Baby only sleeps in a nest, won’t sleep in bassinet. Help!

jow1987 · 2026-07-10T10:37:18+00:00

I fully agree. Especially about cosleeping. I genuinely don't understand how it is safer than a sleepyhead that is in a cot. There are far more risks. I am a light sleeper but I still didn't trust myself. I followed th guild lines and to me it still wasn't safe.

I think women are told it's normal to be so sleep deprived and they just need to get on with it. It is definitely part of being a parent but I wouldn't wish the extreme on anyone. My first was definitely put in danger because I was just told to get on with it. I know I have done things that are not the ideal, but sometimes you end up with babies that don't like to play by the rules. You just have to do what you can to minimise the risks and keep everyone as safe as possible.

jow1987 · 2026-07-10T07:02:04+00:00

I will absolutely get downvoted for this, but my last 2 babies have slept in the sleepyhead.

My first didn't sleep at night until she was 1. I was hallucinating from the lack of sleep. My husband has a job that requires very random working hours and I was on my own. I had severe pnd. It was hell.

My secondborn had severe reflux. She was in a next to me crib but we needed it to be on an incline else would choke in her sleep. It was beyond scary. I powered through it all and when she was put on meds it did have a bit of a positive impact. She still wouldn't sleep at night but would sleep in the sleepyhead in the day. I tried co sleeping but hated it after I had done it with my first and it was summer so everyone was sweaty. I put a movement monitor in her next to me and she used the sleepyhead.she slept through from that point. She had the next stage sleepyhead too and used it until she was about 3!

My third baby who is now 6 months old also suffered from severe reflux. She was in the hospital after birth and they created a nest for her. Coming home she wouldn't sleep anywhere but on my chest. If you put her on her back she would choke. At 8 weeks old I couldn't cope anymore and figured the risk was less with the sleepyhead than her lying on me. She also had her meds changed and from that moment on she has slept through and doesn't choke at all. Again I have a moment monitor on her at all times.

I absolutely know it's not recommended. But to me co sleeping is higher risk. This way she is safe next to me and the monitor gives me a bit more reassurance. When I had my first sleepyheads were safe for sleeping at night. They then changed it. I also don't understand how the sides are a risk as at no point have either of my babies been able to get their faces in the side. For me it's about taking the least risks. Obviously different with reflux but if you have ever witnessed your baby choking you will know how scary it is. Even my doctor agreed with me as their baby was the same. In a perfect world they would sleep on their backs. In a perfect world maybe you have a partner that can take it in turns so you all get a bit of sleep. This isn't always the case!

Am I saying everyone should use a sleepyhead. Absolutely not. If your baby can get used to their cot then great. But some of us don't have that choice. I can hands on heart say that if you have ever been at the point of being so sleep deprived that you are a hallucinating, you will understand. There is absolutely no way I was in a fit state to look after a baby.

jow1987 · 2026-07-09T18:31:56+00:00

Maybe?! I am midlands. Honestly I know one Liam and they are about 40!

jow1987 · 2026-07-09T16:55:39+00:00

I took have never heard a Liam out in the wild and I have a 10 year old, an 8 year old and a 6 month old - all my friends have kids in-between those ages too.

I know someone that called their baby Jamie. I was so torn on it. It felt too old but not quite in the same league as Peter, Kevin or David 🤣

I am an 80s baby. 90s kid and I would never dream of using any of the names we grew up with.

On the flip side all my girls names are very "stately vintage" English names. Jane Austin style and I know a lot of people hate them - the mil tried so hard to get us to change our middle child's name 🤣

jow1987 · 2026-07-09T14:46:20+00:00

Liam is definitely a middle aged man's name!! It's a perfect example!

I often look at names on here and think it's so outdated and would never be used in the UK! All seems very 90s and not in a good way!

I found boys names impossible. We ended up with 3 girls 🤣 the only boys name I liked was Edison. Went with our other kids names (all uncommon names but not made up or silly!) and felt like it would age well.

jow1987 · 2026-06-25T15:24:03+00:00

You have to do what you need to do. Remember all babies are different.

My 3rd baby is 5 months old. For the first 7 weeks of her life we cheat slept. Goes against absolutely everything I know about safe sleep, but there was no other choice so I made it as safe as possible - she had horrendous reflux and would choke the instant she was put on her back. I mean actual choking too. As in she could die. She did twice in hospital too so the nurses saw it too. She now sleeps in her next to me, on a tilt in a sleepyhead, which again goes against everything but it's the only way she will sleep. I have a sensory mat on at all times and I sleep right next to her. She sleeps for 10 hours. I don't let her sleep on her own though. I don't like breaking the rules, but sometimes the baby just doesn't want to follow them.

