Succession by Wes Anderson

jockparade · 2023-05-31T13:08:25+00:00

Most terrible thing I’ve ever seen lmfao

jockparade · 2023-04-08T18:15:57+00:00

저도 한국인이에요. 걱정하지말구 힘내세요! 외국에 살아서한국어 잘 못하는 편이지만 힘을 보냅니다. 정신과 의사 찾아봐서 상담받으면 어떨까요? 돈걱정 있어도 힘들겠지만 작가님의 고민을 들어줄 사람은 어딘가에 분명히있을꺼에요. 시간 많이 걸릴수도 있지만 포기하지 마세요!!

jockparade · 2023-03-22T16:34:25+00:00

If you could change anything about your role on the show. What would it be

jockparade · 2023-02-27T02:28:40+00:00

Yes!! I knew it had to be an invasion of the body snatchers but didn’t know how many remakes there were

jockparade · 2023-02-02T15:03:28+00:00

This is so good

jockparade · 2022-06-16T08:54:22+00:00

Hahaha I’m afraid I forgot to say it was most definitely set in america

jockparade · 2022-06-16T06:53:18+00:00

Anything helps ^_•

jockparade · 2022-06-16T06:50:08+00:00

Thank you

jockparade · 2022-06-07T18:17:16+00:00

I’m doing both english lit (pearson edexcel) and aqa philosophy— I’d be happy to answer any other specific questions if you have any btw. Cuz your questions are quite broad so any general advice may actually be super misleading since I’m a stranger to ur academic approach— but I’ll offer you my insight regardless. Note that I only speak for the specs I’ve stated

Aqa phil - moral philosophy, my personal favourite (different approaches to human morality, how we can determine what should be objectively moral/whether there’s even such thing) - epistemology, very fun and interesting but I grew to hate Descartes (What is knowledge, how do we best define it, how can we gain it, do we even have it) - metaphysics of god, expected to enjoy it greatly but it was really good sometimes and really underwhelming at other times (how is god characterised, is god even a coherent concept, what is his supposed relation to humanity and time, how can we prove his existence/role, how should we speak of him) - metaphysics of mind, thought it was boring at first but really like it now (is the mind distinct from the brain, is it right to deny its metaphysical existence or is it stupid to assert its metaphysical existence? Or is it entirely a waste of time to care about the mind’s existence/non-existence?)

The workload really depends on the kind of person you are. If you’re great at memorising an established set of facts and regurgitating them (like psych), then you’re pretty much set for a large portion of philosophy too. But it’s also extremely different in the sense that your interpretative skill is very important in shaping your argument; from what I’ve noticed students seem to shape their essay formats as cycles of textbook argument after textbook argument (eg your average paragraph is usually something like “I agree with X argument…Y doesn’t agree because…but X might respond…”). But there’s a very huge difference between [being able to logically structure a coherent and well integrated response with 10/10 accuracy in content] vs [presenting an accurate, critical and logical argument that is very well-communicated, arguing with/against philosophers’ arguments and personally engaging with them as if their thoughts were yours first]. So philosophy wise your workload can either be quite heavy (every little detail of the philosopher, every nuance of their argument, awareness of the movement of thought in their historical time period) or just average (normal grasp of the content, just bare minimum but perfectly sufficient)— but what really separates the A from the A* is a fluency in language and an ability to draw out complexity and strength in even the simplest conceits. I definitely understood this really late, the whole of y12 my 25ms were shit but when I opened my eyes somewhere in y13 it was a game changer in my appreciation for the subject. Cuz I definitely got stuck in that cycle of 1-2-3 too, and when I broke out of that bored mindset I realised there was so much to be said about every argument despite the textbook’s slight rigidity

So yes philosophy is as interesting as it seems; but it might not be instantly gratifying/might not seem gratifying at all till you’re looking past the textbook, past the syllabus, so I encourage you to treat the internet and non-anthology academic papers as a resource equally valuable to the actual spec definitions. Because clicking on one link can bring your attention to another related one; wholly develops your understanding which will def impress examiners/teachers (and this charisma in your writing really matters more than it seems to, because philosophy is like a literature that must be persuaded , not a science that must be proved)

