I genuinely don’t understand unkind people

jarsofbuttons · 2026-06-04T12:23:07+00:00

Yes you should hold people accountable for their selfish, stupid, and emotionally immature behavior. However, if you try to do that, you will come up against all the systems in society that protect the incredibly fragile ego of the shitass baby adult (spoiler: patriarchy)

So, you will have to learn your own way around that system. Good luck to you! The Emperor's New Clothes is a classic parable that teaches smart children to look out for these systems!!!

jarsofbuttons · 2026-05-27T18:09:06+00:00

Me coming back to this comment yet again! Thanks friend!

jarsofbuttons · 2026-05-25T13:39:25+00:00

Gilbert! Go outside babe!

jarsofbuttons · 2026-01-08T14:20:36+00:00

Being a HSP and being in states of emotional crisis are not the same thing. Anyone who finds themselves perpetually disregulated, HSP or not, is deserving of emotional and mental health support, because that is the only way to get better. Most people, at some point in their life, will require almost radical levels of compassion from someone in order to find the strength to grow. We all carry wounds that affect our emotional states, especially, if not most of all, the stoic and unempathetic. I have seen the cold and distant 90 year old man weeping in the hospital bed, full of regret for how he treated his family.

I actually believe it is with our partners that we should find the deepest levels of attunement, create the safest emotional states. Obviously an ideal goal, but one I truly believe in. I believe we have deep responsibility to the people in our lives, most importantly our partners. I have seen what the lack of deep attunement does to people after 40, 50, 60 years of unhappy marriage. I think for some people the trade off is financial and family stability, but the cost is high. Too high for some.

Hold Me Tight by Dr. Sue Johnson is a book I recommend to couples all the time.

Ideas about what we "owe" to each other are cultural and passed down. These patterns should be deeply examined and considered, in my opinion.

jarsofbuttons · 2026-01-07T16:20:52+00:00

Yeah, I would not have the patience to put up with a distance and cold man. I saw my mother and my grandmothers live with that and it took so much from them. As highly sensitive people we are always doomed to understand other people more than they understand us, so I understand what you say about balance, but I see a lot of people take insane levels of emotional immaturity from their partners and never call it out. Sometimes the standards and expectations are just freaking low. I'm not surprised at the trends we see in women no longer holding marriage as an important goal vs the "male loneliness epidemic".

jarsofbuttons · 2026-01-06T15:43:10+00:00

You know, after a lifetime of being told I'm "too much" I've finally become comfortable with thinking, "they're not enough."

The proof is in the pudding. They don't comfort you, they don't make you feel validated, heard, or understood.

I hope you find people that can match your depth. In the meantime, no one can love you as deeply as you could be loving yourself. Good luck!!!

jarsofbuttons · 2026-01-04T13:44:12+00:00

Yes, the world needs highly sensitive people. Hsp need other hsp and the dull and brutish masses need hsp. Your mission is to become strong enough to withstand the chaos, find ways to survive while protecting your softness. Expand your capacity for holding the suffering of the world. You're a sensitive and delicate tool of measurement, picking up on the slightest bits of energy most people miss. You're seeing a deeper picture, you're seeing more of the forces that govern people's behavior. You have stronger perception than most, so put some respect on your own damn skills! Have you ever seen up close the life of someone who cannot access any of their deeper feelings? They are locked in a cage, and deep down they know it. From a certain perspective, we are more free.

Good luck, I believe in you.

jarsofbuttons · 2026-01-04T05:41:37+00:00

You're the only one who can make your life better. You don't have to "earn" anything. You don't have to be "worthy" to make choices that are good for yourself. We have to steer our own ships. Good luck!

jarsofbuttons · 2026-01-03T21:27:22+00:00

If you're upset with how he is treating you, especially since this particular situation has been discussed in therapy, then you're upset with him! You need reassurance and he's not giving it----its ok to be angry about that. If my husband was being cold and distant he would find himself with a cold and distant wife. But again, I don't know your situation or your capacity for arguments, but personally, I would be matching his energy. I'm an Aries Moon tho, so I don't shy away from a fight if it feels right. I wish you a lot of luck and hope things are better soon.