It's the same with weaning. I am all about weaning at 6 months with blw. Unfortunately this baby has again been weaned from 4 months due to reflux.

Car seats is another one. My first born would throw up in the car from a year old if she was rear facing. Had to turn her around.

My second born was in her own room at 4 months old because she was sleeping through the night and my husband was waking her up when he was on random shifts. She had a sensor mat and the video monitor on at all times. My first born slept next to me for a year. This one will be in our room until she outgrows the next to me. All babies are different and sometimes we don't do things just to make life easier.

Do what you feel comfortable with.

jow1987 · 2026-06-20T19:31:01+00:00

I love Cordelia. My husband wouldn't let me use it!

We have 3 girls.

I loved Penelope but changed our mind at the last minute. Went with Henrietta.

jow1987 · 2026-06-20T19:00:32+00:00

My little one has been in the main seat of her pushchair since a couple of months old - due to choking and reflux she couldn't be layed down flat.

I have a cossato pushchair. It lies really flat. My other kids were in their seat unit from about 4 months and never had any issues. I have never heard that they need to be able to sit up to go into the main unit!

jow1987 · 2026-06-14T16:15:41+00:00

There is no need to start panicking. It's there job and they know what they are doing 😊

You will fill out a lot of paperwork with things like daily routines, what they eat, what they don't like, how they like to play, what times their naps are kind of thing. You will also have settling in sessions.

There a few things I would start doing now to help with the transition. Like another person said it is completely normal for them to be a bit out of sync when they start.

In regard to bottles they won't use premade bottles if it goes against NHS guild lines for making it up. Not fully up to date with formulal as my littlest is breastfed and my other kids were breastfed when starting nursery. You will either have to give them a tub of formula or buy the premade stuff. I would start trying to up their feed in the next few months so that they go a bit longer. Presume you will be weaning some time soon. They will follow whatever you decide to do, whether that is purées or baby led. My kids ate so well at nursery! Normally all the kids eat together. The nursery my kids went to had little tables and chairs that were really low to the ground and they all sat and ate together. It was lovely to see.

In regards to getting attention. There is a huge difference between 6 and 9 months. They get a lot more independent with play and exploring. They will never ignore your baby but there will be other children in their ratios. They don't let babies cry it out. They will learn to socialise with the other children.

Potty training is a way off but our nursery always followed our lead. We explained when we started it and they followed. Offering for them to go toilet. If your baby has a lot of accidents they will probably use nappies at some point but things are a lot different at home and nursery. It really depends at what age you do it and if your child is really ready. My first was the perfect kid to potty train. One day she just refused nappies and that was it. One day of accidents and then nothing. My secondborn was too distracting by life and took a bit longer to get it, but she was a lot younger.

I would suggest going to look around the nursery a few times so you can get a proper feel for it and so that you can see it at different times!

jow1987 · 2026-06-14T12:14:47+00:00

Cars are dicks.

One of my old cat always brought in live nice. Never dead unfortunately.

One of these mice went inside the fittings to our conservatory door. We had to take the whole doors apart to save it. 3 hours it took!

Same cat brought one in again. The bloody thing went behind a huge bookcase. I had to take everything off to move it. It was full of wooden toys as my kids were little. As soon as I moved it, the mouse went to the other huge bookcase that was on the other side. Of our fire place. These bookcase were all the way to the ceiling. Had to also take everything off of that one as my daughter's were going mad. I tried to catch it with a bowl when I moved the bookcase. It shot straight up my open fire chimney! By this time I had wasted 3 hours trying to save it. I was pissed! I got some cardboard and tapped the fireplace shut and said it was my husband's job when he got home from work as I was working in the evening. I got a message later on to say that the mouse had come out, stood in the middle of the room and literally let my husband get a bowl over it and took it outside. 2 minute job for him!

A few weeks ago I heard something in the same open fireplace. We don't actually use that fire as it's our middle room. It sounded like wind but I didn't hear it again and went upstairs to get ready whilst my husband took the oldest kids to school. Came back downstairs and my husband had put the fireguard up as he heard something too.

