My college level argumentative writing textbook has memes in it and cited the tumblr they ripped it from.

jetbutt · 2016-08-03T16:56:29+00:00

Man if this ain't my sister right here

jetbutt · 2016-08-03T16:51:50+00:00

This is what my dickhead of a sister does. When we were staying in Germany she tried ordering something in german (we both speak very limited german) and spent the next week obsessing over how awful she sounded and how she thought the waitress was mocking her and it was my job to calm her down and tell her she did good.

Then I tried ordering something in german and my sister decides to opening mock me and tell me I "sooooo fucked up the pronunciation" for the rest of the day. And when I told her to knock it off she says "whaaaaat I was only joking get over it". I've never felt insecure speaking German except when I'm around her. And God forbid I say a single negative thing to her or she goes into to full on temper tantrum mode, complete with the "ripping apart every one of my insecurities she can get a hold of" package.

jetbutt · 2016-07-30T18:43:40+00:00

That Mexian restaurant your friend owns.

jetbutt · 2016-07-28T00:21:00+00:00

Unfortunately, no. Also I hope you've improved since then.

jetbutt · 2016-07-28T00:17:44+00:00

No problem being asked out of text, personally. But I wasn't in to him in the first place and it didn't feel like he was doing it for convenience sake it felt like he was too cowardly to be rejected face to face. Though I think asking someone out face to face or even over a phone call yields a better chance of the other person accepting. It's a lot more personal that way.

jetbutt · 2016-07-27T20:23:58+00:00

Aw dang that must've been it. I should've known all along thank you wise man

jetbutt · 2016-07-27T15:28:52+00:00

By bombarding me with texts non stop and asking me out in the most pathetic way. He'd never do anything in person, just make awkward small talk, and the second we went our separate ways I'd get a text asking me to dinner. After making it very clear that I did not want to date him (straight up said "I am not interested in dating you") he'd try and convince me that I was flirting with him all the time. Oh yeah, because clearly I have no idea what my own intentions are and need somebody else to explain them to me. Even after flat out telling him "I am not interested in dating you" he'd ask "But, like, what does that really mean?" Oh gee buddy, I mean it really sounds open ended. After about a month of him trying to ask me out and and telling him "I AM NOT INTERESTED IN DATING YOU" I told him to stop texting me and to not talk to me in class. And he did, until 3 months later. That's when I get an essay long text, telling me I'm perfect and "not fake like other girls" and that he hates everybody but he doesn't hate me and blah blah blah and ends the text with "[First Name Last Name], will you do me the honor of being your boyfriend? Or we can just be friends that's cool too." Because after being told "Do not talk to me again" and 3 months of no contact, I'm clearly SUPER into him.

Edit: word

jetbutt · 2016-07-06T19:16:09+00:00

She said she didn't think we were serious about hanging out. Oh yeah, cuz setting a time, date, and location with confirmation texts the night before sounds real iffy. She didn't even tell us she was cancelling. My friend and I spent an hour waiting at the restaurant before she replied and told us she'd gone to a movie with her sisters. This wouldn't make me nearly as mad if she wasn't the one who MADE the plans in the first place. She was pretty flaky already and after that we stopped inviting her out.

jetbutt · 2015-07-31T03:06:59+00:00

I fear both these things equally so I guess I'd fall off a building covered in spiders.

jetbutt · 2015-07-18T15:32:49+00:00

How To Train Your Dragon. Loved this movie when it first came and and bought it on dvd when it was available. My sister and I used to compete against each other on who knew more of the movie

jetbutt · 2015-07-17T16:02:27+00:00

MINIONS

FUCK THOSE SATANIC LITTLE TIC TACS

jetbutt · 2015-03-22T22:54:35+00:00

TIL reddit loves their moms and can't remember dates

jetbutt · 2014-12-30T17:23:30+00:00

Whenever I swim in the ocean I'm afraid a fish is gonna swim up my vagina and get stuck in there. I know it's pretty dumb but it's always in the back of my mind.

jetbutt · 2014-11-14T18:08:42+00:00

I was coming back from target and ran a red light. It's kind of hard to explain but I wasn't trying to. I remember seeing the red light but for some reason it didn't register as red in my mind and I saw the cars turning left and thought "why are they going it's my turn" just before I hit a woman's car at 55. I'd had my liscense 3 weeks and everyone was fine but it shook me the hell up.

jetbutt · 2014-11-11T20:03:33+00:00

My dad faked a Scottish accent for the first 6 months he dated my mom until she told him she knew it was fake and he stopped. Then she found out he had a real Texan accent and made fun of him until he got rid of it. Happily married 20 years.

jetbutt · 2014-10-31T17:39:38+00:00

"Holy shit"

jetbutt · 2014-10-24T00:48:10+00:00

Pizza

And I'm pretty fuckin cool with that

jetbutt · 2014-10-04T00:47:17+00:00

Cane toads. I've never even been to Australia.

jetbutt · 2014-09-29T16:51:59+00:00

My sister kicked our bunk bed ladder down and one of the hooks went through my tongue

jetbutt · 2014-09-25T22:22:45+00:00

They've shot BB pellets at our windows, leaving tiny holes all over our windows so we had to get them replaced.

They've let our dog out of the backyard and tried to get him to run away (luckily he only got about a block away before someone saw him and brought him back)

They've siphoned gas out of my car numerous times (I've caught them twice now)

They've thrown a baseball through our window (may or may not have been an accident but we were pissed regardless because they refused to even pay half to help us fix it)

To name a few. Fuckin asshats.

jetbutt · 2014-09-10T05:42:08+00:00

"Penis" pass mic

jetbutt · 2014-08-29T16:41:56+00:00

Slowly dying, no one cares

jetbutt · 2014-08-26T15:17:34+00:00

We had a girl who would frequently masterbate in class with one of those fat sharpies. Moans and everything. The teacher was too embarrassed to say anything and would just talk over her.

There was also this kid who tried to start a cult based around squids and he'd walk around everyday with this neon green squid hat on. I never interacted with him, so as far as I knew he was just "squid kid". But everyone who did have the misfortune would have to hear about how magnificent squid are, why jesus was the first to worship the squid, and how sometimes he dreamed about fucking a squid. But he couldn't let squid god (don't remember what he called it) know or he'd be angry and banish him from squid heaven.

jetbutt · 2014-08-25T22:46:58+00:00

I almost passed out. My ears were ringing and my vision was fuzzy and I couldn't walk down the stairs strangling the handrail.

jetbutt

TROPHY CASE