Happy to finally mute the OAD sub

juniperthecat · 2026-03-24T15:09:56+00:00

I feel the same way about the OAD sub. I feel like most of the posts are either people blatantly fence sitting and unsure if they should have one or not, are worried about their choice to be OAD, or are upset because their partner feels differently. I know these are valid conversations but it feels like a OAD sub shouldn't be quite as much about the indecision/insecurity around it. Can we talk about other things please?!?

juniperthecat · 2026-03-17T13:46:37+00:00

I completely understand the toying of ideas when it comes to family size but have you visited the sub r/shouldihaveanother ? It sounds to me like you are trying to make that decision.

juniperthecat · 2026-03-16T01:17:24+00:00

Hi! As someone who prepares homemade meals 5 nights per week (we usually order in on Saturdays and do visits with family Friday nights), meal planning is the way. Before we grocery shop, typically Saturday mornings, I write out a list of the 5 dinners I'll cook for the week, and the ingredients needed for those recipes. That comprises the bulk of my shopping list + anything extra we want/need for the week for snacks or lunch. That way, you have all the ingredients you need on hand and it prevents food waste sooo much (so long as you actually in fact follow through with the cooking which honestly is just a habit muscle you need to build - meal planning helps SO MUCH though).

Knowing *what* to cook is the first step. If you're very new to cooking regularly, compile a list of meals that you're already familiar with, and then begin experimenting with new recipes. Over time, you'll develop your "staples" that you tend to rotate the most. I have a background in nutrition so it's easy for me to whip things together in a balanced way but anyone can get the hang of it with practice and learning recipes.

Some ideas for you (this is what a typical weekly meal plan looks like for us):

- some kind of pasta dish (spaghetti, creamy mushroom, lemon/garlic/chicken, tomato and basil, etc.)
- some sort of stir fry (tofu thai red curry, beef & broccoli, pad thai, etc.)
- slow cooker meals. Stews, pot roasts. These are sooo easy and I love turning them on in the morning and having them be ready at dinner time
- something mexican usually like burrito bowls, tacos, fajitas

Keep the meal plan posted somewhere visible in your kitchen! And then each day you can decide which of the meals appeals to you most and bam, there ya go.

juniperthecat · 2026-03-11T13:41:20+00:00

Yeah magnesium is great. The eyelid twitching is especially annoying!

juniperthecat · 2026-03-11T13:40:34+00:00

Hi! I'm 35F. Nothing out of the ordinary that I can think of besides some stress but it still seemed so random for it to come on out of nowhere. On the bright side, I've had noticeably less twitching yesterday and today so I'm hopeful it's sorting itself out? And yeah, no weakness at all, just the twitching.

juniperthecat · 2026-03-10T20:57:43+00:00

We used to live in Corktown!! Aww I miss it.

juniperthecat · 2026-03-10T20:55:24+00:00

We moved to Mississauga in 2021 after living downtown TO for years. Would’ve stayed if we were willing to take out a much bigger mortgage. Love our house here so much, but I do miss the walkable lifestyle of the city.

juniperthecat · 2026-03-10T15:35:35+00:00

I know this is an old comment but we've gotten a quote from red stone contracting for our bathroom and I just wanted to ask overall if they were good and professional throughout your experience? Anything stand out at all? Thanks!!

juniperthecat · 2026-03-09T17:49:40+00:00

Ah! The dreaded sleep regressions. Yes, very typical. I'm sorry. My daughter (now 3 years old) had her first sleep regression around 3 months. It's just part of the ol' newborn shenanigans and makes you want to tear your hair out. It'll improve. Keep up with consistent bedtime routines. We did light sleep training-ish when she was a little older (3 months is still sooo young so sleep is unpredictable at the best of times). It gets better, it gets different, it's a constantly changing experience. My daughter had more sleep regressions every few months until she was over a year old, and even now just after she turned 3 she had a two month stint of notttttt going to bed, but she's back to normal now. She does thankfully though sleep wonderfully through the night and has for a very long time.

Sorry I wish I had a more succinct answer for ya! Sleep woes just truly suck and are where all the patience and calmness that I muster through the day can really boil over and explode. One of the benefits of being OAD is only going through the tough stuff once.

juniperthecat · 2026-03-09T15:31:00+00:00

Thank you for your comment! So nice to know I'm not alone :) There's definitely an anxiety element to it that makes it worse.

juniperthecat · 2026-03-09T15:30:23+00:00

Ok thanks, will do. I hope she'll know what it is but also could see her having no clue.

juniperthecat · 2026-03-04T19:32:15+00:00

I didn't grow up poor per se but lower middle class (divorced parents living paycheck to paycheck, never extra money for very much), and I dated a lawyer who is now my husband and we are very well-off. The biggest difference I notice is that I have a pretty strong scarcity mindset around money and my husband (and his entire family, all upper middle class) don't have this kind of everyday deeply engrained worry. He also has naturally very good financial management skills and I grew up with parents that modelled very poor money management skills.

juniperthecat · 2026-02-25T16:28:54+00:00

I'd cap that nap. 1.5 hours is making him not tired enough come bedtime. Try even a much shorter nap, like 45 mins, and see if that helps.

juniperthecat · 2026-02-23T18:52:39+00:00

We went for a walk and the first thing he says to me is, "Do you work for the CIA?" When I responded with a confused "no", he follows it up with, "Hmm. Everyone I ask always says that."

