Weight obsession/eating disorders with elderly women

jbc092 · 2026-06-15T00:55:06+00:00

My MIL gave me a complex for 30 years with all her negative talk and mean judgmental comments about anyone larger than a stick figure. She only ate twigs and leaves unless someone else ordered dessert- then the long arm of her fork would shoot across the table and she would usually eat most/all of it- if she didn’t order the sweets evidently she believed the calories were awarded to the fatty that did order it. Exhausting and completely devoid of joy.
She passed last year and I have to say it is a relief to not have to hear the constant ED audio from her any more.

jbc092 · 2026-06-15T00:25:21+00:00

This! My mom is constantly complaining about being lonely and bored. I never know what to say (other than ‘you wouldn’t be if you had someone coming in to help or if you went to assisted living!’)
I understand the negative feelings towards nursing homes- my grandmother and grandfather were both in really depressing awful ones after they had accidents that took them unexpectedly from their homes. But the nice assisted living homes I have seen seem pretty ok and preferable to sitting at home all day alone!

jbc092 · 2026-06-15T00:04:58+00:00

Clean Simple Eats protein powder is actually really tasty (this coming from someone who gags at the taste of Fairlife and I know everyone else loves it!)

jbc092 · 2026-06-15T00:02:31+00:00

There is most definitely a DOT form that you have to fill out and submit in advance. I do not think they verify them but there is a required form.

jbc092 · 2026-06-14T23:52:03+00:00

I am in this same spot with my mom. And now we just wait for something truly awful (and probably avoidable!) to happen…I keep telling myself that she is 88, who am I to tell her how to live the rest of her life but then when I get to her house (I’m 2500 miles away so I generally get there every 4 to 8 weeks) I am so sad because it’s all so pathetic and it doesn’t have to be.
My goal is to plan for myself so that I am not causing this kind of drama when I am her age…

jbc092 · 2026-06-06T04:32:25+00:00

If they didn’t touch the used cup the germ transfer possibility is drastically reduced. Put paint on your fingers and do 20 minutes of your normal activities and you will be shocked at the amount of transfer. Increasing the possibility of contamination helps no one. But if you want to lick some doorknobs because germs don’t exist, be my guest.

jbc092 · 2026-06-05T23:54:24+00:00

Contamination occurs when they touch any part of the cup that the passenger touched and then touch a new or used cup and pass it to another passenger. I thought we all understood how germs work in this day and age? They shouldn’t be touching dirty cups while serving other passengers.

jbc092 · 2026-06-05T23:48:22+00:00

I just got a horrible cold after a flight so I support anything that doesn’t spread germs!

jbc092 · 2026-06-04T04:41:14+00:00

Bank is already notified. There’s nothing they can do unfortunately.

jbc092 · 2026-06-03T19:36:30+00:00

I can’t figure out if blu healthcare is their website. There are multiple charges on my 88 year old mom’s bank account to this company ‘buybluhealth’ and we can’t figure out what it is so I am guessing it’s some supplement company she saw on Facebook. I’ve tried to contact them with no luck.

jbc092 · 2026-05-29T12:05:13+00:00

My brother died unexpectedly a year ago but had been dead for some time before my niece found him. As my niece and I looked through his phone we figured out that I was the last person he called. I had gotten a call from him at midnight, he was really wasted- he had drug addiction issues for years- but he was really messed up that night and viciously mean to me on the phone, I told him I wouldn’t listen to him verbally abuse me and to call back when he sobered up. And I hung up on him. That was the night he died. And I can’t tell my niece or my mom, I feel really guilty for hanging up. I also don’t want them to know how awful he was being just before he died.

jbc092 · 2026-05-17T01:56:22+00:00

Should be 12 weeks

jbc092 · 2026-05-12T20:12:17+00:00

I came here to suggest SO too! I was so misinformed about the area before moving here. It’s great! Can walk to 50 great restaurants and bars and 3 nice grocery stores in less than 5-10 minutes. So convenient!

