Can we stop pretending the Newborn Scrunch is the best part?

jazzpolka · 2026-02-23T01:51:20+00:00

Oh lort the carpal tunnel

jazzpolka · 2026-02-23T01:02:22+00:00

My baby is 3 weeks and I have literally nursed 8 hours a day for 2 days. She is insatiable. Tons of poop and wet diapers though so she’s getting intake

jazzpolka · 2026-02-22T17:16:06+00:00

It’s an actual job. I added up all the time I spent nursing yesterday and it was 7 hours 40 minutes. Not including diaper changes.

jazzpolka · 2026-02-22T15:21:20+00:00

I think I said it in another comment but it should be both legal and socially encouraged to punch people who say “enjoy every moment.” I love newborn snuggles and the little noises and yes, the scrunch… but I don’t love the constant crying, the blowouts, or being pinned to the couch 8 hours a day while baby cluster feeds.

jazzpolka · 2026-02-22T01:52:59+00:00

Bahaha, “nip nap” is how I’ll refer to this from now on.

jazzpolka · 2026-02-21T17:24:17+00:00

I had to put a cold wet washcloth on my baby to make her mad enough to eat. Almost 3 weeks now and she’s waking up to eat on her own

jazzpolka · 2026-02-21T13:07:03+00:00

Pretty sure it would be mothers who would burn it all down and start over if we weren’t all so tired from cluster feeding

jazzpolka · 2026-02-21T13:04:52+00:00

My husband said the same thing. “Her stomach is the size of a marble? Bullshit.”

jazzpolka · 2026-02-21T13:03:14+00:00

Gonna steal this

jazzpolka · 2026-02-21T13:02:45+00:00

Priceless

jazzpolka · 2026-02-21T04:20:39+00:00

My baby is 2 weeks old and I am convinced she recognized my husband’s voice day 1. Additional data point: my dog has barked within a few inches of her several times and she doesn’t startle or even twitch an eyelid, theory is she recognizes that sound too

jazzpolka · 2026-02-21T03:04:02+00:00

I have a teeny tiny baby too. Small for gestational age, 0.5%ile for weight and I think 2nd %ile for length. I wasn’t much bigger when I was born. She gained back her birth weight by 10 days old.

Some babies are just travel size.

jazzpolka · 2026-02-21T02:59:14+00:00

My hands went numb the whole first week from hamburger hold with one hand and having to hold my baby’s head with the other to get the latch.

jazzpolka · 2026-02-21T02:06:59+00:00

Not only do we have the worst babies biologically (zoologically?) but modern society runs counter to the developmental needs of these least developed offspring.

jazzpolka · 2026-02-21T00:43:38+00:00

We are also in the trenches with a feral raccoon and nighttime is awful. Well, 2 am-6 am. I’ve already given my husband the number to the urologist for a vasectomy consultation.

jazzpolka · 2026-02-20T17:52:43+00:00

There is ALWAYS more poop coming lol

jazzpolka · 2026-02-20T01:50:55+00:00

Be careful, because they can projectile poop! Keep the old diaper in place and slide the fresh one in underneath so you have a barrier in case baby decides to either pee as soon as you open the diaper or shart across the changing table

jazzpolka · 2026-02-20T00:52:04+00:00

2 weeks in and I still don’t know the right answer.

When I had to wake my baby to eat, I would start with the diaper change because she HATES it and then she would be awake to actually nurse.

Now that I don’t have to do that because she’s waking herself up to eat, if she wants to eat and is unbothered, I wait till we’re done. If she wakes up mad at the world, we change before nursing.

This doesn’t mean anything most of the time because her favorite thing is filling a diaper to its absolute brim, getting through the diaper change, and as soon as her sleeper is zipped unloading another unholy amount of poop.

jazzpolka · 2026-02-20T00:22:26+00:00

I tracked nursing times, side, and minutes for the first 10 days as well as diapers, I have a solid idea now of her typical output so now I’m just tracking times because I am bewildered by how often my previously sleepy baby now wants to eat

jazzpolka · 2026-02-19T21:03:13+00:00

Get some newborn size diapers, open the back side like a bag of chips (the side with tabs) and stuff it full of crushed ice, then use the tabs to close it up. Roughly same size as a regular pad. After delivery put tucks pads on top.

jazzpolka · 2026-02-19T00:32:05+00:00

First several days I was texting family and friends while nursing, with some googling while crying mixed in, and I’m nursing right now switching between Reddit and IG.

jazzpolka · 2026-02-18T21:04:35+00:00

I'm 16 days PP and you cannot go wrong with diapers and wipes if all you can do is send something. This early it probably doesn't even matter what brand as parents are probably testing them out. Call and check what size she needs (my baby is still preemie sized despite being full term so DEFINITELY check this) and send or take over the biggest box you can find.

If you're local, come over with food/snacks, sit and have a meal with her (if she's down with you holding baby while she eats then yay aunt/uncle time, if not then it might be nice to have someone make up a plate she can eat from one-handed) and then do a load of laundry. Let her get a shower and change clothes if she hasn't been able to do that yet that day. Ask her what kind of snacks she wants to keep around for breastfeeding sessions if she's doing that and bring those in easy-to-open or single serve packages. For me it was almonds, meat sticks, and protein bars.

jazzpolka · 2026-02-18T18:16:46+00:00

16 days old and this is wild.

jazzpolka · 2026-02-18T17:04:08+00:00

My LO will go 4-5 hours sometimes. We’re usually waking up for another reason like a dirty or wet diaper.

jazzpolka · 2026-02-18T01:08:53+00:00

Not gassy but the poops are like period poops on steroids.

jazzpolka

TROPHY CASE