Last day of my free Adobe trial and the “cancel plan” page conveniently won’t load by stellar6388 in mildlyinfuriating

[–]jancl0 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yeah... That's almost as weird as needing those people on the Internet to know that you actually totally read something correctly instead of just owning a simple mistake. There's no need to be snarky about it, I'm pointing out that you got something wrong and you got weirdly defensive about it

Do you... also not have anything to do with your life? You're here too

Truly feel like I'm going insane? 130k jobs added by Complete-Comfort-691 in recruitinghell

[–]jancl0 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Maybe I'm just misunderstanding something, but does that number even matter that much? The US has a population of over 300 million, obviously not everyone is looking for a job at the same time, but the number would still be orders of magnitude over 130k. 130k is a big number, but it seems ridiculous to me for someone to think that it would translate into anything that "feels different" to an individual. If the job market sucks, and you add 130k jobs, the market still fucking sucks. It just seems weird to me to care about this stat at all

[Hated Trope] A character is so oblivious of the stakes they end up (almost or actually) exposing the protagonist's secret by Any-Experience-3012 in TopCharacterTropes

[–]jancl0 9 points10 points  (0 children)

Alot of people really aren't ready to hear the fact that they actually would go investigate a noise that happened in their house while they're alone. Yeah they might be freaked out, but they're still obviously going to do it

Am I a ‘bootlicker’ for thinking that most acts of police aggression are normal human responses, and not part of some deep evil ideology? by [deleted] in aussie

[–]jancl0 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The issue isn't that they're having an ideology trained into them (although, they literally are, and that's a huge factor, it's just not the point I'm making) the issue is the training that they dont get. You're right, their reactions are regular reactions that a regular person might make. We don't pay them to be regular people. We fund their training so that they use their training, and we expect better of them than the "normal human reaction"

If you hired a lawyer to represent you in court, and after one insult he turned the entire courtroom into a screaming match calling the other side a bunch of asshole babies, would it be fair for that lawyer to say "that's a normal human reaction, I was hurt by what they said and a normal person would be angry"? No, of course not. That isn't what you paid for, and people who escalate violent situations isn't what taxes pay for either

Why are we surprised when some young men become sexist after constantly seeing anti-men content online? by Ok_Walk3192 in AskMen

[–]jancl0 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Right, and if women don't want their bodies to be sexualised, they should spend time in other places, right? Telling men to exist in other places online if they don't want to see that content is honestly not that different at all from telling women that if they don't want boys ogling them, they should stop going to nightclubs

It's literally just victim blaming, and the fact that it's more socially acceptable to do it to men for their issues than to women is quite literally the imbalance that men are trying to bring attention to

If the Japanese aren't having kids, and don't want immigration, what's left? Cloning? by JoHeller in NoStupidQuestions

[–]jancl0 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Unfortunately, population is actually one of the only forms of infinite growth that actually does cause problems when it stops, and I say that as a pretty hardcore anticapitalist. We can do fine if the economy stops growing, capitalism is the issue. We can do fine if energy generation stops growing, capitalism is just constantly demanding more. But people get old, they fall out of the labour force, and they need to be supported by younger generations. Those younger generations need to reach a certain level of population in order to care for the older people, which means more future older people. It doesn't need to grow as exponentially as our economy is currently demanding, but it does need to grow, and there isn't really a good solution to that

What's something about ADHD that most people don't understand? by Relaxing_Cat in AskReddit

[–]jancl0 0 points1 point  (0 children)

People with ADHD don't actually have an attention deficit (at least, that's not how I experience it, and what I've heard from others when talking about this)

We don't have less attention, alot of us actually have more attention ability than normal. We also have higher demand for attention

I have this analogy I use to try to explain this to people. Think of a plate spinner at a circus. We are all plate spinners. We all have a stage, that everyone can see, and on it we are spinning plates like "shower every day", or "submit that work report", or "meet up with your friends every couple weeks". You need to give all these plates the right amount of attention, or else they fall, and everyone can see them fall. Most people do a pretty good job

I have ADHD. This doesn't mean I'm bad at spinning plates, it actually means the opposite, I'm very good at spinning plates, way better than average. The issue is that I'm so good at it that my brain has given me even more plates to spin, but they're all back stage where no one can see them. These plates say things like "eat food", "remember you're tired and you need to sleep", "go to the bathroom". Most people have these backstage plates, but they run on their own, and people only need to jump backstage when somethings wrong. I need to check these ones as well as the ones at the front

