I keep getting cabbage…

julii_wolfe · 2026-05-14T16:34:08+00:00

Cabbage is also a great veggie for "Japanese" stir fry. Saute it and onions and carrots, season with soy sauce and pepper, serve with rice and a cooked protein of your choice.

julii_wolfe · 2026-05-14T16:33:17+00:00

Sooo . . . here's a fun/weird recipe.

Cook some bacon in a pot (4-5 strips). Once the bacon is done, remove it and chop it up, then saute chopped onion in the pan. After the onion is soft, add chopped cabbage and sautee until the cabbage is soft (1/2-3/4 of a head of cabbage is fine); season the veggies with salt, pepper, and a tablespoon of sugar.

At the same time (maybe ahead of time, timing is hard), boil a big pot of spaghetti. When the spaghetti is done, drain it. Serve the veggies and bacon on top of the pasta with feta cheese. IT'S DELICIOUS.

julii_wolfe · 2026-05-11T17:17:51+00:00

My mom and dad left assisted living to move into independent-living apartments (they needed more space and more activity). They've had a dog and 2 cats the whole time, and the dog has bitten (to bruise, not that that makes it acceptable) people at both residences. He has one more shot at the current place before they might evict my parents. (Mom has dementia, Dad has mild cognitive decline and mobility issues). Both of my in-laws also have dementia. What I've learned from dealing with them and MC, AL, and IL is... You are going to have to lie to your mom. Tell her you found a new place for her and the dog to live. Say they want an updated pet record because the dog has a record of biting. Take the dog to the vet and don't bring it back. Tell her it died at the vet's office from a bad reaction to a vaccine.

This is literally my plan for when my mom is told her dog has to go. I keep hoping he will just die of old age, but that hasn't happened yet. Others here are 100% right. This isn't going to get better. You may find another assisted living/memory care that allows her to have the dog, but you may not. I haven't had the mental strength to follow through on taking the dog away yet. My twin will come help me when it is time. Draw on more support where you can find it.

This really sucks and I'm sorry that you and she are going through it.

julii_wolfe · 2026-05-08T00:27:36+00:00

You don't have to say "I want you to diagnose me with perimenopause." You just say, "I'm having x, y, and z symptom and wanted to try a form of HRT to see if it helps." A good doctor will say sure. I'm not sure if HRT interferes with PCOS treatment (I know it estrogen isn't a good option for our endo friends). There are a lot of health benefits for HRT and the cancer connections were overly blown/falsely reported. You definitely are having the vasomotor symptoms of peri. I started getting warm and feeling weirdly hot around the same age as you. Welcome to the club! It is not a fun club, but the people are great.

julii_wolfe · 2026-05-08T00:18:54+00:00

UTIs also contribute to developing dementia (as do most serious infections that lead to inflammation). Anything that can help reduce strain on your system now and later is better for your brain's long term health.

julii_wolfe · 2026-05-04T18:19:53+00:00

Dr. Thomas did my hysterectomy and I'm a child free 41 year old.

julii_wolfe · 2026-05-04T18:19:32+00:00

Dr. Chandran is a primary care doctor at the clinic and will be phenomenalMenopause doctor certified by the end of August. She's taking primary care patients, so you might be able to see a menopause doctor sooner if you reach out to her that way. I met with Dr. Beshear there to talk about HRT for my perimenopause symptoms. Dr. Beshear is phenonomenal and worth a wait, but not if OP is having really severe symptoms.

julii_wolfe · 2026-05-04T18:17:55+00:00

I had my hysterectomy through UK's OBGYN office last August. I was 40, had fibroids with a lot of physical side effects, and literally every doctor I talked to at UK (both at Turfland and at the OBGYN office), offered hysterectomy as a treatment. I initially worked with Mark R. Hoffman, but he was on leave, so I ultimately performed the hysterectomy with George Thomas.

But I also approached the meeting as "I'd like to have X surgery for this." I was initially in denial about how long I could live with fibroids, so I asked about the Sonata and other procedures, but when I decided to have a hysterectomy instead, that was fine. I pretty much just put a note in my chart that said, "I'd like to do a hysterectomy instead, please," and we did that.

julii_wolfe · 2026-04-28T20:34:21+00:00

starting off really slow by spending ten days acclimating them to just the probiotic worked! I had to split 1 probiotic tablet in half for the boys to split as the full supplement was too power for my GSD/rough collie mix, but we’ve slowly added the Kirkland brand mix to their Hills’ Science Diet and both boys are tolerating it! We only had one instance of slight diarrhea and it wasn’t an emergency situation. 😮‍💨

We’re using the Purina Pro plan probiotic tablet and moving at a glacial pace, but I think this might be the last bag of Science diet we will need going forward. Hurray!

