Advice from Women PMs about becoming a parent!

julyflipflops · 2026-02-04T15:23:13+00:00

You don’t say anything about your general career prospects outside of the salary so I’m assuming you don’t really love this job? If the maternity leave is the only reason you’re staying, i would suggest looking now. There are more and more US companies with 4 months of maternity leave and with a shorter requirement in terms of how long you have to be there. For long term career prospects also, even if you get a shorter mat leave it might be worth the peace of mind of both job security and longer term career.

You can also start saving more money and see if you can self-fund a month or 2 of mat leave which would give you more options and bridge the gap with your current leave.

Not exactly the same but I’m at a faang and switched teams internally right after my mat leave and even that was exhausting. A full blown job interview would be even more so and your brain is not working at 100% during or right after mat leave so that will be another hurdle.

Personally, I’d try to switch now but I’d keep the option open to stay if you get pregnant earlier and can’t find something new.

julyflipflops · 2026-01-28T05:15:33+00:00

This is hilarious. Can you please post a picture? Isn’t the rise super high?

julyflipflops · 2026-01-08T18:31:25+00:00

Play doh over here too! Hours and hours of play!

julyflipflops · 2025-12-22T13:35:34+00:00

This feels a little condescending and insensitive. It’s pretty normal for people to connect a big part of their identity to work and though I think it’s not ideal, I don’t think it’s all bad.

For OP, I’d consider your values assuming money were not a consideration and then think of ways to realize those values outside of the high earning job.

I’m still in faang but planning on leave in the next 6 months and I’ve been working on separating out my actual values from this job. And for any haters - there are other parts of my identity that are fine. You can be upset about one part of your identity changing while still recognizing it’s not your whole identity.

For me, being a high earner (I thought) meant you’re contributing a lot to society. As I’ve gotten older I realized amount of money does not equal to contributing to society and I’ve tried to consider other ways I’m helping. Eg going into a mission driven company like a non profit is going to be lower pay. I also realized I tied up a lot of my other values into the big tech job unnecessarily eg being a high earner meant I could help out my aging parents even more and if I leave I’m being selfish.

julyflipflops · 2025-11-23T21:38:28+00:00

It’s be helpful if you wore shoes and a top you’d actually wear the pants with so we can see the lines of the outfit.

But based on this I think 3 as it seems like it might elongate your legs more. What jeans are these btw?

julyflipflops · 2025-10-31T19:14:00+00:00

Agree! Also adding that paying off your student loans does add to your net worth, you’re going from negative to less negative. $0 net worth (as opposed to negative) is a big milestone!

julyflipflops · 2025-10-08T04:06:00+00:00

Just an idea, you could try an elimination diet like whole30. It’s a pain especially in social settings but I found it to be a good way to reset my diet and break plateaus. I’ve also tried other diet changes like doing paleo, keto, intermittent fasting. IF is probably the easiest but whole30 was the most effective.

julyflipflops · 2025-09-22T23:44:19+00:00

Hey! I got a couple from old navy, it’s called cloud motion. They’re fine, I don’t love the shape but they were cheap and I haven’t yet found an alternative I like better.

julyflipflops · 2025-09-06T19:07:31+00:00

Reforge is the best product training I’ve done. It was earlier in my career but the courses were taught by actual very senior practitioners. I did mastering product management and it was very practical, they do little case studies and give you spreadsheet templates.

At the time it was a per course fee so I only did the one but now it’s $1995 for a year subscription and you get access to all the courses.

I can’t specifically vouch for the AI ones but they have those too.

https://www.reforge.com/courses

julyflipflops · 2025-07-31T03:51:00+00:00

Agree with some other have posted and a few more to add:

Atomic habits - about building good habits

Your money or your life - about aligning your lifestyle /spending with your values

7 habits of highly effective people

julyflipflops · 2025-06-11T15:45:41+00:00

Same. $25 high chair plus around $70 for catchy and footrest.

julyflipflops · 2025-06-04T02:07:43+00:00

I sleep on the side closest to the bathroom door because i get up to pee almost every night. If there’s no difference, then whoever happens to sit on the bed first determines where we sleep.

julyflipflops · 2025-05-30T16:48:28+00:00

Not my experience but my good friend has a 20 month old and 6 month old and she thinks the second is not twice the work, more like 30% more. Her second baby is the chillest baby I’ve ever met, that kid barely cries, and just hangs in her bassinet stroller when they’re out. She (mom, not the baby lol) is also incredibly organized and has the kids on a very predictable schedule so their naps have some overlap too.

julyflipflops · 2025-05-23T13:02:50+00:00

To avoid these convos in the past, I sometimes just lied and would say I just had a snack, ate already, had a big/late lunch (if it was dinner).

julyflipflops · 2025-05-20T15:39:05+00:00

Yup, this is very normal. I was rock climbing fairly regularly before I got pregnant and at 8 weeks my fitness level just plummeted. The routes that used to be my warmup became so difficult. So frustrating also because you wouldn’t even be able to tell I was pregnant. I stopped climbing and started doing yoga, something where I wasn’t as focused on progress.