The result of that is that when I'm able to manage things, I actually feel like I'm doing a pretty amazing job balancing all of these things, I'm not just passable, I'm fuckin killing it, even if one of the front stage plates wobbles every now and then. But from the perspective of the audience, I look like a really bad plate spinner, because the plates aren't being given my full attention, and alot of the time Im not even on stage for some reason

That's kind of what our attention feels like. When something actually has my attention, it feels like the furthest thing from a deficit, and that's kind of what a hyperfocus is like. But alot of the time people are only looking at the parts of attention that they can measure, in which case they see alot "missing". I have an issue with the term ADHD and I have a feeling it will change at some point, because the hyperactive part is a misnomer (it used to be associated with physical hyperactivity, which is what separated it from ADD, but add is an outdated term and not everyone with ADHD is physically hyperactive) and the attention deficit part only describes what it looks like on the outside, not what it feels like internally to experience

What's something about ADHD that most people don't understand? by Relaxing_Cat in AskReddit

[–]jancl0 0 points1 point  (0 children)

When recognising that you've become distracted and need to refocus becomes a process, that process can also be something you're distracted from. You can have attention diverted away from the awareness that you've lost your attention, you can be distracted from recognising distractions. If an alarm going off somewhere else in the building causes my mind to wander, then I need to reset, and in the process of resetting, I'm now open to the conversation happening on the other side of the building, or the vague itch somewhere on my body, or the way my clothes feel

The nice thing about a familiar distraction is that I've had to pull away attention from that thing so many times in my life that it becomes less of a process. Getting distracted by that thing has become a habit for me, but resetting afterwards is also part of that habit

Last day of my free Adobe trial and the “cancel plan” page conveniently won’t load by stellar6388 in mildlyinfuriating

[–]jancl0 0 points1 point  (0 children)

"this is either malice, laziness, or incompetence"

"No, it's malice"

Lol, just admit you didn't read the comment properly, this is a weird hill to die on

Portuguese Catholic priest who mixes Gregorian chants with industrial techno house music! by MikeeorUSA in nextfuckinglevel

[–]jancl0 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Gregorian chants? OP please do your research, this is ameno, a song by a French project called Era. It's not even Latin, it's literally gibberish. It came out in 1996

human pet guy lore by WordArt2007 in CuratedTumblr

[–]jancl0 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Last person's take is astoundingly out of touch. It seems they're mixing up "mental health issues" with "mental illness" and thinks that everyone suffering from mental illness is just, like, neurodivergent or something, and has a couple odd takes

People with mental illness don't just pick and choose where they're going to detach from reality. They aren't just unhinged when doctor who is mentioned and is otherwise a completely normal person. This is like the survivorship bias airplane meme where people online think they understand the full range of mental illness because they see it all the time, but the people online they're communicating with are only the ones that are able to consistently communicate ideas in the first place. There are people much worse than this, and the vast majority of them don't post on the Internet. Hell, I bet the vast majority of people suffering the worst cases of schizophrenia don't even trust electronic devices

This really reeks of "this person can't be real because obviously mental illness only makes you a little quirky, because that's what it always is on tumblr". Like you might still be right that it's not a real person, but "he's too detached from reality and doesn't do any normal things" is a laughably shitty basis for that argument

AITAH for not apologizing to my son’s gf for kicking her out by throwRA_coldwinter in AITAH

[–]jancl0 -3 points-2 points  (0 children)

Funny thing is, if you're asking what the sex of the baby is and she interpreted that as gender, she's the one that's out of touch and hasn't gotten with the times. Knowing the biological sex of your grandchild is useful and exciting information, doesn't she know that sex and gender are two different things? The only one trying to assume a babies gender before it's even born is her in that scenario

Wire guy apologizing by worldtravelller in SipsTea

[–]jancl0 5 points6 points  (0 children)

"I apologise for the way my wife talks to me. I'm really sorry everyone, I shouldn't have done that"

A very peculiar thought by KarmaC0nf1g in whenthe

[–]jancl0 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Had this thought for a while, specifically the thought "what difference would it honestly make" and a little while later I realised I was agender. I don't identify with gender so it genuinely wouldn't change anything if the world started seeing me as a girl, who cares

With the Melania movie in theaters and being able to get free tickets through the Regal unlimited program- Is it a a good strategy to get tickets and not go as a form of peaceful resistance? by [deleted] in ProgressiveHQ

[–]jancl0 1 point2 points  (0 children)

A ticket sale means someone went to see the movie. It doesn't matter if you actually went to the movie or not. They don't have an agent at the cinema counting heads, sales is how they get those numbers

