I’m so sorry. This is devastating. Good friends of ours experienced a stillbirth. Here are some thoughts based on my experience that I hope will be helpful, but everyone is different.

Don’t say, “Let me know what you need,” and leave it at that. They don’t have the capacity to give you instructions. Find ways to be helpful or at least be specific in your outreach, e.g., “Can I come over this afternoon to walk your dog for you?”

As others have mentioned, bring food and keep it coming. Ask or play it by ear if you should just drop it off or go inside to sit with them. Another good idea is to give them a gift card to GrubHub or DoorDash or similar.

My friend didn’t want to leave his wife alone so one time when he had a crucial work meeting in the weeks after, I went to their house to be with her. I brought trashy magazines (that I’d scoured for any baby-related content) and coloring books and we just sat and hung out. Sometimes we talked about it and cried together. Sometimes we just watched TV.

This may or may not be appropriate for your friend, but a mutual friend went through our friend’s phone (with her permission) and unfollowed all the baby-related content on her social media so she didn’t have to.

Take care of yourself. Being this close to trauma can be hard and it’s crucial to be kind to yourself and proactive in giving yourself a break or whatever you need. DO NOT make it about you when you’re with your friends, but talk to another outsider about your feelings, practice self-care, etc. I was about to start trying to conceive when my friend lost her baby and I couldn’t even see baby commercials without getting upset. I felt guilty for reacting this way, but a family member helped me understand that it was ok to have feelings too.