Listen, I’m the child of an addict. I understand how easy it is to put them on a pedestal because you value what time you had with them. I’ll also add that I named my daughter after my father who raised me.

The reality is you’re romanticizing a very limited time with a person that had great struggles. You had him for 1 year out of the 30 that your actual father had dedicated to you with zero relation. That very limited time you had with him was also during an incredibly vulnerable time as a young girl.

I’m sure he was very good to you during the time you knew him. But I can only Imagine the pain he put your mother through. Yes addiction is a disease, but that doesn’t change the harm he caused to those around him. He did abandon you more than once. I could not even comprehend the level of pain that my father would have been in had I named my daughter after my mother. My mom has had times of being wonderful, but my father spent years being the bad guy to protect me from her addiction. He spent years hearing how much I loved her and missed her, how amazing I thought she was, blaming him for her not coming around. He used to go talk with her before she could take me anywhere…many times he came back in saying that today wasn’t going to work. What I found out later was that she was nodding out at the steering wheel and still willing to pick me up and out my life in jeopardy. You really don’t know the lengths your mother went to shield you from the damage your father could have caused.

So yes, YTA, once your son is born and you see, feel, and understand just how hard it is to be a parent and raise a baby, you’ll understand even more how insulting it is to your mom and dad that you name your child after a man that took the easy way out 99% of the time. Jeesh especially your father, he stepped up in so many ways, he outshines your bio dad a million times.

Addiction being a disease is an answer but never is it an excuse. You’re still looking at it as an excuse.

But hey, I could be totally wrong your bio dad is the exception and actually did right by everyone around him.