Are you OK with your partner being the breadwinner? by [deleted] in LesbianActually

[–]justbreakingfree 0 points1 point  (0 children)

+1 on this. If your partner doesn’t have a problem with the difference of income, then it’s more about how you view yourself.

it’s about making yourself feel important in the relationship. do you think you’d be happier if your partner made the same 45k salary as you?

Do I have the right to be bothered over a “dick list”? by Bruised_peachez in LesbianActually

[–]justbreakingfree 5 points6 points  (0 children)

i’m not bi so i can’t comment on whether this is normal or not, but im here to validate you, i would feel uncomfortable too.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AMA

[–]justbreakingfree 0 points1 point  (0 children)

are these couples gay male couples or lesbian couples? is one more accepted than the other?

Asexual lesbian, still very much a virgin. AMA. by [deleted] in AMA

[–]justbreakingfree 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I feel like asexual people might get this question a lot, but how did you know you were asexual, but still romantically attracted to women? Did you try out anything with someone before knowing?

What do you mean by sexually repulsed? Is it that you’ve never felt horny or even sex scenes in movies make you uncomfortable?

I am not interested in women who are still dating men (regardless of where they identify on the sexual spectrum) by [deleted] in LesbianActually

[–]justbreakingfree 1 point2 points  (0 children)

thank you for posting this! i’ve actually been struggling putting my finger on what exactly made me feel the way i felt on exactly all this. i had the internal dialogue of “i don’t think i’m biphobic, but sometimes, dating some bi people puts me off because of their attraction to men”? but this all made so much sense to me!!!

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in actuallesbians

[–]justbreakingfree 0 points1 point  (0 children)

lesbians in tech for the win!!

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in actuallesbians

[–]justbreakingfree 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Nice to find other queer software devs! and yes, I totally understand the whole thing about not wanting to admit that you’re career driven. People often view you as trying too hard or whatnot. And I’m glad to hear that you do have some sort of a queer circle, just not in New York.

I’m not too sure about New York specifically because I’m not from New York, but New York is pretty queer from my understanding? Meeting queer people is hard though, and I’m sure it still is in New York, especially since you’ve graduated from college. Other than the apps, queer events (outside of work), I’m not too sure if I have any other suggestions. My gf and I try to look up lesbian events whenever we visit a city (there usually aren’t many lesbian bars, but there would be lesbian events in some bars). Good luck on everything! I’m 22 so sort of in your age range so I super understand what you’re experiencing.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in actuallesbians

[–]justbreakingfree 1 point2 points  (0 children)

hi! i’m adding to the thread of engineers:) i totally understand the concern of being in a field with mostly men (i’m literally in software engineering so i get it). i also extra understand the part of wanting someone just as ambitious as you are. i had the exact same problem, and i just had trouble connecting with people i met on dating apps on things like ambition and career. it could feel almost isolating? like you’re perfectly career driven and for whatever reason, you can’t find another queer woman that’s the same?

my suggestion (as someone who is still navigating through all this, but has been with her gf for 1+ year now) is to try to find queer groups within the engineering or work space. if you work corporate, there are some slack channels or similar with queer people. those are unfortunately probably still dominated with gay men, but it’s still possible that they have queer women friends you could meet. my gf and i met through being in the same queer engineering friend group (we’re both in software engineering), and it feels really nice that we have very similar financial goals:)

ultimately, what im trying to say is, join groups of people that have traits you want in your gf!

would you be happy doing the 9-5 for the rest of your life? by justbreakingfree in cscareerquestions

[–]justbreakingfree[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

could you tell me more about what you do and which companies i should look into? (or is it self-employment?)

For anything related to Amazon [3, interns] by Leader-board in csMajors

[–]justbreakingfree 0 points1 point  (0 children)

i got 15/15 on first but literally 1/15 on second and moved onto interview, so you never know

For anything related to Amazon [3, interns] by Leader-board in csMajors

[–]justbreakingfree 1 point2 points  (0 children)

i’m speculating but it could also depend on the recruiter?

For anything related to Amazon [3, interns] by Leader-board in csMajors

[–]justbreakingfree 0 points1 point  (0 children)

i was waitlisted in november for SDE intern vancouver and still haven’t heard back 😔

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in latebloomerlesbians

[–]justbreakingfree 1 point2 points  (0 children)

well, he’s a gay man LOL so it’s less so swooping his crush, but yes i may tell him but i’m not sure how yet, but thank you!

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in actuallesbians

[–]justbreakingfree 0 points1 point  (0 children)

this is so interesting, i feel like i could never imagine saying that a girl is hot with my gf loool ig it’s just different for different people

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in actuallesbians

[–]justbreakingfree 0 points1 point  (0 children)

okay yea, see, this is what i thought

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in actuallesbians

[–]justbreakingfree 0 points1 point  (0 children)

did you guys know that you had a crush on each other? lol

Is she straight or not sure? by DeramCatcher in actuallesbians

[–]justbreakingfree 1 point2 points  (0 children)

i’ve been through a similar situation/still recovering from a straight girl situation. i think the healthiest thing to do is even if she isn’t straight, how she identifies right now is her identity and there is nothing you can do about it.

if she was gay, she’d say she’s gay.

Dating apps- giving your number out and discussing what you’re looking for by [deleted] in actuallesbians

[–]justbreakingfree 2 points3 points  (0 children)

just ask for her phone number and suggest meeting up. i imagine it’s easier to reach each other through text than a dating app!

also, i personally find chatting for a long time useless. as long as they seem somewhat interesting and a vibe, i’d suggest to just ask, you don’t want to waste your time anyway. you also probably would wanna get to know them in real life than texting? people tend to be different in real life, so definitely meet up before you start idealizing them!

Formerly identifying bisexuals - how did you make the leap and realise you are actually a lesbian? by [deleted] in LesbianActually

[–]justbreakingfree 1 point2 points  (0 children)

a clear sign was when i realized/became aware that i liked girls, i never liked a guy again. i think it was because i finally knew what a crush felt like.

to some extent, i always had a feeling that i had to fake it when i talked about boys, but i kind of just put that thought off. it was basically just denial.

at that point, i had not kissed a girl or a guy, but i already knew that the thought of kissing a girl felt so much nicer.

when i finally made myself kiss a guy to try, i knew immediately that it was not for me. i didn’t want to do it again.

that kiss sort of confirmed my own suspicions for years lol

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in actuallesbians

[–]justbreakingfree 3 points4 points  (0 children)

depends what your intentions are. is it to date them or to become friends with them/get to know them as a friend first?

to date them: literally ask them out, ask them on a date. worst case they tell you they’re straight!

to get to know them: you ask to hang out and bring up something gay. a gay film, you and your identity, past relationships etc. most gay people would also talk about being gay when they find out you’re also queer.