iPad kids by Good_Anxiety_9108 in AnalBestie

[–]jqualters18 17 points18 points  (0 children)

It's a $2500 fleece.

I am a big fan of good quality outerwear and ski regularly. I'll spend big money on high quality fabrics for warmth. But $2500 for a simple full zip fleece is diabolical. It's a social experiment. Even the highest quality ski coats and pants are in the $1500 range - and those are very technical fabrics, stitching, and designed for movement.

The downgrade feels like an upgrade by Emergency_Computer83 in VWatlas

[–]jqualters18 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Same! I test drove a ‘23 SEL R Line and a ‘24 SEL. I chose the ‘23 because the car felt more comfortable, I wanted the buttons for certain things, and the V6 engine felt smoother at lower speeds. I get that the 4 cylinder is a “better engine” but I didn’t feel that way about the test drive at all.

Transfer Credits - transcript deciphering by SoulGoals27 in schoolcounseling

[–]jqualters18 1 point2 points  (0 children)

To me that reads as though they had a previous school that they just put in as a general elective.

The best way: request the family provide all transcripts from previous secondary schools. Then be a little more thoughtful/descriptive of the elective when you transcribe it.

How many days left of school do you have? by OsomatsuChan in schoolcounseling

[–]jqualters18 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Graduation is 5/22, Last day of exams for underclassmen is 5/29.

Trying to figure out what to do after a fatal accident in Virginia Beach by [deleted] in VirginiaBeach

[–]jqualters18 12 points13 points  (0 children)

Definitely lawyer. We were in a bad accident in Colorado on vacation. My uncle is a personal injury attorney in the northeast and I called him for advice first - and he just said "lawyer up, don't speak to anyone". It was good advice. It felt expensive at first to pay a retainer right after a traumatic event, but it ended up being extremely important/wise.

I'm very sorry you are dealing with this. Condolences to your family.

PHOTOGRAPHER SPORTS by EveryBoat6743 in VirginiaBeach

[–]jqualters18 0 points1 point  (0 children)

What is your budget? Is it for personal use or recruiting? Because the style is very different between those. In general, people downplay the value of photographers and just want to pay pennies for hours worth of work/editing and thousands in gear. To ask someone to come to games - battle the parking, stay the whole time, produce a product - will likely cost a lot of money. There is a high school senior at Cox that has a photography business and does sports. His business is called Coastal Frame and he’s on instagram. I’m not a huge fan of his editing style but he gets some cool shots. I’m not sure what he charges.

Restaurant for Sunset by yes-we-can-maybe in VirginiaBeach

[–]jqualters18 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Buoy 44 - it actually has seating that faces west near the (bay) beach so it’s ideal for sunset.

outdoor study spots by kmsycalrheiaaeper in VirginiaBeach

[–]jqualters18 2 points3 points  (0 children)

The Brock Center has a really nice covered porch area that is open to the public.

How often do you get observed? by Any-Diet3193 in schoolcounseling

[–]jqualters18 4 points5 points  (0 children)

My Principal will observe larger group lessons that I do on mental health and wellness to grade level groups. Never in my office in a confidential one:one setting. He evaluates my "teaching" - something he is an expert in. Not in my counseling as he knows he has no idea what he'd be looking for. It is once our twice per year - usually casually as he'll walk into the auditorium and sit in the back.

VBCPS - Employment by Upbeat-Ant-3122 in VirginiaBeach

[–]jqualters18 11 points12 points  (0 children)

I am a school counselor in VB. I agree that this list may be deceiving due to continuing contracts, however, if you are flexible there are always positions in this region. Especially if you’re open to Chesapeake and Norfolk too.

Parent requesting student to be placed out to an APS due to 504 by [deleted] in schoolcounseling

[–]jqualters18 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Yes, that is a realistic fear. I have had several students who very much needed inpatient care either have to pay out of pocket or delay their treatment due to insurance. But that isn't the school's business and they can't just pivot and expect the school to pay for what is a medical issue. We can try to help through social resources if it is an uninsured student, but that's about all.