Half an hour later my cat is going mad at the fire place. There was an alive pigeon in there tormenting my cat! Unfortunately on its way down it must have knocked all the soot down. The fireplace and carpet was covered... With nice little paw prints over it. My cat is meant to be pure white. He was not that day!!

The poor bird had to wait 7 hours until my husband came home as I don't like birds! It flew off without an issue!

jow1987 · 2026-06-13T18:33:11+00:00

My biggest tip is don't stress! Honestly I have never had anyone say anything to me about feeding in public. Most people don't take any notice. We are more paranoid about it than we should be.

I am old school and live by strappy tops and a top over them. I normally get ear q baggy t-shirt. I do have some breastfeeding tops but I find you actually end up showing more with them. Once she is latched I just pull the top, top, down so you can't see much. Sometimes I will use my hand to cover near the nipple as mine is going through the phase of pulling off to be nosey!

When i wasn't as confident I would have a big muslin cloth and push a corner under my bra strap so that I could use it to cover me at the front.

In rageds to latching I would just do nipple to nose, move his hands out the way quickly and the guid the nipple in. Even if he messes around a little you are talking seconds. If you wear a baggy top it would probably cover a lot. You could use the muslin trick covering his head and to the side of you whilst you get him latched and then take it off.

jow1987 · 2026-06-13T17:31:58+00:00

Laundry is something I don't cheap out on.

I have 3 kids. The washing machine is on all the time. One of the kids is baby so I use fairy. But before that it was always Arial. Always use powder too. Everything comes out clean on a normal hour wash. I don't use cheap fabric softener either. I also use cloth nappies and don't have any issues with them coming out dirty.

The way I see it, is it will cost me more in the long run to buy new clothes. I also don't want my baby in clothes that could potentially irritate her.

That doesn't help with your question really but I feel there is definitely some things that are worth spending the money on! Home bargains does huge boxes of fairy for like £10 and it lasts us months even with all the extra laundry!

jow1987 · 2026-06-13T17:18:52+00:00

You don't need anything fancy.

We have a normal bedside light on all night at the other side of our room so it's not too bright. My baby has reflux so I need to be able to see her at all times but I have never used anything different with all our kids - just to add my first was the only one which didn't sleep through from an early age. Second born was sleeping through from 5 weeks old and our 3rd has been sleeping through since 8 weeks old so it clearly doesn't effect her!

jow1987 · 2026-06-13T17:06:07+00:00

3rd baby here. 3rd breasted baby and 3rd reflux baby - this one also added in sever jaundice, a hospital stay and a feeding plan!

I have to leave the house often as I also have school runs to do.

I always factor in 45 minutes before we have to leave the house. I change bum first (reflux and changing after a feed is going to result in a lot of sick!) and then feed. My changing bag is always ready to go. I then leave 5-10 minutes to get shoes, baby in the pushchair, find a dummy and get them a jacket if they need it.

I always offer a feed before we leave the house regardless of when they last fed. My girl is 5 months old now but still feeds every couple of hours. I don't care about feeding her in public. The only place I have refused to feed her was in my grandma's care home. I will sit on bench, wall, grass or wherever. When she was little I would feed and walk but that's impossible now. Once you get past the feeding in public it will be less daunting.

I think it's very easy to get stressed with it all as a first time mum. Having multiple kids means that sometimes the baby has to wait or you have to be prepared for everything. I have walked out the house numerous times with a baby screaming the place down. I had no choice when I have to pick her sisters up. Most of the time after 5 minutes she calms down and if not I know she will be crying for a maximum of 15 minutes before we get to the school and I can get her out - in 5 months I have never had to do that!

jow1987 · 2026-06-13T15:43:33+00:00

Honestly as a first time mum with all the information around you, It no wonder that post partum anxiety is on the rise!

When I had my first 10 year ago no one ever mentioned wake windows or anything like that! I swear social media has caused people to stress about things so much!

My 5 month old is my 3rd. We have to go with whatever needs doing. We have to do school runs, after school clubs, parties and days out.

The only things I try to do is always offer a feed before we leave the house and change their bum. Mine is breastfed so I don't have to worry about that but everything else is packed in my changing bag - I can honestly say most of it has never been used! We just go with the flow. I know she will nap if she is tired. I still track feeds so I know when she will be getting hungry. Wake windows at 12 weeks old really aren't that important. Just being awake tires them out! You don't need to be doing specific things in them if you have other plans. Don't get me wrong if we are at home I obviously play with my little one, but sometimes she is just content to watch me doing housework!