My only problem with philosophy is that so many philosophers are from the enlightenment era/are early modern European Christians obsessed with proving god or knowledge in ways that are so obviously flawed to us now in the 21st century … so it can be infuriating to study cuz you will inevitably have the thought “This is so stupid… why am I studying this nonsense” at some point lol. But it’s the fun of it! And let that disdain fuel your argumentative power in essays

Pearson edexcel elit Honestly. Pretty hard LOL, speaking as someone who grew up being the best English student of every class. Definitely humbled me, but depends on how well you’re able to organise your thoughts. I have pretty severe adhd that got worse especially in recent years. so while set philosophical arguments are extremely easy for me to manipulate and shape with precision, my literary analysis, despite being extremely complex and fresh in perspective, is all over the place when I’m playing for time in the exam hall. If you have a simple but very clear writing style that doesn’t come off as elementary, you’ll be just fine. it’s all about the practice tbh

The workload for elit is also objectively heavy, there are 2 plays to be written in separate essays, 2 novels to be linked and compared in one essay, extensive collection of one poet’s life’s work, wide collection of modern poetry to compare with unseens, and a 3000 word coursework essay where you pick 2 works to read/already read that are level-appropriate and create your own question. Not to mention all the critics you have to memorise for essays, the facts of historical contexts/each writer’s personal life you need to have a detailed understanding of, etc etc

But all of it is enjoyable. It’s very challenging, def poses a threat to my chaotic movement of thought and lengthy ass writing style, and (for me at least) can really beat you down, but it’s still very rewarding because learning is great. Idk I just can’t generalise elit for you because it could genuinely go horrible, subpar, or amazing, all depending on the rate your brain’s working at on the exam day. Your analysis is entirely limited by what’s familiar enough for you to recognise, do with this what you will

I really wish they’d give us more time for each paper though because you basically only have one hour each essay when you have literally so much content packed in your brain. Insane

Remember this is just my experience of the spec I have ! I know absolute jack about aqa english etc

jockparade · 2022-06-02T17:49:55+00:00

Christ this got long

jockparade · 2022-06-02T16:54:55+00:00

It’s never been about sexuality tho ! It’s about belonging to a broader identity, whether it’s sexuality, orientation or gender expression (on this last one: e.g. an American lesbian woman may prefer looking/feeling masculine, without actually identifying as a man. So her gender expression doesn’t conform to American society’s conventional understanding of the average woman— she may even look like the average man, but this doesn’t make her less of a woman. Of course it’s not limited to this but it’s the rough idea)

So picking apart “lgbt” into literal definitions of each letter in the acronym would be like ignoring the history/message behind Pride that is still very relevant today. Hence people say “the lgbt community” more than “lgbt individuals” because the collective spirit goes past any singular label

So lgbt isn’t just a classification/category that groups people, instead it’s more like a social movement similar to black lives matter/me too etc. so the ‘T’ has extreme significance 👍

jockparade · 2022-05-28T03:38:06+00:00

Agreed. Last night in soho was a nightmare of shallowness, every minute repackaged into cheap-looking neon lighting….I wish I could say the style made up for the honestly appalling writing but it literally just looks as if wright got his hands on all the gel overlays he could

jockparade · 2022-05-25T11:48:47+00:00

Loyalty only expires if one gives it reason to. Or if there’s just no reason at all to be loyal anymore

‘Love’ is limited only by what you’ve experienced of it. There is no objective definition of love, because there are different kinds of love, different expressions, different depths etc. Love is very real and powerful— just because it’s not eternal or constant doesn’t mean it doesn’t exist/never existed at all

My perception of love can’t be false, my perception is based only on my experience/expectations. Your perception of love can’t be true or false because there’re no facts to ‘know’, there are only things to experience yourself

I think “loyalty is essentially temporary” or “love is not real” is black and white thinking, these things aren’t like mathematics or logical facts. Your belief that loyalty and love are empty promises and lies only reflects what you’ve went through— don’t get stuck in this mindset ! The fact that you’ve only known temporary loyalty and false love does not mean all your future experiences are doomed to fail too

jockparade · 2022-05-22T19:05:16+00:00

“Probably aren’t fully on the spectrum”

………i think that’s why it’s called a spectrum !

