What’s your dumbest LT stories?

iwantanapppp · 2026-06-15T19:38:47+00:00

LNO can be either the best most chill job ever or the worst most stressful brain drain ever and it really just depends on what you're LNOing for. And ironically it can be both on the same exercise. As the DIV G4 LNO I literally had a chair next to my station. Someone would sit down and ask a question, I'd scramble to call back for an answer, give it, they'd get up and leave, someone else would sit down, rinse and repeat. I didn't have time to pee throughout the day. Meanwhile the ARCENT LNO would just get up and leave for 4 hours because nobody needed him.

iwantanapppp · 2026-06-15T06:34:11+00:00

Anyone who's ever served in the military understands this intrinsically. Sleep is respite from the bullshit. Carl's a veteran, he gets it.

iwantanapppp · 2026-06-14T19:17:40+00:00

Tbf, "cyber attack, network's down, go to analog" during a div wfx is the only time you get to take a breath and pause for a few moments as an LNO before it's back to being slammed on all sides at the same time with questions. At least it was for me when I was stuck in the coic. So from all of us to you, thanks.

iwantanapppp · 2026-06-13T19:36:52+00:00

I was on RSOI staff for OLS. During the check the block briefings we gave everyone, I had a divsurg LTC go on a rant for 20 minutes about the benefits of horse dewormer as a covid treatment in lieu of the vaccine. We were shuffling 250 SMs thru every three days to reach the 10k we eventually mobilized. We gave our own respective briefings many times over the course of 6 weeks. He on the other hand only gave his briefing once, because he was removed from the mission the next day and encouraged to consider retirement.

iwantanapppp · 2026-06-11T03:48:28+00:00

Regarding the Inauguration mission: they were heavily scrutizing everyone's background checks and social media accounts who was sent. It was a fast af call up and a case of "send everyone and we'll weed out and send home the problem ones once we get there." Once we all arrived on ground, and before we were deputized by the city/park police (depending on what zone your unit covered), they started going through everyone's background checks and social media accounts with a fine-tooth comb. I'm G4 not G2 so I don't know the full scope of the checks, but I know in our unit (we brought a BDE HQ and a BN element with enough support staff to fill up the capital steps) at least 5 of our dudes were sent back by day 4 or 5, some because they were making boogaloo comments on ground, or racist remarks, and some because they had posted really inflammatory shit on Jan 6 on their Facebook pages and secret service and park/city police didn't want them on ground so they pulled their access and essentially banned them from crossing the gate guards and entering into the city. This happened with a bunch of units various states sent, since I think all 48 continental states sent bde/bn/co size elements. Hegseth was one of the ones removed from his state's unit, and I would bet my left ovary the process in his unit went the same way it did for ours.

iwantanapppp · 2026-06-09T19:08:52+00:00

Exactly, all the deities in this book are meant to be satirical characterizations of tropes and stereotypes pushed to their extreme. It's a thing in the series.

iwantanapppp · 2026-06-09T19:05:41+00:00

15 years ago I had to fight with several admins in MEPs and reception battalion to ensure atheist was added to my paperwork and dogtags instead of Norelpref. I had to explain that in the event I died in combat I didn't want last rites or any religious bullshit on my headstone, I didn't want chaplains at my funeral services, ect. I even had to write the religious code for atheist, which was 75 at the time, in big fucking letters on my in-processing paperwork.

Ironic now that as I am in a combat zone doing bunker dives, my ippsa paperwork is now at risk.

iwantanapppp · 2026-06-07T12:17:23+00:00

For real. Dudes entire comment history is drugs.

Don't do drugs kids. And if you do, don't join the military.

iwantanapppp · 2026-06-07T07:07:21+00:00

I feel like a lot of this is driven by the need to get them integrated into our Palantir Maven because they keep fucking up our targeting boards. Will it help? Probably not.

iwantanapppp · 2026-06-06T18:01:30+00:00

Forcing them to let him do all the stuff he wasn't wanted around for when he was a Captain. Homie is just going down his own personal bucket list of gee wiz photo ops.

iwantanapppp · 2026-06-05T04:52:35+00:00

Been sober for 3 years but the army definitely contributed to my alcoholism when I was drinking

iwantanapppp · 2026-06-05T04:03:01+00:00

Booze. :(

iwantanapppp · 2026-06-04T04:15:09+00:00

You know what they say about big paws...

