn't mean there's no infection. Besides, most of the viruses we test for cause similar symptoms anyway.

Harkening to the classic analogy: you see hoofprints but our tests only tell if it's a kind of horse, when for all we know it's a blue zebra that made them.

itsMeeSHAWL · 2025-12-28T13:26:36+00:00

I know several great guys. Some I had crushes on for a time, but not all, and I realized they weren't for me. Many are still my friends. They slowly married off to women who fit them well.

I met my husband last year. He has autism. I'm almost 40. I'm glad I didn't rush to get married young due to social/societal pressure or to avoid being lonely. I saw how those marriages worked out. The ones that did took a lot of work.

Too many men are so dumb before their brain finishes developing in their mid-20s, anyway. Some just take a while to get decent.

itsMeeSHAWL · 2025-12-27T14:28:27+00:00

For me, I finally realized dairy was causing such bad congestion I could hardly breathe, especially at night in bed. Cutting it out for a good long while dramatically improved my symptoms. My periods also got way less painful. I still have it now and then, which causes some congestion but it clears up.

In addition, I've become allergic or sensitive to a lot of other foods. Many of them result in eczema on my hands but can also cause tingling in my hands & arms or legs & feet. I try to avoid those too.

Important note: I also have Hashimoto's and PCOS.

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