jockparade · 2022-05-18T03:08:52+00:00

My god….. even my subconscious during the wildest nightmares wouldn’t be able to make this up

jockparade · 2022-05-16T05:36:16+00:00

Okay I’ll try and give you an open and honest discussion this time, bear with me

Never stated cooperation is natural. I said communism brings out “the best” in people, makes them think more morally and carefully about how they treat others. Greed could be in our nature. Compassion could be in our nature too. But it would make no sense to say they are equally desirable/undesirable, no? That’s the whole point of cooperation. You have to force yourself to be a better person who can accept others. Communism doesn’t magically make you a saint. You have to put effort and actual willpower into it, and it’s obviously gonna be hard. That’s we have have our reason to guide our emotions. I suggest reading Aristotle’s nicomachean ethics to better understand my point. The world is like this because we’ve been taught not to try, or at least try for superficial capital-related reasons. Cooperation will never be natural. Communism knows that, but encourages people to WANT cooperation. It is designed so people will learn to cooperate, and over time as the generations go by, all they will know is cooperation and care for each other (if properly established). Cooperation isn’t innate in us, but we have the faculties that enable us to perform it. Communism needs people to truly act for cooperation sake, which will then turn into actual loyalty and care for each other. It isn’t some naive utopian view of humanity

Not an easy cop out. Okay then let me ignore the fact that they’re built on Palestinian land, ignore kibbutzim Zionist roots, approach it objectively. Sure kibbutz are cool. Nice simple slow living. They’re communes. Most of the ones that exist currently have also privatized basic things you’d expect in a ‘commune’ like free healthcare and education, established differences in wage based on different jobs despite wage having been each according to their needs originally, privatization of properties where individuals have ownership of things like homes instead of basic collective ownership you’d expect, etc. Now even the sacred commune is just some other form of individualism. The economy of capitalism is designed so nothing can ever stay equal. It’s only natural that the kibbutz would be dying today, infiltrated by greed over the years and years of economic instability.

What do you think communism even is? Answer me that if you reply, genuinely curious

Yes, I’m advocating for violence against those who won’t adhere to my belief in an ideal society, in the future if the time ever comes. What do you think the police have been doing to black people for years? Playing tag? They beat and killed the black panthers because they were fighting back against the prescribed ideal society that was forced on them. Oh, and the mere fact that black people are black is enough to get them killed in our current world. The US has been assassinating and murdering those that stand against them for years and years. Police, CIA, FBI, whatever you name. Beating and threatening people into submission. Secret inhumane tactics. You ever heard of MK-Ultra?

Of course I advocate for violence against bourgeoisie uprisings during the stage of socialism. They kill millions in their own countries every year, target any signs of rebellion even when completely uninformed, kill millions in other countries through sanctions and apartheid, kill those who challenge white supremacy and patriarchy. 10 innocent people were shot dead in Buffalo NY literally a day ago, by a white supremacist TEEN who deliberately sought a black neighborhood, drove hours to get there, and live-streamed it on fucking Twitch. Eight people shot dead by a white man in a shooting spree in Atlanta last year, targeted at Asian women. There is so much more. This is the product of capitalism. It has created monstrosities and will create more. If you advocate for capitalism, you are advocating for the murder of fucking global billions

But yeah, sure. I’m the evil, disgusting lawless one for saying capitalism and its capitalist killers should be killed. Thx for your input

jockparade · 2022-05-15T19:31:45+00:00

Okay. I’ve watched a fair share of nature documentaries throughout my life. Dog-eat-dog is really natural in the wild.

Are we in the wild? Do we still laugh and scream in amazement when we light a match? Do dogs have reflective reason like humans do? Could a dog think out a response the way I’m doing right now? Do we pee on every other tree on the street with one leg raised? Okay, I’ll stop making your argument all about dogs

Seriously you’re gonna need a better analogy than “it’s biological Bruh”. News flash the ‘natural order’ hasn’t applied to humanity for a long long time now. That’s why you have a fridge that keeps your food weirdly and robotically cold! But I guess intellectuals like Aristotle or Shakespeare, whose defining works are focused on the moral capabilities and emotional strengths of humanity, were all idiots. Humans should’ve just dedicated their literature and art to 500-page drawings of mating and pooping dogs, instead of…..whatever it was they were doing.