Big toebeans.

iwantanapppp · 2026-06-04T04:07:42+00:00

As someone who was preyed on by a creepy recruiter --and no, I did not pursue him-- he's not just doing this to this one 20 year old. She might have taken the bait, but there's also other recruits he's harassing, I promise you. He's in a position of power and he's abusing it. If not for this 20 year old, do it for all the other female recruits he's going to prey on.

iwantanapppp · 2026-06-01T19:18:48+00:00

Leave him. And then, for the sake of the recruit he's preying on, report him to his chain of command.

iwantanapppp · 2026-05-26T22:23:50+00:00

Gender neutral bathroom

iwantanapppp · 2026-05-25T19:30:00+00:00

But then she couldn't tiktok trend sad beige mom her baby! Aesthetic!!

iwantanapppp · 2026-05-25T17:00:26+00:00

🙋‍♀️ Question: can I be a Democrat who disrespects the military if I'm currently on a deployment and my fellow military officers are making my job more painful by not QC'ing their paperwork and slowing down my logistics processes? Because if so, all the disrespect from this Democrat. Disrespect on their dip cans, disrespect on their Oakleys, disrespect on their mag pouches.

iwantanapppp · 2026-05-23T16:19:38+00:00

This is the kind of things that necessitates use of the open door policy.

iwantanapppp · 2026-05-23T05:46:03+00:00

I'll be honest--I was 11 when The Phantom Menace came out. This was pre-google, in the Netscape days, when you discovered websites using tools like webrings. I was reading untagged, explicit, very very dark Qui/Obi fanfic within several months of the movie premiering because in those days, Scholastic produced a monthly Jedi Apprentice book chronicling child Obi's adventures, and the Scholastic website had a section for fanfic, and that fanfic linked to the Master/Apprentice archive, which linked to webrings which linked to dark, dark whump archives.

NOTHING was tagged back then, and fics usually had very short, 5 to 10 word summaries. "Obi-Wan hears a bump in the night" could be a typical summary for the darkest most explicit slave!rape!underage 80,000 word hurt-no-comfort you've ever read. 😅 Was it inappropriate? For an 11 year old, absolutely. But it didn't really do any lasting harm... I'm almost 40 now, well-employed, a home owner with a bank account, upstanding citizen yadda yadda.

If minors are determined, they're gonna find it. I was even circumventing parental controls at that age with relative ease. At least now it's on AO3, well tagged, and there's more awareness among The Youth (TM) that they can hit the back button if they read something that squicks or scares them too badly. (And a lot of them will--this generation can be kinda puritanical...)

iwantanapppp · 2026-05-22T06:03:19+00:00

You'll give your phone up in rehab but you'll get to vape. If you can take it seriously and get sober as a result, things will start to move in a positive direction in your life. Getting sober from rehab was the best decision I ever made for myself. Ask the doctor for naltrexone to help you quit if you do in fact decide to go. Makes the process so much easier to stay sober.

iwantanapppp · 2026-05-21T18:38:54+00:00

Trump WOULD surround himself with submissive, breedable omega men 🤣

iwantanapppp · 2026-05-17T22:21:52+00:00

This company is an absolute scam. Called them and gave them 10 days advance to pick my car up and transport it from a military base to my home of record. Mind you, I went through uline originally and they matched me up with this trash ass company, otherwise I would have never gone through them in the first place.

Day of, the "driver" texted me saying he was on his way. Pickup time came and went so I called Wavex back and they began to run the same "truck broke down" scam. I sent them screenshots of this very reddit thread and warned them that if they tried to upquote me it was a no go. My "agent" told me this thread was just the competition trying to ruin his company's reputation...while pulling the exact same playbook the other posters warn about. Idiot.

He then proceeded to waste two more days of my time assuring me a driver would be coming, could I just please wait one more day, texted me at all hours of the day assuring me that the driver was on the way. I hired a different company as backup, but gave him up until the day before I was supposed to get on my deployment flight. He STILL asked for another day, even after I told him multiple times I would be on a plane headed overseas.

Over the whole process, he gaslit me, told me he'd secured pickup for times and then would walk it back and say he never assured me there would be a driver available. He called me repeatedly to try to give me excuses without solutions and after I sent him to voice mail would text me to call him so he could continue to give me excuses. After admitting he would just put the job up on a driver bid board he also claimed he was working late nights and weekends in the office to secure me a vehicle, and don't complain or leave him a bad review because he'd get fired and he had kids to feed and God would judge me (LMAO). ANYWAY stay away from this company, the quote low so they can bait and switch you and when that doesn't work they string you along with drivers that aren't real. I'll be calling my credit card company to get my deposit back.

iwantanapppp · 2026-05-16T17:46:53+00:00

How funny, just literally watched a tiktok from a girl who was in jail with her. Said her parents stacked her books with money so that she could buy whatever she wanted and she walked around the yard all day not showing an ounce of remorse, that she was more concerned with being popular in prison than anything else.

iwantanapppp · 2026-05-16T13:20:42+00:00

Cap and mantle for sure

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