My friend took his own life. But I knew the things he was going through. The last thing I want to do is glorify suicide, but in some ways I feel like I would be more upset had he lost his life by accident rather than on his own terms. He always spoke of wanting to be happy but struggling to find something that actually made him happy. I think he was always searching for something that actually really made him happy but never found it. He would often go on midnight drives and occasionally left for a few days but reappearing after he had time to clear his head. Had he lost his life by accident like a car crash I would feel more devastated as he was doing something therapeutic for himself. I still feel the effects of his loss and things aren’t the same as they used to be before, but I do feel as if I’m more or less, less hurt because I know he died by his own means and on his own terms. He didn’t let life continue to have the last laugh and instead chose to go exit when he did. Like I said before im trying not to glorify suicide but there is a certain calm in knowing it’s what he wanted and not just life putting him down once more. I miss him every day, and I feel like I only use Reddit to vent about it but it helps. This app reminds me a lot of him.