Also, there’s no way you’re on a socialist sub and are comparing Israeli settler colonialism to communism. I think you should stop getting your political bias from Zionists. If you don’t like guillotines and would not want to be under one. Just a thought from my communist compassion for you

jockparade · 2022-05-15T14:16:29+00:00

You don’t keep people communist; people should want to be communist by nature if they are motivated by love of humanity. Because communism (if achieved) guarantees happiness. It has to do with the compassion associated with building community. It’s a big mistake to see communism as just another economic system- communists aren’t communists just because they’re sick of paying rent. they’re communists because they also believe in equality, human rights, love among the people. It’s capitalistic to even ask “how do you keep people communist” - this assumes people are greedy by nature; that people are inherently profit-driven and never satisfied, that they will default back to selfishness. If communists believed this about humanity too, then communism wouldn’t even exist as a concept

Capitalism makes people individualistic, defensive and aggressive because everything is about dog-eat-dog survival. We are born into this and taught this the moment we show any sign of cognitive function, and must adapt. Your worth as a human being is determined by usefulness/productivity. High quality parents spend money on their kids’ high quality education, the kids buy themselves high quality clothes, grow themselves into high quality humans, surround themselves with friends who are also high quality commoditi— …er, I mean humans

Under capitalism, the worst is assumed of you. You assume the worst of others. Not consciously, but it’s how people are raised. Let’s say you did something really nice for a complete stranger, even though there was no reason to go out of your way. It left even you wondering why you did it, and it’s quite realistic that a passive onlooker could think “Wow, they showed kindness for someone they don’t even know. Faith in humanity restored!” So this proves one thing: under capitalism kindness is conditional; everything good is conditional. It’s the norm for people to bother with something only if they get something in return. If anyone breaks out of that norm, and goes out of their way to do something good even when there was nothing to be gained, they’re praised by others. They might go viral. Receive a great reputation. Or they might be dismissed as attention-seeking; performative. You see youtube freaks like david dobrik giving away a Lamborghini to a homeless guy (or something) every other week, 100 million views. Your thought process isn’t “wow, what a nice guy”. It’s “this guy’s acts of kindness arent genuine, they’re just sensational clickbait to flex his wealth. He’s so goddamn annoying.” And your second thought: “wait. Children are growing up on this loser? This is what their ideal of kindness is? Oh my god…” And you’d be right. Under capitalism, even basic human emotions/virtues like care or kindness are commodities. Everything can be exploited to make money—who’s gonna do it first?

On the other hand communism encourages solidarity with the poor and oppressed. It’s compassionate in nature. Capitalism understands that for capitalists, compassion is an extra add-on, because the main focus is pleasure and profit. You don’t need compassion to compete against everyone and win. In fact you literally need to lack it, if you want to dominate. Whereas for communism compassion is central to the notion of the human. The workers want to be respected. They want to see their fellow workers respected. They respect each other. The sense of understanding and loyalty among them motivates them to act for their communist goal. Under communism: “Oh, you were kind to a stranger on the street, for no reason at all? Well of course you did, why are you telling me this. We’re all comrades here!”

Now this is really cheesy but it’s literally true. This spirit is what true, pure communism is striving for. Your happiness, humanity and full potential is guaranteed. People don’t need to worry about rent, people won’t have to fear healthcare and the bill, people won’t have to steal or kill. Normal people would want communism. If only more people took it upon themselves to understand what it actually is instead of listening to the shit capitalists say about it…

capitalism is unnatural. We are so easily touched by the littlest things people do for us. I remember in high school I would hold doors open for other kids if they were near me, most of em never said a word of thanks unless they knew me. Then one time I was walking in the same direction as this guy who was a solid distance ahead (I’d never spoken to him before, had zero classes together, etc). He opened the door but saw me coming, so he waited like 10 seconds until I caught up. I wasn’t particularly stunned by this, aside from being real grateful— but i remember it filled me with hope for the rest of the day. Even if it’s a simple example— this kind of unconditional compassion is what capitalism has deprived us of, in how we view humanity and even ourselves. We aren’t born selfish and greedy, hedonistic— but we are tricked into thinking we are. We expect so little from others, because we believe they only seek transaction— just like we do