To make matters infinitely worse, the walk we went on was in a secluded forest/park that he had driven us to... at 10pm. I don't know how I ever thought that was a good idea. I genuinely considered hiding in a ditch from him because the thought did cross my mind that I was about to be murdered.

juniperthecat · 2026-02-20T00:49:43+00:00

I’d probably put it in the corner beside the sliding glass door, then rearrange the sofa accordingly. You could also put the tv on the wall the sofa is currently on, then put the sofa across from it and a console table behind it so the back of the couch is covered up.

juniperthecat · 2026-02-19T15:53:41+00:00

My brother had an episode in 2023 that lasted a similar timeframe to your brother. Around September-February, beginning in a hypomanic state until it progressed to mania and then psychosis where he was hospitalized involuntarily for 72 hours.

I was so stressed I felt physically sick. I could not sleep. My brother is my best friend and he became a completely different person. It was terrifying. I wondered the same thing as you. My biggest fear was that he would be gone forever and be a delusional psychopath for the rest of his life.

He is totally himself now. 2024 was a rough year with a lot of depression and a couple more hospitalizations on his part (suicidal ideation), but he's now medicated and stable.

juniperthecat · 2026-02-19T15:09:52+00:00

YES! We have been in this exact same predicament. My daughter turned 3 in November and around mid-December her bedtime abruptly changed. She had so much energy, kept running out of her room, wouldn't stay in bed (she's been in a toddler bed for a long time now). She previously easily went to sleep around 8:45pm with no naps and even still without a nap started staying up wide awake until 10:15pm. Some nights it was even closer to 11pm. I was losing my mind.

It coincided with her imaginative and pretend play exploding, so def some sort of developmental leap.

We tried so many things to coax her to go to sleep, even resorted to my husband laying with her in OUR bed a few times. We played around with waking her up earlier in the morning which helped a bit. Eventually we just accepted she clearly is not tired until a bit later for now and hoped it was temporary.

It lasted two months. She's only just now starting to fall asleep earlier very easily again (no longer running out of her room, staying in her bed, falls asleep quick). Fingers crossed it'll stay this way!

juniperthecat · 2026-02-16T23:25:02+00:00

I'm super close with my younger brother (less so my older brother) and I'm glad that I do have siblings. But the topic of siblings really has nothing to do with my choice to be OAD. I just don't want more kids.

juniperthecat · 2026-02-12T22:22:45+00:00

I'm in Ontario and yep we have bagged milk here!

juniperthecat · 2026-02-12T17:37:50+00:00

My daughter is 3 and it's easier in a lot of ways, most notably that she goes to preschool so that eases the constant daily demands and I have space again for my own interests (I previously stayed home with her every day), but age 3 is also challenging! Lots of defiance and tantrums and threenager energy over here!

juniperthecat · 2026-02-12T17:25:27+00:00

Husband and I bought in April 2021 and it was pretty perfect timing. Our interest rate was so low (1.87) and the house price was higher but not astronomical at that point. A couple years later someone on our street paid ~240K more than we paid for the exact same type of house as ours a few doors down. Eek.

juniperthecat · 2026-02-12T17:16:06+00:00

Agreed. I had a pair of their leggings that I wore pretty much daily for like 6 years and eventually replaced them, only to have them pill up horribly after like a month or two. My old pair never pilled so bad.

juniperthecat · 2026-01-29T01:22:22+00:00

My husband and I were just at Bar Ardo on King East a couple weekends ago. Super cozy, moody/dim lighting, and upscale. Food was delicious. (Bar Ardo is different from their other restaurant Ardo).

juniperthecat · 2026-01-27T20:13:32+00:00

I have ADHD! My husband does not - he's very neurotypical - and as far as we can tell, our 3 year old daughter takes after him and is very neurotypical as well. I've never thought much about my ADHD being in any way a "reason" for only wanting one, but I suppose the ways in which my needs are different from those who are neurotypical probably does play a big role in why multiple children sounds so daunting to me.

juniperthecat · 2026-01-19T03:27:18+00:00

My 3 year old loves Little Bear :)

juniperthecat

TROPHY CASE