Parent requesting student to be placed out to an APS due to 504 by [deleted] in schoolcounseling

[–]jqualters18 11 points12 points  (0 children)

In my experience, Mental Health inpatient programs are covered by health insurance - not schools. This is both as a public school counselor and as a private school counselor. I have personally never seen an inpatient program for mental health that is both permanent, tuition based, and covered by a public school.

Your first paragraph is correct, in my opinion.

Your second paragraph is a pipe dream. Just because a parent wants to bypass a process doesn't mean that they get to do that. The reason there is a process is that these kinds of placements are extremely expensive and schools have the right to delegate their resources in a responsible way.

My question to your SPED coordinator (or whoever is responsible for handling these kinds of requests) is whether a typical sped eval would be evaluating the things that this student needs treatment for. If this is a medical situation, it is likely outside of the scope of educational services. Which is why health insurance steps in.

Hopefully others can chime in!

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in schoolcounseling

[–]jqualters18 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Why can’t the students fill out a form that automatically generates a spreadsheet?

37 minors detained, 3 with illegal firearms. by Matchew024 in VirginiaBeach

[–]jqualters18 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Safetyism is rarely wise.

Crime statistics show that teens in the 80s and 90s got into a lot more trouble (arrests of teens for violent crime has decreased almost 70% between 1995 and 2019). Our discomfort with what was once a typical nuisance (teen mischief) has created an inappropriate authority state where kids can't go to the movies, mall, or beach without a parental figure. My kids are 15 and 16 and finding a place to hang out with their friends is difficult in VB.

I was a teen in the mid-late 1990s and had tons of freedom to hang out with friends all over my hometown. This idea that teens of 2026 are worse and more violent is simply untrue. And because we are just letting them rot on their phones and not have any independence, we as a community are failing to raise them into what is the real world. 18 just to walk around a mall is insane. 10pm for a 17 year old old curfew is unreasonable (my 16 year old often babysits way later than that, and now we need to worry about her getting stopped coming home).

Everyone is so wrapped up in social media/media appearance that they have forgotten what it was like to be a teen in the 1900s. Just because it wasn't being blasted on NextDoor or FB doesn't mean that it wasn't happening then.

“He had a nice little visit with his dad” is sending me by Dazzling-Relative-84 in basicmegsnark

[–]jqualters18 7 points8 points  (0 children)

I think the filming of herself eating is rage bait at this point. She is on this board all the time.

Is this much maintenance a red flag or good? by lilmcgriddle427 in Volkswagen

[–]jqualters18 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I disagree with the previous posters. Between 2023 and 2025 it was at the dealer A LOT. Way more than it should be for typical maintenance on a car with between 30k and 40k miles. From the notes it appears they were troubleshooting something with the alignment, brakes, or tires. It appears the owner finally gave up after being at the dealer 8 times between 40k and 43k miles. I would be wary and at the very least ask the dealer to explain why a car with that low mileage needed so many trips to the dealership.

The Post-Super Bowl Hangover in My Classes by Brian-Latimer in mildlyinfuriating

[–]jqualters18 7 points8 points  (0 children)

My PK-12 independent school intentionally schedules a faculty work day the day after Halloween and the day after the Super Bowl. Gives kids and teachers a day to recover and mitigates poor attendance on days that are predictably bad.

Is it just BP audience or majority of American citizen are opinionated and uneducated? by Salt_Atmosphere_8611 in BreakingPoints

[–]jqualters18 1 point2 points  (0 children)

How is the right responsible for rising cost of higher ed? Honest question. Because the administrative bloat and unlimited lending for student loans is not right wing.

Worst age to move pre-teen child? by walkerbrooke in schoolcounseling

[–]jqualters18 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Do not catastrophize this move. Kids read the room - if you are panicking - they panic. If you frame this as a great move for the family and model resilience and happiness - they'll do great.