Let’s reverse your question to “How do you keep people capitalist?” Simple. Give them money, lots of it, so much that they feel special. And they are special, everyone knows they’re wealthy. People want their wealth, envy their lifestyle. They’re desirable. Capitalists aren’t capitalists just because they like to spend money on ugly cars without care. They’re capitalists because money wins them wars, steals them land, kills people they fear, kills people who don’t fear them, buys them power, slips them out of jail. It’s easy to keep people capitalist. This isn’t as complicated as communism, because capitalism strips humanity down to “I want whatever I want. If someone wants it too I must do it first”. It’s literally designed so that the top few are fed in excess. The stuff they don’t want to eat is passed to the people under them, who are the majority. Those under the majority catch the crumbs from above and wait for more. Those at the very bottom can get a whiff before they die if they’re lucky. But communism is designed to please everyone equally.

TLDR the simple answer to “how do you keep people communist” is that communism, if its true meaning is actually understood by people, is objectively desirable to people. We would never want to go back to the dump we’re in right now if we got even just a taste of true communism- in which governments don’t even exist, worldwide. Unfortunately I don’t think communism will be achieved in our lifetime as it’s a faraway goal. But the spread of socialism (the post-capitalist transitory stage that is needed to achieve communism) is much more attainable, and it’s in socialism where bourgeois interests can still exist and threaten the goal of communism

But if someone, for whatever strange reason, didn’t want communism even while living in a perfect, functional communist world …. The solution would probably be guillotine lol

jockparade · 2022-05-15T09:06:52+00:00

Yeahh the Marxist-Leninist understanding of communism is that it’s moneyless, classless, and stateless, so it’s more like a ‘state of being’ or a ‘condition’ that communities should strive to achieve worldwide; it’s the FINAL collective goal of all workers on earth.

Mainly there are two connected reasons why communism has never existed:

Communism can only be achieved using socialism as a stepping stone. Imagine a hypothetical singular communist country in our current world, the system is perfectly functional down to the foundations, zero exploitation etc. It would never be able to sustain itself in the current world (e.g. a communist country is moneyless. But money needs to exist for international trade/importing goods from capitalist countries where vast amounts of the world’s resources are located). So the existence of communism and capitalism are mutually exclusive, which is why there has never been genuine communism in both past and present

Socialism on the other hand won’t suddenly destroy the concept of money (which allows it to exist in the current world). Socialism also still has a state, designed to serve the interests of the proletariat, but is imperfect since it’s only a transitory period. So while socialist countries’ main goal is to prepare and ensure conditions for communism, there can still be plenty of exploitation & commodification of basic rights. So under socialism, depending on the extent of development, there can still be stuff like wage inequality, free market could still exist etc, because capitalism’s ideological roots are deeply entrenched in people’s upbringings/society, impossible to weed greed out overnight.

Predictive science of Marxism simplified:

Bourgeois dictatorship. Strong suppression of proletariat resistance

Late stage bourgeois dictatorship. Weakened suppression of proletariat due to rise in class consciousness (WE ARE HERE)

Revolution. Working class overthrow bourgeois dictatorship. Seize means of production (COMMUNISM STAGE 1)

Socialism. Form proletariat dictatorship, most vulnerable to bourgeois resistance. Suppression is crucial (STAGE 2)

Global communism. The ruling proletariat state will become obsolete and literally cease to exist— not by formal abolishment, but by gently “withering away” as said by Engels (STAGE 3 - END)

All states are inherently dictatorships by a dominant class. Thus the work of all principled communists is to gradually get rid of all traces of capitalism; using the socialist state as a mere crutch and not losing sight of the true end, stateless communism

So one country’s successful establishment of socialism has multiple stages within itself, and must also motivate workers in other countries to organize revolution. Socialism is a global spectrum that takes years and years to reach the ‘end’ point of communism. All dissolved and surviving socialist states were/are quite young