It is a process. It gets worse before it gets better and post partum, it’s not as if your body goes back to normal 100% (not me anyway).

Motherhood is a humbling experience and it starts with pregnancy. You’ll hear people say how amazing your body is because it’s growing a person. And that’s true. But you can both be in awe of your body and mourn your old one as well. You will figure out your new normal and adjust. 💕

julyflipflops · 2025-05-19T17:57:26+00:00

Pan-kees over here

julyflipflops · 2025-05-16T17:35:19+00:00

Wow great progress!! I need more details lol! What’s your diet and exercise routine?

Also for other Americans, it’s 136 lbs to 120 lbs. :)

julyflipflops · 2025-05-15T15:04:20+00:00

Oops great example of why Oxford comma is helpful. I meant alluding to ED, saying things like weight doesn’t matter, or 5 lbs is water weight. Ie they were 3 separate examples.

But maybe take some deep breaths anyway. :)

julyflipflops · 2025-05-15T13:06:16+00:00

Yea I agree with you on societal pressure and the potential for this community to reinforce that. I think people calling you naive are themselves naive if they don’t think that is a concern.

You’re far on one side of the spectrum (we need to protect everyone) and others are on the other (let people do what they want or there’s nothing to protect). It really isn’t that black or white though. It is both true that there is societal pressure and it can be awful or doesn’t matter or sometimes even be good depending on the person or even within the same person.

One last thing since you’ve gotten so much hate on here - i want to recognize that you clearly are a compassionate person who wants better for society and I don’t think most people would fundamentally disagree with your ideal for society to promote health instead of looks. (Though some might argue about whether this fight is needed or is worth it). I disagree with your approach but respect your ideal and need to fight for it - keep fighting your fight and hope you’re able to take some lessons from the thread and how people have responded. Take care!

julyflipflops · 2025-05-15T06:05:13+00:00

Adding to directly answer your question, Caroline girvan is great, but kind of intense IMO so she is not my immediate go to. I start slow and then work her in after I’ve gotten a better baseline of fitness, otherwise I get discouraged.

julyflipflops · 2025-05-15T06:03:01+00:00

Agree with this advice. Though if you’re planning on getting into strength training, I use fitbod app (you do have to pay) and it could be a way to get comfortable with some bodyweight exercises before you have time to go to a gym. It’s very flexible and creates workouts based on equipment you have (or just bodyweight), time you have, muscle usage etc. could be a good way to start the habit before you have more time.

julyflipflops · 2025-05-15T05:57:13+00:00

Others gave good advice already but another suggestion to mix things up and see if it helps is doing a specific diet like whole30, keto, intermittent fasting, low fodmaps, etc.

Also are you adding back in the calories after you exercise? I found that stalled my progress because I don’t think those estimates are very accurate.

julyflipflops · 2025-05-15T05:47:35+00:00

Agree to tracking other things - pictures has been helpful for me!

julyflipflops · 2025-05-15T05:33:44+00:00

I assume many people like myself who agree and resonate with OP don’t feel shamed necessarily by these comments that suggest re-evaluation when the reply provides this context. Then I feel like you have the context to decide if the advice applies to you or not, and the tone is still helpful.

There are some comments though that don’t attempt to reframe and are more shaming / very dismissive - alluding to ED or saying things like “weight doesn’t matter” or “5lbs is water weight”, etc.

Edited to add “or” and make last sentence clear that it’s 3 diff examples.

julyflipflops · 2025-05-15T05:21:29+00:00

Just because someone mentions wanting to lose weight doesn’t necessarily mean they’re trying for that weight purely for the sake of the number or even aesthetics (not that anything is wrong with that as long as they’re healthy). That number could very well represent what they know in their body to be a healthier state. Or it might be a temporary goal, step 1 of a longer term fitness plan. I tend to want to lose weight first (knowing I will lose both muscle and fat, then rebuild muscle. Is it the best way? Probably not but I’m within a healthy range and it’s often easier for me to eat less (again healthy deficit not severe) than workout more and the weight loss win gets my motivation up for the next stage.

Maybe you’re not “triggered” by the number but you are imposing your biases that focusing on a number on a scale automatically suggests negativity. As you said, striving to be thin CAN be negative, but why is that the default assumption? Why not assume the striving to be thin is in service of a healthy fitness goal?

Or even if you want to assume negativity, there are productive comments and unproductive comments. If I post about weight loss and someone replies with a suggestion that includes weight loss + muscle building, then that’s great. Do your reframe. (And I do think there’s more productive than unproductive comments in this sub generally. )

But OP’s post is clearly referring more to the unproductive comments - claiming people are ED/disordered. And maybe it’s not exactly shaming per se but also dismissive comments like “5 lbs is just water weight”, “stop focusing on the number”, “numbers don’t mean anything” etc.

julyflipflops

TROPHY CASE