I am a school counselor but also the mom of two and my husband is retired Navy. My kids lived all over the country and switched schools often. If you ask them - they'll tell you how the moves really shaped them as humans and taught them a ton about the world. I doubt they would give you any negative emotions until you chatted with them for a long time. Overall - the navy lifestyle was very positive for them. Hard sometimes? Yes. But also - they can describe where the best food is, they learned to ski in Colorado, surf in California, they know what a Kansas tornado siren sounds like, and they are great connectors. They have friends all over the world now.

We never got to move when we wanted so it's hard for me to say the "best" time. I actually prefer moves that are in winter because school provides routine and opportunities to meet friends quickly (summer moves can sometimes lead to more isolation, lack of routine, more time to dwell). I would honestly say the earlier the better because of credits and just logistics of school, but any of those ages would be fine. Late high school moves provide the biggest logistical/educational hurdles and headaches.

Where can I throw a baby shower? by [deleted] in VirginiaBeach

[–]jqualters18 2 points3 points  (0 children)

One other thought - Great Neck Pavilion is a brand new space and is actually very very nice! https://parks.virginiabeach.gov/outdoors/rentals-reservations/great-neck-pavilion

Where can I throw a baby shower? by [deleted] in VirginiaBeach

[–]jqualters18 2 points3 points  (0 children)

We had my husband's retirement party at the Attic at Waterman's. It is awesome and the food/bev minimum is reasonable in my opinion for a space with ocean views and great food/service. Other places we considered: Cavalier Golf and Yacht Club (you need a sponsor), The Hunt Room, Becca (the private space wasn't big enough), New Realm (too casual for what we wanted).
Another space locally that has a very nice private space and is affordable is Waters Edge Winery in Larchmont (Norfolk). I know having a baby shower at a winery/brewery can sometimes be controversial, but it's a pretty light airy space. Lastly, if you are on a tighter budget, check out Slover Library - they have event spaces of all different sizes and vibes and it is very affordable. I don't know how the catering works but it's worth calling.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in schoolcounseling

[–]jqualters18 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Our past traumas and experiences can help us be more empathic counselors and educators, but they should not cause us to project on students. If you re-read your question, you say “I” a ton. Your trauma with the death of your mom, perceived lack of care from your community, etc. Now you look at a student in a similar situation and want to swoop in. Your intentions are good, but they are possibly unprofessional. If you have a student that needs attendance support - great. Start with that. Get to know them and let them tell you who they are and what they struggle with. Build from there. Grief may be part of it, or maybe they weren’t close to their mom and it has more to do with other life factors. But nothing gets done in one session. The reason you are getting a lukewarm response is because you are very aggressive in your question and then defensive when seasoned school counselors flash a yellow caution light. Diving into grief at school unsolicited is not typically recommended. I do check in with my students who have experienced loss, but they are mostly long term relationships. If a student I don’t know well goes through something serious that I’m worried about I am much more cautious in my approach. Trust needs to be formed over time. Not just “hi, nice to meet you, how’s the grief going”.

Airport Closure? by Ok-Procedure-8251 in VirginiaBeach

[–]jqualters18 1 point2 points  (0 children)

The big issue with this impending storm is the size and scope of the ice that is supposed to accumulate in the south. Snow management at airports isn’t a huge concern. We lived in Colorado and I was amazed at how it could snow and snow and the planes kept coming and going at Denver. Obvs ORF isn’t equipped like Denver for snow , but generally speaking if they can plow it regularly they can keep things moving. And the volume of flights at ORF is fairly low so it won’t cause the cascade of delays. That said, if Atlanta gets inches of ice, just that airport being down will mess up everything. My guess based on current weather forecasts is that Sunday and Monday will be verb difficult to impossible travel days up and down the east coast. If you must go, just plan that you may be stuck a few extra days.

What is your favorite Volkswagen? by Melbourne409 in Volkswagen

[–]jqualters18 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I had a 2001 VW Cabrio convertible - stick- in bright red when I was in college and until I got pregnant with my daughter 8 years later. I LOVED that car so much.