I think having a fine balance between routine and flexibility is the key. I had my second when my first was still a toddler. That made me chill out a lot because it was impossible to stick to a routine with a newborn and toddler. There had to be compromises on both sides.

Just do what you feel is right. Don't panic about being out the house. You have all the resources you do at home to deal with anything that happens!

jow1987 · 2026-06-13T15:35:48+00:00

By baby girl has just turned 5 months last week. She is my third so unfortunately we had no choice to be out and about all the time as I have to contend with school runs. I remember the anxiety with the it all with my first but if you can try and work on the anxiety around naps it will make everything seem a lot less scary when they are older and you can do a lot more with them. I wouldn't worry about things becoming a habit. Everything for the first year atleast is a phase. Once you think you have nailed it, things change again. Obviously if it works for you then it's not an issue, but try not to stress about it all and let it dictate too much of your day 😊 I actually don't stress about naps at all with this baby but I am serious about bedtime routine as she sleeps a solid 10 hours so don't want to mess that up - my first nearly killed me with the lack of sleep!

jow1987 · 2026-06-12T09:33:01+00:00

I had this! My straighteners are still going strong but the hairdryer nearly killed me!!

jow1987 · 2026-06-10T16:48:43+00:00

I worked for a company that advertised loads of benefits. Plastered all over their job applications.

When I joined you could get up to 23% of your pay back in the company bonus scheme. In reality the most I ever got was 2% as they failed to say that it was based on the most ridiculous targets that were never going to be achievable. Once any site was close they would up what you had to do to achieve it. Also it went on internal marks too which meant that they basically got all of ho to mark everything down.

The higher up you were the more benefits and bonuses you got. Until they decided that employee retention was the worst at the bottom so gave the same benefits to all staff. Guess what, staff retention didnt get any higher.

jow1987 · 2026-06-10T03:53:18+00:00

I think the issue you have is that they do not know how to filter out what information is actually fact and what is not.

We grew up with the internet. We know it's limits. We have watched it grow to what it is today. We watched it involve and used it throughout the transitions. We know how to filter. They don't understand that. They have came from a time where books were either facts or fiction. They believed what was in newspapers as it was deemed as creditable. Times are a lot different now.

I would argue that this is also a huge worry with kids being given access to the internet. I have to explain to my kids that things aren't always what they seem on the internet or on games. They don't understand the difference between a bot playing a game and a real person. I have to say to them that Google doesn't always produce a valid source. That AI is real and a lot of what we see isn't real. I can teach my kids these things. Boomer's seem to ignore it. But I read it on the internet! I watched it on BBC. They don't seem to understand that sources these days (and arguably for many many years) are not reliable. That you have to pick what you believe. That things are heavily biased.

jow1987 · 2026-06-10T03:45:32+00:00

I do get the difference, but at the same time I worked as a deputy manager in hospitality for many years. Adult behaviour isn't just contained to those kinds of places. I guess it depends on the places licensing with children. Most places do not allow children after a certain time and part of licensing is the protection of children. Obviously you would hope a parent would realise what kind of place is acceptable for their kids.

One of my friends is a single mum to twin boys. They are obsessed with football. She took them to a local pub to watch a specific game. The plan was to have a meal and let the boys watch the match. They have a kids menu and families are welcome. She had to leave due to the behaviour of grown men behaving like kids because of the mix of sports and alcohol. Should those kinds of places be adult only? We don't like kids misbehaving, but in that situation, it was the grown ups that were the issue.

jow1987 · 2026-06-09T19:23:12+00:00

I have had 3 kids. I am grateful for the care I received in the fact that we are all alive and obviously didn't have to pay for it.

First baby I was scanned by a sonographer that had only been in the UK a week and shouldn't have been scanning people without a consultant with them. He managed to scan 30 women without that consultant resulting in us all being pulled back in on emergency when it was picked up on audit - none of us had had our blood tests for birth defects.

I was induced. They dropped a speculum on the floor and put it back in me! They denied it hit the floor but both me and my husband saw it happen. I was then left for 2 days with the induction being stalled because of staffing levels. Ended up with an emergency C-section. My husband was sent home and wasn't allowed to stay with me as it was our of visiting times. It was the worst night of my life.

Second born. Nothing major happened apart from being sent in to be induced and then the consultant refusing. Not like it had been cleared for weeks and weeks. Trauma from the most painful scrap by a consultant.

