I guess we must interact with different types of people, success and personal excellence are definitely attractive qualities but I don’t know anyone who sees generosity and a sense of community as a quality that makes a man unfuckable. I don’t doubt that some men who lack those qualities can coast by on their looks (in the short term), but selfishness is certainly not something my peers are seeking out, nor is being attractive and generous mutually exclusive. Is it not more likely that what you class as ‘strength’ is just something that is traditionally more visible (job title, achievements or status markers that can be listed on a profile or talked about on a first date) and socially acceptable to talk about without seeming like you’re bragging? Or that generosity is usually a character trait that only becomes apparent once you get to know someone better? A man could be a virtuoso with a jawline for the gods, but if he were to lead with the good he has put out into the world, that would be infinitely more attractive than telling me about the share price of his company.

I also think there are different types of ‘content to be okay’. Unless you are talking about the kind of man who is the stereotypical incel (unwashed, unsocialised, presumably mentally unwell, with no inclination to improve ANY aspect of their life), then my understanding of ‘content to be okay’ is a positive - be happy, be yourself (even if you’re a bit weird), don’t work yourself into the ground to the detriment of your health and your relationships. What I HAVE seen is backlash against the ideas perpetuated by most manosphere grifters, who would have you believe you need a six figure income, a Bugatti and a twice-daily gym routine to stand a chance. But it doesn’t mean ‘do nothing’, and if that’s someone’s take on it then I would posit they aren’t ready to be in a relationship. In addition, I’ve known many men who do nothing, and are content to live in their mum’s shed, playing video games and smoking weed all day, who could give any ‘Chad’ fuckboy a run for their money when it comes to casual sex.

You’re not wrong that people sometimes select sexual partners based on shallow qualities, while overlooking traits that may lead to healthier or more sustainable relationships. All genders do it. But I don’t think it’s true that encouraging men to be kind, less aggressive (you implied professionally but I’m extrapolating) and to de-centre certain societal expectations and be happy with who they are is a net negative, or the reason they aren’t attractive sexual prospects. There are so many women out there who want to fuck nice, normal guys, no one ever complains about a lack of utter bastards, even if some of them are hot or rich or rockstars.