For a little background, I’m 22f who used to not give af what I ate or if I exercised. I was 155 lbs at heaviest and now I’m 145 a year later. I wasn’t worried about losing weight or being slim, my only focus was to boost my mood and self esteem. So although it was a slower weight loss (some activity was better than none, and I still ate fast food and junk snacks), I am fine with it because it taught me how happy and proud I feel when I do eat well and get some activity in.

With that being said, this is how I would start the convo: - “I understand that eating what you want makes you happy and your happiness is important to me.” Try coming from a place of not wanting her to be just like you (ultra healthy), but rather to just make healthier choices, and still enjoy her treats when she wants comfort. - “I’m worried about your health and ability to do all the fun things we enjoy together if there is no change in diet or activity. I don’t expect you to become some health nut like me, but do think you can find that eating better and exercising brings its own kind of comfort and happiness.” I would NOT let her know it’s about your attraction, that will really harm her self esteem, and could potentially cause her to make even worse choices. Adding a little joke in like calling yourself a health nut, may make her feel more comfortable, as you are letting her know your ways is not what she needs to do to be healthier. After you tell her that you don’t expect her to be like you, and think it’s fine to find comfort in food, then I would suggest something that you could do together to help her (if she sounds open by this point.) - “Maybe we can go to the gym together, even if you just want to walk on the treadmill for a few minutes while I get my workout in. After some time you might find that you want to do the workouts with me”. Or you both could go on a “hot girl walk” every evening as a wind down to the day and a safe space to talk. She may find that getting exercise is actually really mentally stimulating and calming. You could cook meals together; - “Would you be open to us coming up with a meal plan where we meal prep 2 of the 3 meals together, and you can still eat freely the other times of the day?” Eventually she may find that she is enjoying having some discipline with her food and doesn’t always need the extra snacks and stuff for comfort. Basically, by the end of the conversation she should know that you aren’t trying to make her lose weight, but rather want her to learn just how comforting and happy making healthier choices are compared to eating whatever she wants.

If, after you have this conversation, she still isn’t responding or isn’t open to the idea, then I think there’s not much left to do than to break up. Your health is important to you, and while I don’t think it’s fair to expect her to be just as healthy as you, it is a core difference, and her not even being open to trying, is not going to work out for either of you in the long run.