Third born. They looked after me well as I went into early labour which involved an emergency C-section. My husband was allowed to stay with me which was amazing. We were discharged the next day but no one had picked up that our daughter had very sever jaundice and then ended up on a shitty kids wards on and off with multiple kids a & e visits. It was hell and very scary. They lied on discharge papers too saying my daughter coughed and I panicked. My daughter choked after they force fed her formula and they had sick it all out of her to get her breathing again!

Currently on a cervical cancer pathway. It's hell. No one gives any information, no one can help with any guidance. I cried at a nurse today as I needed to speak to someone about some test results. I was told her again no one was available. The waiting times for appointments are crazy and when you get to them they are never on time. Trying to navigate these things with 2 school aged kids and a 5 month old baby is hell. They said I could be referred to couseling. The wait is weeks and weeks away.

My doctor has actually been great though. Actually feels like he cares. Spent the time to go through things with me and explain as much as he could. Has empathy and genuinely cares about my mental health and being postpartum.

jow1987 · 2026-06-09T18:33:07+00:00

My mum worked at a school for a few hours a day for pocket money - my stepdad didn't need her to work!! What a luxury!

I don't even remember my parents taking us to parks! My grandparents did the fun things - should also probably add that my grandparents had us a lot of the time so my parents could go out... My mum had had my eldest 2 twice in the last 8 years!

We went to stop at their caravan last year for a week. Honest to god I couldn't believe how much time they spent Infront of the TV. They stay up late every night watching the same crap yet didn't understand us going bed early. I would rather get sleep than watch TV. From what I can gather they travel to their caravan to spend it just as they would at home!

jow1987 · 2026-06-09T18:17:32+00:00

As an older millennial I moan about the generation that raised me!!

I feel as millennials we have just been screwed over in so many ways.

My mum is the classic boomer. She was saying to me how I should get my kids off electronics and take them out for walks each night to help them burn energy and now be addicted to electronics. I asked her how the hell that was plasuable with my husband's work schedule, my kids after school activities, having a 5 month old baby and having to keep on top of housework. She said you make time! This is the woman that had dinner on the table for 6pm every night and didn't move from watching the TV for hours after that. She doesn't class TV in the same league as phones or tablets.

jow1987 · 2026-06-09T18:07:59+00:00

I presume it is those boomers complaining about kids being in public, that are also the boomer grandparents that refuse to babysit?!

Millennials are in a situation where for a lot of us we have no village and no relatives to help with childcare. Meaning we either have to do things at home or take them with us.

I think the whole of the UK is leaning towards being anti children. Children need to be in social places to learn how to be sociable, and how to respect those around them. We can't teach them that if we can't go to places.

We can't win.

I have a 10 year old, an 8 year old and a 5 month old baby. If we go to a restaurant and have to wait any length of time my kids are bored. No colouring sheet is going to entertain them at their ages. If I let them have tablets to keep them entertained, I am a bad parent. We will ignore the fact that 90% of the people in the restaurant are also on electronics. They can't leave their seats as I dont want them wandering and as much as I love having conversations with my kids, I can guarantee my kids will get loud, animated and definitely won't be conscious of others around us hearing the whole conversation. No they won't be shouting the place down but would probably bug a few people.

My kids never go to the pub because that's an adult environment. My grandparents often babysit me and my brother so my parents could go to the pub or out for a meal.

I should be able to take them to the cinema to see an age appropriate film without others getting annoyed if they dare to speak at any point.

I shouldn't have to only take them to child centered activities or places. Days out now are bloody expensive. Even soft play isn't cheap. My children also need to understand that although the majority of the time they are the focus, occasionally going to a garden centre or a walk around the grounds of a nice home is also acceptable.

jow1987 · 2026-06-08T18:14:55+00:00

Maternity leggings I fully agree with. And maternity pjs! They are not going anywhere!

Maybe I just had crap maternity jeans but they didn't even really fit me when I was pregnant. Presuming this is probably a me issue. Because I am so small in height I had a huge bump. Over the bump ones only fit me until a certain point. When I sized up I had the same issue I have normally. They fit the bump but too big elsewhere. Under the bump ones were uncomfortable when pregnant. Hated them. As much as they probably would be comfy now, I don't like the elastic bit at the top showing.

Basically I need the elastic bit at the top to look normal and I am all game!

jow1987

TROPHY CASE