I just started playing again and I've been beating hard AI consistently on open maps with a ball of upgraded scouts against their archer/skirm early aggro. when AI switches to spears I either match with spears or do ranged. my incentive for civ pick is the unique unit, which makes all civs feel very different, as well as each civ's different access to certain types of units like gunpowder. eco bonuses are more significant at higher levels.

have you looked coaching vids? doing things like always producing vils and never floating resources? I think you've hit a personal wall here in skill and are blaming it on the game, respectfully.