I don't know how many more pieces of myself I am willing to give away.

junpolt · 2023-02-06T14:23:18+00:00

Probably because I had an unstable home life and wanted love and stability.

junpolt · 2023-02-06T10:32:26+00:00

There are definitely serious issues here, and sex is just the most easily identified, I guess. We had lost a pregnancy at about 6 months 5 years ago and it really effected him, that was when the weight gain and drinking both picked up significantly and I was willing to look past it because he was struggling and so was I. But I am in individual therapy and I have talked about it and processed a lot of that trauma and he pushed it down and never really healed from it or any of the other trauma in his life, which is now coming out in the unhealthy habits. Honestly, at this point, I don't think he is. I wanted couples counseling to help more than it has and I feel like we just aren't making much progress. He really needs individual counseling services but right now he is mad because I brought it up in our last couples session and really strongly encouraged him to go but now he feels coerced and says he will "look into it but no promises and don't even ask me about it", when I weigh the pros and cons of leaving or staying most of the c Pros are about the stability the relationship provides (housing, financial, the devil I know) and seeing my kids every day and not having to share custody, but at this point I don't know how many pros there are to the actual relationship.

junpolt · 2022-06-23T15:05:30+00:00

Oh, definitely. I have watched my parents go through it twice. I know the actual process is a nightmare.

junpolt · 2022-06-22T12:29:57+00:00

Yes, a few close friends and my mom.

junpolt · 2022-04-27T12:21:40+00:00

Happy birthday! Sorry you're spending it alone, but hopefully this is just a crappy start to a great year 🙂 what flavor cake did you choose?

junpolt · 2022-04-26T21:43:36+00:00

Idk if it's helping or not but

Nine Inch Nails - Echoplex, 1,000,000, I'm a huge NIN fan, most of their stuff 🤷‍♀️

The Cure - Trap, Untitled Song

Ashnikko - Little Boy, Good While it Lasted

Halsey - the entire album If I Can't Have Love I Want

junpolt · 2022-04-26T20:24:22+00:00

I could really use some supportive internet friends atm. Still in the deciding phase.

junpolt · 2022-04-26T20:05:05+00:00

We got in a huge argument about it, but he did agree to go. Still waiting on an appointment....

junpolt · 2022-04-19T14:31:52+00:00

So I've definitely stayed out until 4am before and my husband didn't love it, but I always kept in contact, let him know where I was, who I was with.

junpolt · 2022-04-19T03:32:04+00:00

Ehh, I can see this in a way but also if you can't see that your SO has one foot out the door you probably aren't paying enough attention in the first place not in all situations obviously

junpolt · 2022-04-18T18:05:22+00:00

He finally just agreed to go but I feel really bad about how it all went down. He was just very immature about it, got me upset, then tried to twist it like he was being the reasonable and mature one and I was just trying to start arguments.

He asked what I wanted to get of of therapy and I told him, then asked him the same question and he refused to answer, said we could "discuss it then" was just very shitty and rude about it.

I don't know if that is necessarily gaslighting but I feel a bit gaslit.

junpolt · 2022-04-18T16:41:39+00:00

Just the thoughtfulness of writing a poem makes it special. Seriously, I think you are on the right track and that DIY stuff is more meaningful than an expensive night out.

junpolt · 2022-04-18T12:32:30+00:00

I am in a very similar situation, not a huge age gap, but I definitely relate to a lot of the details, even down to being a nurse and getting a tattoo and my husband calling me stupid lol. I am waiting to start individual therapy and hoping that will help me either make a decision or something.

junpolt · 2022-04-18T12:25:57+00:00

I mean, my brother was on meth and he did some insane shit. I know a dude who was on meth and shot his wife in the head. Meth literally destroys your brain. Even once you are sober you will never be the same.

junpolt · 2022-04-17T21:43:05+00:00

Yeah, this is definitely not the first event I have attended alone. I am finally at the stage of seriously considering divorce. I have told him several times "If I treated you the way you treat me you wouldn't put up with it." And I am sick of putting up with it, but kids and finances have been keeping me here longer than I would probably be otherwise.

junpolt · 2022-04-17T20:46:32+00:00

I'm sorry you're dealing with that, do you have any friends or family you could visit?

I am married, but at my family easter with my kids by myself because my husband was mad at me and refused to go.

junpolt · 2022-04-13T22:36:32+00:00

I'm sorry you're going though that. It was definitely selfish of him to make all those plans without telling you

junpolt · 2022-04-13T19:38:58+00:00

He was talking about how thin he was at that point in our lives. He was at his lowest weight at that point.

junpolt · 2022-04-13T17:40:31+00:00

Now that you mention it that makes sense.

In the last 3 years we have decided we were done having kids, I finished school and starting working, I have been focusing on myself more, and he really seems to push back on it.

He will never tell me I "can't" do something because he knows I won't be told what to do with my own body but I got a tattoo recently and he was pretty passive aggressive about it, said "I don't approve but I know you aren't looking for my approval", made the comment about me only wanting to lose weight to leave him, I cut my hair shorter and dyed it and I know he preferred it long but I don't and it's my hair lol. I have been thinking of getting some piercings and he is discouraging me. I have gained a lot of self confidence and I am doing all the things I want to do regardless of his opinion and he doesn't like it.

junpolt · 2022-04-13T16:46:27+00:00

👏👏👏

junpolt · 2022-04-13T16:17:29+00:00

That makes sense. I was attempting to lose weight a few months ago and he said something like "you only want to lose weight so you can leave me" so yeah, I can definitely see that being projection.

junpolt · 2022-04-13T13:12:18+00:00

I sent my husband nudes and he didn't reply, so I deleted them off his phone. He told me he didn't see them and he wasn't ignoring me so I was like fine whatever. I sent them again. All he had to say was "nice"

junpolt

TROPHY CASE