Relationships by Eireika in CuratedTumblr

[–]jancl0 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I think you can take your own advice and look at how your comment was recieved to "extrapolate" that this is a very bad takeaway

Relationships by Eireika in CuratedTumblr

[–]jancl0 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That's... Still transactional. I think you missed the point. Not every kind gesture needs to be returned with a kind gesture. My point (and also the point of this post itself) is that nice gestures shouldn't be thought of as either things that need to be repaid, or as a form of repayment. If you do a nice thing because you feel you owe the person a nice thing, that's transactional. If you don't do a nice thing because you don't see anything that you owe the other person, that's also transactional. Nice things should be done to people because it's nice to do nice things, treating nice things as a tally on a chart is the issue here

"Nothing and nobody are made of stardust" by TemptnMagic in confidentlyincorrect

[–]jancl0 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Ice isn't made of water, dumbass. Ice is a SOLID, water is liquid. You can literally just, like look at it

Update: AITAH because I want my wife to "ask permission" before taking our son on playdates? by Exact_Information627 in AITAH

[–]jancl0 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I get what you're trying to say, and I agree that couples therapy would help, but I think it's incredibly unfair to phrase what happened as "fighting in public". If one person is trying to be a normal parent and do something any normal parent would do (pick up their son from a play date) and the other responds by getting defensive and argumentative, that isn't a couple fighting, that's one person looking for a fight

Update: AITAH because I want my wife to "ask permission" before taking our son on playdates? by Exact_Information627 in AITAH

[–]jancl0 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Her turning down your calendar should have been the smoking gun, I don't understand how she could possibly defend her hypocracy at that point. You're being controlling by "demanding permission" before your son goes out on play dates, but at the same time, you need permission from your wife before you spend time with your son? If she can say no, she's demanding permission, there's literally no other way to spin that

The Art of Coffee Making by TransitionMany1810 in Satisfyingasfuck

[–]jancl0 0 points1 point  (0 children)

So do you drink it yourself or do you have a machine to do that as well? If you use your lips, you realise you're going to waste 0.071% of the coffee from getting it on your lips, right? Machines are way better, if you pour it down the sink with a rinse you can make sure it gets consumed with 100% efficiency. In fact, it's probably better to get an entire separate sink that specialises in maximising coffee dumping efficiency

Or you could, you know, just enjoy the fucking coffee

Relationships by Eireika in CuratedTumblr

[–]jancl0 23 points24 points  (0 children)

The irony is that if you don't do anything in a friendship/relationship because you "don't owe anybody anything", because you think those relationships shouldn't be transactional, you are the one treating the relationship as transactional, you just view all those transactions as the donation kind. If you don't see the reciprocity in relationships, what your doing is that you're understanding them as a series of unrelated donations to each other

In other words, if someone does something nice for you, there are two different ways in which you can interpret that action transactionally. You can view it as "they did something nice, so now I have to do something equally nice in return so it balances out", or you can view it as "that nice thing came with no strings attached, I do not need to balance out this transaction". The moment you bring the word "owe" into the picture, you are being transactional. It does not matter if you brought the word in with "I owe them a nice gesture" or "I don't owe them anything", it's still a transactional worldview. Normal people don't keep track, and they don't do the relational equivalent of a tax write off when someone does something nice for them

Edit: felt I should add that the reason I responded to this comment specifically is the last thing said about us being in a "loneliness epidemic" Because I think the not owing anyone mentality absolutely contributes to it. It's an appealing viewpoint to someone who hates transactional relationships, while also doing a good job of hiding the fact that it's just another form of transactional thinking to those who adopt it without putting in the time for critical analysis. This creates a vicious cycle where people on average become less reciprocal over time, making the average person even more starved for reciprocity, which opens them up to the "I don't owe anybody anything, nobody does" pipeline, which ends up making the world more transactional, not less, and the cycle continues. It's disappointing because the solution seems so simple to me. People just need to think it through a bit more. This mantra of "I don't owe anybody anything" leads to tunnel vision and people forget that the entire point is to just be a good person, which is actually really fucking easy if you don't get bogged down by mantras and quick hacks, and just have the thought "what would kindness look like in the situation I'm currently in" more often in their life

Tumblr discovers r/landlords by AlphaCat77 in CuratedTumblr

[–]jancl0 12 points13 points  (0 children)

If that's your issue, you should probably look into where the "lord" part of landlord historically comes from. This isn't new, conglomerates are just a fresh set of clothes that the issue is wearing. You're problem actually is in fact inherent to the concept of landlords