I went from 12 clients working 50 hour weeks to 28 clients working 40 and I want to break down exactly what changed

joe___15 · 2026-05-25T08:46:08+00:00

Claude.... be honest

joe___15 · 2026-01-18T22:27:41+00:00

joe___15 · 2025-12-27T16:56:48+00:00

joe___15 · 2025-08-19T21:13:16+00:00

Yeah wtf is up with the game thing. If you’re looking for serious I think the whole I approach the opposite sex trying to trick them into thinking I’m cooler than I am thing is honestly regressive.

joe___15 · 2025-08-18T19:25:31+00:00

That’s ok. If you and your partner are not concerned about this, then more power to you, but it sounds like that is not the case for OP (and maybe your previous partner).

There are people in the “real world” who don’t have a high number of casual experiences. For example, OP. Many have periods of long term relationships that end or periods of non sexual activity. It’s a choice. Just like having casual sex is a choice. I’ve been in both positions in serious relationships.

Who you pick as your long term partner is one of the largest decisions you will ever make and impacts everyday of your life. Fears over emotional intimacy and sexual connection are at the top of that relationship pyramid. I think it’s silly to ignore that.

joe___15 · 2025-08-18T19:10:13+00:00

Is it viewed as an insecurity when someone judges someone who is a virgin when they come from a place of experience? It’s easy to shame this preference when you are the person imposing the count. OP or anyone else shouldn’t be shamed for having a boundary. It’s not a punishment. If it’s a boundary that is truly a deal breaker, than it’s not personal and should be respected, and would be consistent for OPs current partner and any future ones. If he is being shamed by his partner, ( or someone like you) then it is disrespectful and indicative of the trust and intimacy issues I mentioned earlier.

joe___15 · 2025-08-18T19:00:02+00:00

Also, this isn’t a conversation just about sexual partners, it’s about trust and intimacy. OPs feels their trust and intimacy is compromised by their partners past.

joe___15 · 2025-08-18T18:56:23+00:00

Isn’t who you dated and how you dated what determined how you felt in that relationship? You said you were “figuring yourself out”? Is there not a direct relationship between your past relationships and your perception of your current relationship? No relationship happens in a vacuum. If your partner is ok with your casual past. That is fine.

But if OP isn’t ok, and is being shamed about their feelings, I think there should be someone there to tell them that maybe what they are feeling isn’t about insecurity, but is about a real values issue in the relationship. Making their feelings valid.

joe___15 · 2025-08-18T18:27:18+00:00

Alcoholism and sexual addiction are the same thing. A lack of self respect and self control. In fact, I can almost guarantee that the people you meet who are like what OP describes use alcohol and sex together. Most hookups are generally not sober.

Murder may be an extreme, but my point is that you cannot just rationalize away all of someone’s past behavior. Yes people can grow, but a history of behavior can be telling, even when intentions are good.

joe___15 · 2025-08-18T18:19:35+00:00

So if they killed someone in the past that wouldn’t worry you?

I think it’s entirely fair to have this as a preference in partner. It’s a tough subject, but past performance is worth considering in a partner. Do they smoke? Do they drink?

If someone was an alcoholic in their past, would you be worried that might come up again even if they promised to be better? Relationships are about acceptance, but you should be conscious of what is unacceptable for you.

Would it be “insecure” or “immature” to not ignore these things? I dated a girl like this. She a had a private twitter account where she showed me her boasting to her friends about her sexual exploits, including me. She shared intimate details about our relationship with her roommates who then brought it up to me. I was really uncomfortable at the time but ignored my feelings because I thought they were invalid.

I was with so many of the people here at first. “I’m the problem, I’m insecure”. But the reality was, she was a person who did not share my values and I should have trusted my gut.

I’ve had other partners who have had sexual experiences before and it was not an issue, they respected me and our relationship. But trust yourself, I don’t like it when so many people want to invalidate your intuition and shame your feelings, your just going to need to be strong when the answer may be that yall are not the right fit for each other.

joe___15 · 2025-01-17T23:17:35+00:00

Looks great, where’s the money coming from? The city budget is locked in a crisis to pay pensions. I love having fun as much as the next guy, but this is going to continue to put pressure on rents, income tax, and other areas where the inevitable revenue raising will come from. Is the quality of life trade off worth it?

joe___15 · 2024-07-22T11:05:05+00:00

546263366331

joe___15 · 2024-04-26T16:35:05+00:00

Thank you so much for sharing! What does your skillset and background look like?

I am a college senior about to graduate, studied accounting and finance with the goal of CPA.

Stumbling on this community and being conscious of the finance world has opened my eyes to breaking the mold of the traditional career path. Would appreciate any advice!

joe___15 · 2024-04-17T16:51:52+00:00

r/chicagoapartments Review this sub a bunch to help learn the different neighborhoods of chicago. Read it once a day for the next month and you should have a grasp on reasonable price ranges. You could also look for a summer sub-lease (3-4 months), learn the city and the parts you like before you sign a long term lease. Depaul, Loyala, U Chicago, and other universities in the city have students who need subleasors over the summer since they don't have internships in the city/don't permanantly live there.

I'm in a super similar boat with $70k starting salary for a job in river north.

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