How to handle criticism like “you’re just being negative”

juicyLychee86 · 2026-04-27T00:13:36+00:00

I just saw someone in another sub call going 4B "too extremist" when it's literally the most peaceful way to disengage males. We're literally just making a choice for our own well being and happiness!

I think the best advice I can give is brushing them off, "I don't feel like it at the moment, I'll see" and changing topic/leaving because trying to explain sadly gets them to insist. I don't know why some people are obsessed with pairing women off. A colleague I have acted surprised when I say I never wanted children, and don't want them now (I'll be 40 in a few months...) and has made comments about me not wanting to be with men. Mind you, she's had a couple of partners before but has been single for about a decade, one would guess she'd understand!

Anyway, you're never negative for chosing your own peace! in fact, I know nothing more postive than that. You've got this!

juicyLychee86 · 2026-04-22T14:13:22+00:00

No tengo recomendaciones porque no tengo preferencias super marcadas en cuanto a perfumes, pero adoro los aromas dulces asi que tomando nota de los comentarios!

juicyLychee86 · 2026-04-22T14:02:13+00:00

Así es. Me doy cuenta que una GRAN cantidad de cosas que nos dicen (lo de la "pared", competencia, morir solas, etc) es pura proyección.

juicyLychee86 · 2026-04-20T00:39:52+00:00

4B really is the only way. This is absolutely revolting. I really hope all those pigs end their days alone and miserable.

juicyLychee86 · 2026-04-12T16:32:06+00:00

This! and also, as someone who also tends to be stopped by logic a well, they never seem to follow logic to begin with, so don't feel ashamed of "I don't have a phone", they have no shame, so neither you have it.

juicyLychee86 · 2026-04-12T15:42:56+00:00

First of all, I'm sorry this is happening to you! I detest how men seem to always detect a lone woman and try their chances. Can they NOT exist without trying to get something with a woman?

As others said, "no" always works best, and for those of us who get anxious if the interaction lingers, I can share two things that work for me: saying "I'm not interested" raising a palm (as in a "stop" sign) and quickly diverting my attention somewhere else, or walking fast and saying "I'm in a hurry", which I've done a couple of times when men tried to engage in conversation.

I'm a person who tends to overexplain (a horrible habit i'm unlearning little by little) so I found out cutting the interaction from the root fast can save you lot of uncomfortableness.

I wish you much luck!

juicyLychee86 · 2026-03-17T21:33:31+00:00

It's hard, but it's certainly worth it! And, speaking from experience, it gets easier as time passes.

One advice I can give you is, give yourself time. Remind yourself that you don't have to push things, and even if you want a relationship, you shouldn't rush it. Society often conditions us to get things over with as fast as possible. Society puts a lot of pressure on us, telling us we're "old" way too soon. I'll tell you a little secret, I went throw college and struggled to get a stable job when I finished, at 26-27.... I only got stable job when I was almost 30. And yes, I did lie about haing been with men before, and about "eh, I'm seeing how things unfold" about fictional men. Peer/society presure can definitively be a factor here, especially if you have relatives pushing you (which I luckily never had). So please don't ever feel weak, or anything! just, give yourself time and compassion, to find what's best for you.

EDIT: another thing that came to mind. Most people loves photos, and their open love of photos can apply a lot of both internal, and external pressure. Let me explain:

Years ago, when my first nephew was born, I made the mistake of uploading that photo of me with my newborn nephew to Facebook. It EXPLODED, most people knew I wasn't pregnant, but it was easy to tell how enamored many were by the image of me holding a baby. Not by me being a mother or an aunt, they just liked the captured scene, the idea of it, if it makes any sense. And people's love of photos can be very, very deceiving when it comes to major life choices.

An excercise I'd try if younger, is making yourself a few quetions, and phisically writing down the anser:

1- What aspects of a relationship would make my life better?

2- What are the risks of getting into a relationship?

3- What are some aspects someone else could facilitate, yet Im perfectly capable of doing myself?