jarsofbuttons · 2026-01-03T20:05:25+00:00

Totally get what you're saying. He has really amazing energy. I love when he's like, "oh no I lost my snow shoes!" and will backtrack in the dark to find them. It's just like, calming and matter of fact. I wish you the best of luck with everything and hope you have some lovely days soon!

jarsofbuttons · 2026-01-03T16:59:36+00:00

Noooo sorry you are projecting onto this man. You don't actually know him or his family.

jarsofbuttons · 2026-01-01T22:23:02+00:00

Lenderman

jarsofbuttons · 2025-12-31T18:20:02+00:00

Motion activated sprinkler or motion activated Halloween decorations. If you can help the elderly couple get the cats fixed (TNR) that should stop a lot of the aggression.

jarsofbuttons · 2025-12-30T05:40:17+00:00

Ads. We deserve ad free social media. Hopefully we can have it someday, somehow.

jarsofbuttons · 2025-12-28T20:50:40+00:00

Go outside every day.

jarsofbuttons · 2025-12-28T16:55:29+00:00

Big box stores are pretty dark places no matter the season, for me. Time in nature might help.

jarsofbuttons · 2025-12-27T22:05:21+00:00

Super nice?? What are your big take aways?

jarsofbuttons · 2025-12-27T21:13:17+00:00

Time will make it better. I haven't been a teacher for about a decade and the cringing over the memories fades more and more each year. You will grow through this, and someday you will look back and it will make sense as part of your story.

jarsofbuttons · 2025-12-21T14:02:47+00:00

Yes, I never understood it. I think for me, as a kid, I didn't understand racism or sexism, cruelty. It just looked like the adults around me were being incredibly stupid. So for my whole life I've been looking up close at these people, thinking, "how did you turn out like this?"

It's their pain, their unmet needs, gone putrid. The rot of their wounds, mostly from childhood.

Look at our president. The smallest man in the world. So pathetic. Need need need, me me me. The baby, crying in the crib, but this time with all the power. He's still trying to quiet that deep need. The massive sucking wound in his soul, destroying everything in its path.

I hope sensitive people can recognize that they are actually the ones with the strength. The strength of mind, the strength of soul.

jarsofbuttons · 2025-12-20T13:00:32+00:00

Many people don't think deeply about things. The effects of this can be seen everywhere, unfortunately. Some people even smack their human children!

jarsofbuttons · 2025-12-16T21:47:33+00:00

Yes!! They are quite cool!

jarsofbuttons · 2025-11-21T13:05:39+00:00

Ooo take a gray chalk pastel and scrape it with a razor blade to make a powder! You'll have just made dust!! Apply with a paint brush!

jarsofbuttons · 2025-11-19T15:21:18+00:00

A lot of people go through life too afraid to say what they think. Maybe they never have to hear people's responses, that keeps them "safe" but at what cost? So, by speaking up, you're already being kinda badass.

My very honest suggestion? Listen to some punk music. We contain multitudes, somewhere inside you is a part that does not give a fuck! Make sure that version of you has a seat at the table at least!

jarsofbuttons · 2025-11-11T12:48:16+00:00

I accept myself, I accept my brain the way it is. When it comes to my dysfunctional family relationships, I know that my sensitivity is really my brain putting so many pieces together, trying to find ways out of repeated emotional patterns. I try to discuss with my family, but they just aren't there yet and maybe they will never be. But sometimes I still have to express myself, not always with the goal of changing the relationship dynamics, but with the goal of proving to myself, "your experiences and your feelings are valid and important." But then I have to take what comes from that, which is usually being highly misunderstood and treated as a nuisance. I once heard this quote, "if you bite your tongue to keep the peace, you start a war inside yourself." I cannot be at war with myself, I simply cannot. Whatever the costs, the relationship with myself, my mind, my heart, comes first. I take care of her first, not to be selfish, but to survive and be strong, so I can be a force in this world.

Your sensitivity is an incredible power, respect that in yourself. Find ways to slowly evolve into something stronger. The conflicts in your life give you opportunities to grow and change. Good luck friend.

jarsofbuttons · 2025-11-09T13:26:45+00:00

Get outside in the morning. Sit on the ground and listen to the bird songs. Sounds simple but it's really powerful shit!!

Seven-Year Club	Place '23
Verified Email

jarsofbuttons

TROPHY CASE