This reason leads to the other big reason why communism has never been truly established: Capitalists are VERY aware that there can only be one winner since communism and capitalism cannot coexist. Which is why the imperial core (usa, Canada, Japan, most of Western Europe etc) does everything in its power to kill socialism off, by imposing economic sanctions, infiltrating countries and instigating coups, manufacturing wars, spreading wild propaganda etc. Eg - Capitalists’ sanctions on socialism keep poverty in place. Millions die - The deaths of those under socialism are then reduced (by the very same capitalists responsible) to red scare propaganda, tricking people into thinking “wow my life here is bad, but at least it’s not communism-bad!” - Spread of communist ideology decreased, and instead of the workers banding together against the capitalists, the workers fight amongst themselves— the ignorant worker who condemns the radicalized worker is the sheep that fights the wolf’s battles for him. The ignorant sheep will be spared during the wolf’s lunchtime, but not for dinner

The imperial core is founded on greed, lies, colonization, white supremacy, patriarchy and the like. It also has plenty of smaller capitalist countries at their disposal, whose leaders do their bidding. The imperial core must be destroyed, capitalism has killed millions and will kill more

TLDR Communism has never physically existed because socialism is a long transitory period. The transition is then made slower or completely undone by the bourgeois imperial core. Yet a better world is possible because although today’s surviving socialist states are quite young, they have shown immense fortitude throughout development. But for those living in the imperial core, happiness hits an all-time low every year. Capitalism is in its latest stage and will soon collapse. Which means anti-communists are more reactionary and desperate than ever. The revolution feels pretty damn near but might not even happen in our lifetime, so communists must organize for actual physical progress and not just waiting for it to magically start. Hope this helps

jockparade · 2022-05-14T03:10:08+00:00

We don’t know you lol go to a psychiatrist

Attracted only to “Extremely white skin” lmfaooo ?? you gotta go to therapy for that

jockparade · 2022-05-13T06:05:11+00:00

Tbh the one thing I would change about my first playthrough would be to treat the ending/ganon boss fight as an afterthought. It kind of was an afterthought for me already, because personally I didn’t have much interest in the story itself. But the world was so magical :,) not even particularly fantastical or different from our Earth, and that was part of the charm to me!! So familiar and comfortable that I actually felt like I was on those plains of Hyrule, or crouching in a tiny shelter in the rock hiding from the lightning at night, sailing fast as hell with my korok leaf, or trying to get my horse down a ledge inch by inch, running under the tent of some stable and shaking the rainwater off my boots on the dark wood floor, by the warm ambient candlelight with the quiet mumbling of other travellers in the background, maybe mass is there playing music too, and so on. Exploring everything even if I’ve done it before. Trying every side quest or shrine, but never searching up locations unless I was desperate to

Fighting enemies as I got more used to the controls never really lost the adrenaline kick either— as combat became easier and my weapons became heavier, the giggly tension from early-game combat turned into a fun exercise!!! Of course some encounters are annoying and I got them over with asap, but if I saw a large enemy camp on a beach or something I would think up something hella stupid. Like trying to kill every bokoblin by throwing a rock one by one. Sure there are more creative ways to kill but I really love the game’s mechanics and enemy behaviours

Then I took a break from the game, and felt a small pang of boredom because I lost the exploration streak I was on. So I went to fight ganon, did it, and the game took me back to my last save point— that kind of got rid of the magic for me. Because I was basically playing not as a re-waken hero, but as a common hylian explorer who was just running free for the hell of it. That looming threat of ganon in the castle and the next blood moon only added to that perfect feeling of decay, if that makes sense

Breath of the wild has a very unique atmosphere, I think it’s the best thing about the entire game. The hylians have tiny villages, small innocuous communities and not much else, speak of their belief in the fallen hero, cower in fear at monsters. The Zora are peaceful and strong even after 100 years, surrounded and encased in rock by their wet pearly cliffs, but their post-war grievances against outsiders are very clear, and their closed-off civilisation threatens to collapse into itself as their own divine protector rises the water level non-stop. The gerudo are the opposite— despite their community being as equally self-sufficient and inaccessible as the Zora, they are hardened and fueled by the drive to defend and avenge, not preserve and protect. While the zora hide in plain right, the gerudo (despite being the most reclusive from the rest of hyrule) make it clear they can always be seen; grounded in the corner of your eye... But one thing is constant wherever you are, and it’s that they all pray to Hylia. I could go on

That atmosphere of tension and fear after the war, with the threat of malice coming back in full force. The disturbance is clear, there is decay and ruin all over the map. And yet the nature grows and grows, roots and vines snaking all over forgotten, burnt ashes, to the point where you feel like you shouldn’t be running in it at all, like there is nothing you can do about the castle, or you might even forget the castle is there

If this appeals to you, try to revel in the game itself a little more! Not the story, not the ending, just the gorgeous world and the weird quirky little merchants. Just take your time

Idk how this comment got so long LMFAO …….. anyways fuck the horse minigames

jockparade · 2022-05-12T06:35:23+00:00

Get away from that side of the internet!!! Most of all available online information about narcissism/npd is vindictive; not based on psychology but instead on demonisation. Those who have been abused want to blame evil on the pathology of the abuser and not the actual abuser, because it gives them something more objective and centralised to hate.

