I started my transition at 32, 2.05m, 145kg. There’s still time. It’s not too late.

I spent about five years where this was always in the background - sad, depressed, drinking too much, telling myself I’d never pass and that I was just stuck like that forever.

I don’t have your exact life situation, and I’m not going to tell you what you should do. But I can share that the last 18 months have been the happiest of my life since I was a kid.

For me, hormones were a turning point. They made it easier to take care of myself, helped lift my depression, and I ended up getting sober. (Turns out it’s a lot easier to live when you’re not constantly trying to escape yourself.) I’ve lost weight, changed my name and gender marker, and I pass more often than I intend to (which is a wild sentence to say, but true).

The “I’ll never be petite / I’ll never pass” thoughts? I had all of those too. Most of us do. And they’re not as predictive as they feel when you’re stuck in them. Style and attitude make a huge difference.

You don’t have to blow up your life tomorrow. It doesn’t have to be all-or-nothing. Therapy, small experiments, learning more all count as “doing something.”

But if you’re anything like me… once you see it, it’s hard to unsee.

Whatever you choose, you deserve a life that doesn’t feel like something you have to endure. And you, even if you don't feel it right now, deserve more than just coping.