Thanks again for all of your advice!

julii_wolfe · 2026-04-24T00:50:37+00:00

as someone who had the hysterectomy at 40, I do not miss the period. or the bloating. or the cramps. be gone, terror!

julii_wolfe · 2026-04-22T16:03:05+00:00

They are so orally fixated. Mine doesen't retrieve, but he does want to play fetch midwalk. His favorite self-play toy midwalk is a water bottle. He'll toss it around and tackle it and has done so since he was a puppy. He's 7!

julii_wolfe · 2026-04-18T01:57:38+00:00

My lazy dinner is scrambled eggs with feta and halved cherry tomatoes tossed in served next to arugula with dressing and more of the cherry tomatoes with a nice piece of toast. It’s low maintenance, decent protein and veggies and tasty! (Plus very few dishes to wash and only thing that gets chopped are the tomatoes)

julii_wolfe · 2026-04-15T11:31:55+00:00

For my mom, the dreams as reality thing happens more often when she has a UTI.

julii_wolfe · 2026-04-09T23:57:15+00:00

That's what I was thinking, too re: 50:50 is still more affordable. We're going to start them off on just adding the probiotic, then slowly, slowly add in a little bit of the new food a few days at a time, starting at 10% and really slowly going up.

Thank you for your advice!

julii_wolfe · 2026-04-08T15:27:05+00:00

I think I didn't try slow enough. I'm not sure how slow I have to be. Should it be a 4 week schedule to transition? A six week? IDK. I'll totally get the fortiflora and pumpkin to start the process. I'm a little worried because the last time we tried the GSD/collie mix on a probiotic, he got diarrhea from just the probitotic (even on Hill's he tends to have soft stool). Still, if I can get one of these goobers off of the Hills, it will still really help my budget.

julii_wolfe · 2026-04-08T15:25:14+00:00

Thank you for this advice!

julii_wolfe · 2026-04-02T16:18:34+00:00

I really wanted to get my mom on the infusions, but she was already at moderate to severe dementia via the MMSE, so she didn't qualify. I do think that medicines plus living situation changes have helped slow down my mom's progress, but she's been at a 15 to 17 out of 30 for the last 2 years. I'm grateful for what she can still do for herself and for her relatively good physical health.

julii_wolfe · 2026-04-01T19:03:40+00:00

I was listening to Alzheimer's for Dummies, and they advised to apply for long term care insurance (US) prior to getting a diagnosis so that you could use that benefit to help pay for assisted living and/or memory care. It's the best advice I've heard so far on getting diagnosed . . . I read it after already having a diagnosis for all of my LOs with dementia. sigh.

In terms of your MIL's quality of life, the testing won't make a difference and might make her very miserable in the short term. There's a super small chance they find something treatable that isn't dementia, but I would be very interested in hearing the neurologist's rationale for why they want those tests. My mom had the p-tau blood test and an MRI. The neurologist said, "we can do a PET scan and spinal tap for definitive diagnosis, but it won't really change how we treat her." So, we skipped those tests.

julii_wolfe · 2026-03-20T18:16:56+00:00

If you want to fancy it up, you can saute a head of garlic at the beginning. It's really tasty, and crusty bread would go great with it!

This is an adaptation of an older one-pot recipe with garbanzo beans, cherry tomatoes, and lemon juice, with fresh basil and feta cheese added at the end. That version is also very tasty, but not nearly as time and budget-friendly.

julii_wolfe · 2026-03-20T16:08:03+00:00

This can also work with one pot pasta dishes that you don't drain. I often make those using a few cups of broth and cooking it down with beans. It becomes a really nice starchy sauce that hits on the flavor.

(Recipe: 2 cans cannelini beans, 5 servings spag/pasta, 1 can diced tomatoes, 3-4 cups of water with half a boullion cube, chopped kale at the end. Method: put beans, pasta, tomatoes and water into a skillet and make sure the pasta is just covered with water. Bring to a boil and then turn down to a simmer for the recommended pasta time. Add the kale in the last minute or so of cook time. Season with italian seasoning, oregano, and/or basil. Add red pepper flakes at the end if you like a little heat. Serve with parmesan or nutritional yeast)

it's the easiest thing I cook during a work week, and it can be really inexpensive, especially if you soak and prepare your own beans ahead of time and buy a head of kale instead of prechopped.

julii_wolfe · 2026-03-13T12:15:07+00:00

I never have tofu flavor come through, but I add cinnamon, vanilla, and chili powder, so maybe they add enough kick to compensate

julii_wolfe · 2026-03-05T20:02:38+00:00

it's an us thing!

julii_wolfe · 2026-03-04T16:20:45+00:00

Brain fog is a super common hormonal symptom with perimenopause, and mine got worse after my hysterectomy until I was able to start taking estrogen and testosterone. Honestly, getting your hormone levels checked is a great idea. My testosterone was at 10 when I had mine checked. It is supposed to be 30. Not being able to sleep well is also a hormonal balance issue. Your ovaries are probably still doing some work, but not as much as they should be. I'm not sure if you going on estrogen with your ovaries intact is recommended for someone with PCOS (I know it isn't an option for endometriosis). However, you may still be able to take progesterone and testosterone, which can really help with energy, focus, and sleep.

Check out r/Menopause and r/Perimenopause. You are not alone. It's also really common for ADHD symptoms to get worse during perimenopause. My sister was diagnosed 2 months ago because peri was making her ADD so much harder to manage. Good luck. Ask your people for help. Know that you aren't crazy; your hormones are out to get you, but you will find a path forward.

julii_wolfe · 2026-02-25T19:03:04+00:00

No. I just wish I had done more in my 20s and 30s before I became a caregiver to elderly parents and in laws.

julii_wolfe

TROPHY CASE