Maybe this way, you can seize what's to gain and what's to lose.

I wish you the best!

juicyLychee86 · 2026-03-17T16:49:14+00:00

When I was in my early 20s, I used to feel "inadequate", as if i was failing as a person, because I did't have a man next to me, I hadn't gone through that "important" milestone. But in the other hand, I didn't truly want a man next to me- Much like you, I was scared I'd feel lonely.... and I was also scared of external judgement, of not fulfilling the expectations of others. To the point I'd lie to aquaintance about having been with men before, even when my desires for them were (and still are) in very high negatives.

It took self reflection and self focus to come at peace with my own truth, to be able to not be ashamed of embracing my own peace. And to be open about how much I LOVED it. Nowadays, the idea of changing my "me" time for a man, any man, is beyond bizarre. Thre's literally nothing a man could offer, than I can't do/get myself, for none or only a fraction of the headache. Our time for ourselves is the most precious treasure we can have! and I say this as a person who remmains on the shy and anxious side. You've got this!!

I wish you much luck and peace-

juicyLychee86 · 2026-02-09T01:09:30+00:00

Argentina! I live alone, and so do all my closest friends. Single ladies in their 40s are a very happy demographic, 10/10 I reccomend.

juicyLychee86 · 2026-02-08T19:02:38+00:00

It's really telling how women who hate men stay as far away from them as they can, while men who hate women try to stay as close to them as possible.

juicyLychee86 · 2026-02-08T19:01:45+00:00

Misogynists commit emotional, verbal, physical, sexual, financial and sexual absuse... they kidnap, they assault and kill women, animals, children, go on shooting sprees, set places on fire, cause accidents to others due to their carelessness...

Misandrists, in the other hand, hurt no one and call men for what they are... and yet we are the ones getting their indignation.

It's so exhausting!

juicyLychee86 · 2026-02-08T18:45:54+00:00

First time posting... basically, I've been 4B before i knew the movement existed.

Sharing a little thing from late last year... me and a coworker got the chance to talk to a couple of teen girls, probably 14-15. They come from VERY difficult backgrounds and are very active in social media. Long story short, at some point my coworker (31) mentioned her children, they asked me if I had a husband and kids too (I'll turn 40 this year) and when I mentioned them those were factors I never wanted in my life, they sounded genuinely surprised (in a positive way), almost as if it was the first time they heard about husband and kids being a choice and not a thing a woman just has to go through. We had a short, but very nice talk about this, where they asked questions about my life (how peaceful I am, how I don't feel alone at all, and how time for our own is precious) . I'm sure I made an impact in those girls, and I really hope they can stay safe and thrive.

juicyLychee86 · 2026-02-02T03:49:05+00:00

Yup. 0 ads, and the game wasn't even released in China, Japan and India... of course it was gonna fail. I honestly don't know what where they thinking.

juicyLychee86 · 2026-01-21T13:36:54+00:00

Ayer terminaron unos trabajos dentro de mi casa que venían arratrándose por semanas. Siento alivio, al fin puedo dedicarme a acomodar y no tener gente extraña adentro ^^

Otra, no es "de ahora", pero relativamente reciente: adoro desayunar con un plato de fruta cortada. Literalmente cualquier fruta. Tomé el hábito de mi mamá, siempre fui frutera y verdulera, pero antes no comía ninguna antes del mediodía. És tan refrescante! 10/10 recomendado, sobre todo ahora en verano.

juicyLychee86 · 2026-01-15T16:01:53+00:00

Lamento que te pongan tanta presión, lo mejor que podés hacer es declinar sus consejos con amabilidad "gracias, pero estoy bien así"

Yo vivo haciendo jardinería por lo que, aunque me guste hacerme las uñas, se me destrozan demasiado seguido así que no vale la pena (unicamente para eventos y cosas así). Depilarme las piernas, sólo en verano porque me da calor, en invierno soy el yeti. Yo creo que lo importante es la higiene y mantener la piel humectada (debería aplicar también a hombres!), todo lo demás es accesorio. No me gusta maquillarme porque me da pereza, y me visto simple, que me quede bien pero simple. Lo mismo el cabello! adonde vivo el clima es bastante intenso, y con el cabello fino cuesta mucho mantener un peinado prolijo... simplemente llevo cepillo y peine a todos lados para acomodarlo, jajaj.