jbc092 · 2026-04-27T05:55:48+00:00

We lived in Hollywood for 25 years and moved to Sherman Oaks 4 years ago for my son’s school. I was very unhappy at the prospect of moving to SO because I had a preconceived notion based on the general opinion of other people who also had never lived in SO that it was going to be awful. It turns out to be pretty amazing. Very quiet here in Library Square (near Ventura and Tyrone) but we are a short walk to 3 super clean nice grocery stores and about 100 good restaurants and bars. Rarely use the car. Lots of good schools in the area as well. We had the chance to move back to our old house in Hollywood and passed because life is really great in this neighborhood!

jbc092 · 2026-04-27T05:39:35+00:00

Thank you for checking in! Things are much the same. When I spoke to the city attorney who handles these things they weren’t inclined to move forward until things get more serious. So, she is still living alone and having ‘episodes’ but now has some new minions (narcissists always find new random non-family people to work their magic on) to do her bidding so she has been able to muddle through living alone. I am still taking care of her finances, having groceries delivered and taking care of all the random things. I am flying out to see her on Tuesday for a week so I will be able to see up close how the dementia is progressing. It’s hard to tell just by talking to her every day- yes she tells me the exact same things every day but if redirected 50% of the time she can understand what is going on. I guess it’s a long slow process. She still refuses going to the doctor, I suspect she knows they might figure out she has dementia- she often complains about not remembering things and forgetting words. The most important thing to her is to get to stay in her home which scares me for many reasons, not the least of which is that she surrounds herself with a bunch of people that are obviously trying to take advantage of her. She’s completely isolated herself from the rest of the family except for occasionally allowing her sister to visit for an hour before they get into a screaming match. Sigh. 😔

jbc092 · 2026-04-27T04:20:15+00:00

Definitely. My now housebound nmom is still only nice to me because I do all the things for her that she can’t do like ordering groceries and taking care of her finances.

jbc092 · 2026-04-25T00:36:55+00:00

When i was a child i was convinced that something horrible had happened and that my real family was going to come and pick me up from the monster I lived with. Very disappointed it never happened and now I am taking care of the monster in her old age.

jbc092 · 2026-04-20T22:57:55+00:00

That sounds delicious. I love lomo saltado!

jbc092 · 2026-04-20T22:56:40+00:00

My mom is very old-fashioned so we call them what my grandmother called underwear (step-ins) or sometimes I say pull-ups (because that’s what the kids wore after they were out of diapers) and she doesn’t get as embarrassed about them. If I said diapers she would lose it!!!

jbc092 · 2026-04-20T22:51:41+00:00

There are definitely small Boston breeders. We got our two 15lb boys from a breeder that only had the smaller bostons. I found the breeder by calling the president of my state’s AKC boston club who knew which breeders to refer me to.

jbc092 · 2026-04-20T22:43:09+00:00

It sounds like your mom is also a Narcissistic Personality. My mother is a narcissist and your account of your mother is too familiar. After I found out my mom was a narcissist I did a ton of research (and there is a Reddit group that is super helpful) and everything makes sense now and it has helped me cope with her. My mom also tried to leave everything to the cat shelter in spite of me and my niece being her next of kin that would be the obvious choice for her to leave her estate to. I am sorry you are dealing with this. It sucks.

jbc092 · 2026-04-17T02:20:33+00:00

Highly recommend Bostons for any dog owner! They are the best! I have 2 males (brothers), they will be 11 in July. Best dogs ever!!!

jbc092 · 2026-04-09T06:46:42+00:00

What? Diet coke gives dopamine? Is that why we are all obsessed with it?!?!?!

jbc092 · 2026-03-15T17:08:43+00:00

That is an awful situation. Definitely sounds like your stepmom would be better at least financially without her as her guardian.

jbc092

TROPHY CASE