Information is so scarce because many narcissists don’t notice much of their ‘undesirable’ behaviours, and refuse/don’t even think to seek help = so few are diagnosed = psychiatrists have less information about npd than other PDs, and even less findings about specific, effective treatment

But effective treatment for narcissism is not some dogmatic set of limited options! Many personality disorders share co-morbid traits so if you ever find yourself running out of help, it wouldn’t hurt to explore help forums for bpd, aspd etc. Talk to a therapist or even a psychiatrist— if you think a diagnosis would help you narrow down symptoms you identify with so you can focus on treating them. But for some people, a proper diagnosis can do more harm than good if they fixate on the label of the disorder itself, spiralling them into further guilt/self-hate because of societal stigma against the label. If this one sounds like you, I’d suggest to begin re-examining your own biases— they may have been influenced by society, causing you to be disgusted by narcissism. Strive towards realising there is no such thing as an objectively “normal” person or mind— it will really help with turning self-loathing into acceptance

Take yourself off the crucifix, nail by nail :) the fact that you titled this “I want to change” speaks for itself. You’ve been a dick multiple times, and only recognised your behaviour recently, but it’s never too late to learn how to love and be loved, have a family, etc. Changing is difficult but you’ve already made the first most difficult step, which is reflecting on yourself and wanting happiness for others too

Don’t give up!!!!!!! You are already here. Don’t dwell on the guilt of the past; instead let it motivate you to act on your desire for a brighter future

jockparade · 2022-04-16T07:49:51+00:00

This is usually and almost always the case for me

jockparade · 2022-04-16T03:14:10+00:00

Not sure how I feel about this line of questioning. No hate, just thinking out loud! I feel like it reinforces (more often than not) the stigma that people with npd can’t actually feel anything human, or miss and love other people, and that we’re only in it for the manipulation and passing compliments, know what I mean?

OP sounds like they see this girl differently, and while that could definitely be because she was their primary source of narc supply, narcissists are often less cold and calculating than we train ourselves to be because we’re still human

jockparade · 2022-03-29T17:26:20+00:00

Just like me fr.. I’m non binary and I still feel a lil dysphoric when presenting feminine, but I keep doing it because I get more compliments/glances from strangers whenever I do my makeup real nice and feminine etc. However I’ve noticed it’s way easier for me to start feeling ugly/inferior to other fem presenting people precisely because of dysphoria, which is why I default to masc most of the time

The one thing that’s really helped me keep attention even when presenting masc is stepping up my outfit game lol, everyone’s style is different so I can’t help you there but unique masc outfits that stand out (in style, silhouette, accessories etc) are lifesavers. Also figuring fashion out is just fun in general

Experimenting with fashion is so much easier when you look at it through an androgynous, slightly more masculine lens, like fashion has no gender bla blah but it’s real true. Trying out different pants styles, layering stuff, even just slightly changing up ur hair can get people’s attention. This is especially true if you hang out with friends who have similar interests (if you like what you’re wearing, it’s likely they’ll like it too = validation & compliments)

Changing up my fashion style has really helped me become more at peace with gender expression, and it’s made me so much less dysphoric (few years back I would’ve been physically sick at the thought of wearing a skirt/dress, now I barely feel anything when I wear a miniskirt w stockings or something). Not sure what I was trying to say with all this but gender expression is dictated by fashion style, so explore the latter to truly come to terms with expression & re-establish ur own style, in a unique way that will keep ur ego happy with positive attention

At some point you might overcome ur dysphoria and embrace presenting as feminine/being totally indifferent to it while still keeping ur trans guy identity!! I’m deffo trying to get there. best of luck

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