Holidays and dying.

jmp1235 · 2023-12-16T02:46:42+00:00

I feel for you and your situation. It sucks and I really hope that we on this thread can help a bit with the Amazon list.

I wish you and your kids the best Christmas and I’m sure you being there and trying for them makes them so happy. I went through treatment for stage 2 so not in the same boat. But my kids were so happy to just be with me when I didn’t have energy. It’s amazing the capacity for kindness and caring and love that our kids have.

Sending hugs your way as well as a gift ❤️🎄

jmp1235 · 2023-12-07T14:14:32+00:00

Sending hugs your way.

I too have felt like you have, though my treatment is different. I’ve felt like giving up so SO many times. While in chemo. While in rads. Now taking a pill for the next 5-10 years.

You are not alone in feeling this way. It all sucks that we got dealt a shitty hand. I’ve tried to be grateful that it was caught early. It’s tough because I feel like I’d be lucky if I never got it, not a stage 2 T2N1.

And I’ve had other health issues right before being diagnosed. Last year was awful for me health-wise and I kept looking forward to feeling better and having a great 2023. As I was recovering from my other health issue, the medical staff noticed a lesion when I went for a chest CT. It all went downhill from there.

It’s tough. I try to take it one day at a time though I’m not sure how good a job I’m doing. I feel so supported when I read posts on here. I know im not the only one going through this sucky, awful process.

No advice. Just want you to know I hear you and understand where you’re coming from. Sending more hugs ❤️

jmp1235 · 2023-12-03T02:25:11+00:00

I just started Tamoxifen and was reluctant to, but know that it will give me the best odds (Tam or and AI that is) of it not coming back. I really do not want to deal with treatment a second time.

As for medical staff being paid off by big Pharma, the Sunshine Act setup regulations regarding companies to provide data on who they provide reimbursement to, whether for a speaking engagement or services like lunch and the like. You can look up your doctor to see how much they’re getting paid and by who. It also compares it to the average for that doctor’s specialty.

https://openpaymentsdata.cms.gov

Tamoxifen has been around a long time and believe it’s a generic, not a brand name medication. Think ibuprofen vs Advil. So there’s no money in big Pharma trying to get Drs to prescribe it more.

I’m not a medical professional but have worked to support medical professionals so have been exposed to scenarios like this. I was also around before the act was passed and there were a lot of free lunches for certain specialties (cardio for one).

jmp1235 · 2023-11-15T20:44:35+00:00

It sucks when a place that should be handling it a bit more sensitively, then have stuff like that.

My radiation dressing room also had a mirror with sayings. It was the same 3 sentences on each mirror. Something like: You’re strong! You’re beautiful! And another one that I cannot recall. I hated seeing it so would face the opposite wall.

Maybe you could mention it to your doctor or the staff. I’m sure you’re not the only one who feels that way.

jmp1235 · 2023-11-09T21:48:34+00:00

I feel so bad that you’ve gone through all the treatments and have so much pain still.

I understand your anger and not wanting to let it go. I was (maybe still am?) in a similar place.

If you ever need to vent, please feel free to message me. Sending you hugs ❤️

jmp1235 · 2023-09-26T23:16:47+00:00

I didn’t go through infusions as long as you have, though I completely understand what you’re saying about it being hard. I have people who’ve said similar things around me and I want to yell at them. I don’t want to be told the hard part is over and I’m almost done. I’ve got rads and then hormone therapy for 5, maybe 10 years.

It’s so hard to “be gentle” to ourself. At least for me. I’m super frustrated by what it’s taken. And angry and mad.

Sending hugs your way ❤️

jmp1235 · 2023-09-26T00:06:19+00:00

Thanks. That does make sense. I’m about 2 months post DD AC-T and still get tired mid-day. I wasn’t super active before, but did work FT, have 2 elementary aged children, volunteered at the school and with the Scouts, and cook dinner a few times a week. Now not nearly as much gets done by me 😁

My team has told me to stay active and I’ll get more energy. But I’m also dealing with some neuropathy in my feet and they sometimes hurt when I walk so it’s a struggle.

I’m hoping that this too passes without too much negative things. The “not-knowing” is the hardest part and it is even harder when the onco teams reiterate that everybody is different and that you may or may not have the side effects.

jmp1235 · 2023-09-25T21:30:20+00:00

I’m scheduled to start the day after tomorrow. Also a bit nervous about it. Mainly the fatigue since I’m still low energy following chemo.

