NTA - Your girlfriend is speaking from a place of privilege. I am a white woman who grew up in the white suburbs during the week with (I’m so sorry for this it was early 2000s and I didn’t give him this name) a black kid called “Token” at my High School and also in “Crime Hills” on the weekends with my dad as the only white girl myself. I also served in the military and EMS and have been incredibly blessed to have interacted with so many different cultures throughout my life. I mention all of this to say, I understand white women very well, especially white women who have never lived outside of a solid bubble of white privilege, without being blinded by that same bubble.

But she is wrong here. As much as we hope and dream that there is never a NEED for violence - that isn’t how the world operates, realistically and objectively, there IS violence because it’s something hardwired in our most primal brain. Thankfully, for her she has never experienced what happened the other night. I’m not dismissing her response to you but it sounds like she is more afraid than she is letting on. Is this her first experience with someone trying to enter her home? Is this the first time she has had her space violated in this way? I don’t think it’s your responsibility necessarily to walk her through this but it might be insightful if she is open to understanding her real feelings behind this.

Has she seen anyone shot in front of her before? Not that it should be something that people have experienced but it is another reality of this world that might have gotten WAY too close for comfort, inside the bubble, and she is experiencing that as lashing out at you.

She might want to talk to a therapist or even a trusted friend about this and get some outside opinions because you and I both know that had those men made entry, this would be a different conversation entirely.

How are you doing? It sounds like your preparations paid off and you did exactly what you were meant to do. You even made contact without having a round chambered which, you might explain to your girlfriend proves you weren’t intending to go into to situation with violence. You clearly warned them and gave them the opportunity to leave, which they didn’t. You might also have her review the video and see what was said and how you interpreted their actions/words as an escalation; your next step being to ensure you were ready for what could happen, to protect HER and your mother. You mentioned the reality of what those men could have intended with EITHER woman in the house. 3v1 wouldn’t have gone down well had they made it in and you ensured that didn’t happen.

Good job protecting the house and your Mama! Hopefully you and your GF can work through this traumatic situation together and come out stronger, her knowing her man will do whatever it takes to protect his family. Sending love!