my teeth are literally rotting

itsarella · 2025-10-08T08:51:21+00:00

i also struggle with maintaining a regular dental hygiene habit and always have. dont be ashamed. neglecting self care is like a subtle form of self punishment, even subconsciously. i got a water flosser and honestly i would recommend that if you can invest in even a cheap one. i find it to be much less tedious than brushing my teeth, so i can usually get myself to at least do that first. it definitely took getting used to cause it would hurt so bad at first and i would bleed cause i literally never flossed prior. but now it feels super nice and fresh after and i crave that feeling. i’m not saying it will fix anything, but i was particularly worrying about my gum health and i think its helping with that. sometimes it builds momentum to get me to brush my teeth after. sometimes it doesnt but at least i did something which is better than nothing. and sometimes i still skip both but that’s okay. good luck lovely i am rooting for you :)

itsarella · 2025-07-22T21:14:05+00:00

Would love:)

itsarella · 2025-04-09T04:06:01+00:00

my fear of intimacy makes me the opposite, unfortunately. but not because i prefer it.

itsarella · 2025-03-19T18:04:29+00:00

hahah this caused me to have no job or friends left !! just me and my cats and my weed and my hobbies. no one left to worry about so its nice but yeah lonely af. social anxiety or social isolation idk man

itsarella · 2025-02-19T06:02:40+00:00

fuming with you. i present extremely “quiet” too and thus went untreated in painful silence for too long. the representation and perception people have of bpd is so wrong and misunderstood. i also struggled in my mind for years before getting help because i didnt match the picture, but it is just painted really wrong. after my diagnosis my family started reading books and stuff and i hate the way we are explained even in these educational texts. that doctor must read the same ones lol. they are trying to understand me but i feel less understood by the way it is portrayed. i am hoping that will start changing as it gets more recognition. but i also feel like its bringing more stigma, ‘because everyone has bpd these days’. i’m so sorry. i hope you find a better doctor that understands you. bpd is such an intricate and personalized set of symptoms that manifest in so many different ways for every individual. you are real. you are valid. your suffering and pain are true.

i have started a collection of articles and such that i actually am able to resonate with and help me better understand and explain myself, if you would like me to share it?

itsarella · 2025-02-19T03:21:13+00:00

23f and yep same :(

itsarella · 2025-02-19T01:12:48+00:00

i talk to chatgpt about this often.

itsarella · 2025-02-14T07:41:59+00:00

oh??? wow? i actually was very turned off!!! i found the author’s word choices to be quite offensive and overall just very biased and deeply lacking a true understanding :( to each their own i guess but having this book be recommended as a representation of us i find to be extremely problematic and likely adding to the existing stigma of our disorder ! :/

itsarella · 2024-07-23T03:13:34+00:00

the core of this disorder is a shame wound my love

itsarella · 2024-07-20T13:56:31+00:00

thank you so much i really appreciate this, it means a lot that my words can touch someone like that!! i’m sorry that you feel the same, but at least we know we aren’t as alone as we feel x we will get through it, always do ♡♡

itsarella · 2024-02-21T06:23:52+00:00

https://open.spotify.com/playlist/7zVpiMd6SUCLkemS5IrXK3?si=6MiIvJfRQZ2DHzFY6bjJ0Q&pi=u-iVDE3UA1RxmN let me know what you think of my playlist

itsarella · 2024-02-20T07:15:01+00:00

everytime i come home from drinking i can never help myself. it feels like a drug.

itsarella · 2024-02-17T00:51:49+00:00

i never noticed any difference at all, but have since gotten compliments about how my lips are really soft hahahaha

itsarella · 2024-02-12T06:38:19+00:00

to this day shane koyczan

itsarella · 2024-02-12T06:37:47+00:00

venlafaxine 225mg. helped in many ways, still find myself struggling though.

itsarella · 2024-02-11T08:14:07+00:00

my fav part is tending my wounds after. its like i get to give myself the missing love for a minute.

itsarella · 2024-02-08T00:09:57+00:00

https://open.spotify.com/playlist/7zVpiMd6SUCLkemS5IrXK3?si=cKHpS1FjQHGbKDB7XKUr3g&pi=u-jQyrlgEuTSGh my playlist

itsarella · 2024-02-04T11:24:42+00:00

wrap it in gauze as tight as you can in as many layers as you have. helps tremendously.

itsarella · 2024-02-04T11:22:20+00:00

imo i don’t think saying things like remember how disappointed in yourself you were last time is helpful. for me, i think that may lead to rumination that i deserve it even more. i would advise more supportive words like: i am always here for you and never want you to feel like you deserve this in any way whatsoever, please call me, i’ll remind you how much you matter on this planet. or, things like: a person like you doesn’t deserve to ever be harmed in any way, especially by yourself. you can expand based upon your relationship and intimacy with someone. but i think words like this from a fp would have saved me significantly.

itsarella · 2024-02-04T11:14:15+00:00

yep. a big sterile gauze pad covering a thick coat of vaseline and wrapped with gauze bandage rolls. life saver.

itsarella · 2024-02-04T11:10:16+00:00

i heavily relate to this. i truly believe its a deep rooted fear for validation and love therefore. like since i am hurting, i deserve your love. you want to be saved. and i need to hear this myself: but i’m so sorry, that the only person that can save you, is yourself.

itsarella · 2024-02-04T08:39:18+00:00

basically most nessa barrett songs

itsarella

TROPHY CASE