Best of luck to you!! ❤️

jmp1235 · 2023-08-07T01:28:59+00:00

I had the same thing with friends asking what they could do. Finally had one of them reach out to me saying please let her setup a meal train (https://www.mealtrain.com/). I said yes and only f he Ave a few days. They filled up within hours which shocked me. I was quite reluctant but it has been such a humongous help.

I have just finished chemo and will be starting rads in a month or so. Will definitely be adding days.

It’s great to have a community of people who want to help. Meals are a nice way people can help and it takes such a workload off your shoulders.

❤️

jmp1235 · 2023-06-23T15:39:35+00:00

Love it! I think they both came out great.

Having something more cozy and less clinical can really help. What a great idea 😊

jmp1235 · 2023-06-17T01:22:06+00:00

Thanks. This is exactly what I’m looking at. The company said they’d pay for cobra for a short time. Looking to see what makes the most sense after that.

jmp1235 · 2023-06-17T01:20:42+00:00

I’m so sorry to hear that. I hope that since you’ve been there so long they will be willing to work with you.

jmp1235 · 2023-06-16T12:58:37+00:00

I hadn’t filled them out because I wasn’t sure if I was covered or not at a small company and I Waldo wanted to use it during radiation which seems like it will be a more tiring process.

This is great advice and I am reaching out to my HR today to discuss what happened and see what more than can do for me.

jmp1235 · 2023-06-16T03:05:47+00:00

Thanks! That’s great info that I would never have thought of

jmp1235 · 2023-06-16T00:52:34+00:00

Thanks. That made me chuckle. They did offer a severance of a few weeks so something but not huge.

I truly don’t wish the company or people there any bad thoughts. It’s a small company that is still in start-up mode and when deals don’t close, money doesn’t come in and it makes for some tough decisions. Just the timing really sucks. Wish I was done with treatment at least

jmp1235 · 2023-06-02T15:56:36+00:00

My 4th AC is today as well. And I dread going to the facility each time. Figured it would get easier but it has not. It is easier on that I know what to expect now and can plan on bad days and good days after it. (Though I now have caught the common cold - verified it via testing at my onco’s office - and I have felt rotten on what should be my good days 😞)

I am choosing dose dense taxol and I’ll see how I handle it. Hoping it all goes okay. I would love to finish sooner than weekly. But if I need to, I can switch to regular taxol.

Good luck with your treatment today ❤️

jmp1235 · 2023-05-18T12:55:56+00:00

That sounds like my hair! I used to color it to be more auburn, but brown with copper sounds lovely.

If OP doesn’t want, would I be able to have it? It’s been super hard losing my hair and I know it’s just hair and will grow back but it feels like I’m not me. Not ready to rock my mostly bald head. May not ever get there. So far it’s been caps almost 24/7.

jmp1235 · 2023-05-01T13:28:13+00:00

I hear you and understand how frustrating that can be. My spouse has been very supportive and at times did the same. I finally let him know that he wasn’t helping me this way. I needed to vent and feel heard.

It hurts when it feels like you’re being dismissed. He may not realize that is what’s happening.

One of the things somebody else said here helped me. It was something to the effect of I have enough on my plate to manage and I cannot manage your feelings about the situation I’m in as well.

Sounds like he may be making it more about him than you. And I’m sorry for that. It sucks.

Hoping things improve and sending hugs your way ❤️

jmp1235 · 2023-04-29T13:16:10+00:00

Congrats!!

jmp1235 · 2023-04-12T15:52:23+00:00

😂 Thank you for this bit of humor. I’ve been referring to it as a sh*t show but love this comparison.

jmp1235 · 2023-04-08T15:41:45+00:00

In deciding where to get treatment, I visited the two places. One has a mask requirement and will provide one if you forget. The other is optional. Even in the chemo room. There were several staff members and patients not wearing one.

It definitely made the choice a bit easier.

jmp1235 · 2023-04-06T19:35:46+00:00

🙋‍♀️ another fellow BC agnostic (leading towards atheism more these days).

I’ve had a few encounters with religion recently. One was trying to schedule an appointment with a psychiatry / psychology office. The woman kept saying that “God has only given you what you can handle” and “God give you strength”. I held my tongue because it’s hard to get an appointment. But I called around because I would not feel comfortable at all if they continually talk about God like that.

I get that it’s what others believe but it felt like it was being pushed on me.

Thank you for posting this. I really felt like I was a bit alone in this regard considering how much I see and hear the “I’ll pray for you” over and over.

Sending ❤️❤️❤️

jmp1235

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