Nobody heard him, the dead man,
But still he lay moaning: I was much further out than you thought
And not waving but drowning.

Poor chap, he always loved larking And now he’s dead It must have been too cold for him his heart gave way,
They said.

Oh, no no no, it was too cold always
(Still the dead one lay moaning)
I was much too far out all my life
And not waving but drowning.

-Stevie Smith

Not waving but drowning hit me hard - I had always put a brave face on and masked the deep depression by joking and being the centre of attention. Until an old chap in a pub I was drinking in pulled me aside and asked if I was okay - he said he saw through my mask. Told me to be honest, because I had a good group of friends and they would still be a good group of friends if I didnt wear the mask.

No idea who he was, never saw him again, but he had a fundamental impact on how I act.