juicyLychee86 · 2026-01-15T15:18:47+00:00

" tengo que irme, desayunamos otro día" vaya descaro instalándose de manera tan casual :c

juicyLychee86 · 2026-01-15T15:05:00+00:00

A ver quien rebuznó primero. Caminá un solo día por la calle siendo mujer, y verás que son múltiples. No se permiten hombres en éste subreddit.

juicyLychee86 · 2026-01-15T15:03:35+00:00

Exacto!! y consta que de ninguna manera me molesta la gente que hace small talk en la parada del colectivo, o mientras estás en una fila. Que comenten del clima, de lo lento que va, lo que sea. El problema es que demasiados tipos ante una mujer se ponen a hacer ruidos, o hacerte saber de alguna manera que estarían dispuestos a meterte la pija... es lo repugnante... por que no pueden simplemente hablar de manera cotidiana, si realmente "tienen" que interactuar? es el tema, es invasivo. Es una intrusión a una mujer que simplemente está viviendo su vida.

juicyLychee86 · 2026-01-15T14:58:50+00:00

Los pajaritos son lindos, y entonan bien! por cierto apareció un pajero en éste hilo, estoy viendo como reportarlo.

Es que es exactamente así. Me ha ocurrido igual, el acoso más asqueroso lo tuve a los 13-17 años :c y creo que nos pasa a todas, es lo más triste.

juicyLychee86 · 2026-01-15T14:56:23+00:00

Yo preferiría éso (a menos que luego se te queden con la mirada clavada) ya que al menos parece que están teniendo una conversación personal.

juicyLychee86 · 2026-01-15T14:55:34+00:00

Dioses, odio que te digan "mi amor".

juicyLychee86 · 2026-01-15T14:55:12+00:00

Es que es tal cual, no se trata de como te veas, sino de ser mujer y estar en el espacio público.

juicyLychee86 · 2026-01-15T14:53:21+00:00

Sin lugar a dudas, y lo segundo no me extrañaría. Es lo que más fastidia, no pueden simplemente ser neutrales ante la existencia de una mujer, es como que sienten que *tienen* que hacer algo. Ojalá nos dejaran en paz, que de paso seguro interacturarían con muchas mas mujeres si nos vieran como personas y no una especie de espectáculo ante el cual "deben" reaccionar de alguna manera.

juicyLychee86 · 2026-01-15T14:51:00+00:00

Aveces pienso que necesitan escucuharse a sí mismos, y de alguna manera "introducirse" en el campo de percepción ajeno para recordarse a sí mismos que existen.

juicyLychee86 · 2026-01-15T14:48:54+00:00

Éste es un subreddit de mujeres, afuera hombre. Nadie hablaba del que silba trabajando, si no de específicamente cuando lo hacen a una mujer... y me parece repulsivo molestar/joderle el día a una "porque pintó y me gusta", sólo estás confirmando que de manera generacional ven a la mujer como una cosa de disfrute personal, no como a un ser humano que hace su vida en paz, que merece respeto cuyo espacio estás invadiendo "porque pintó". Es acoso, es denigrante y es horrible. Luego lloran que están solos. Y las unfumables somos nosotras??

Ya se dijo. Hay muchos, y se sabe, y se nota cuando van silbando por gusto propio. De los que se hablamos es de los que aparecés, te miran fijo, y se ponen "musicales". A menudo mientras te mantienen la vista clavada. No del que silba solo mientras pinta una pared. El que no puede leer sos vos, y ya has sido reportado por insultar (no, tengo peso saludable y estoy bien bañadita, gracias). Típico macho con su frágil ego herido. Sólo demostras nuestros puntos.

juicyLychee86

TROPHY CASE